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Lex's Column
« on: Sep 22nd, 2002, 1:01am »		 Quote Quote Modify Modify
http://www.santacruzsentinel.com/archive/2002/September/21/style/stories /01style.htm
 
Lex van den Berghe: Surviving another season  
After four seasons, "Survivor" was definitely ready for a little spring cleaning, and thankfully "Survivor: Thailand’s" season premiere delivered.  
 
Anyone out there who’s watched all four installments of the CBS franchise has probably noticed that, aside from the playing field, very little changes from season to season and the program has become more and more predictable.
 
Predictability for a game show like "Survivor" is the kiss of death. We tune in each week precisely because we don’t know what’s going to happen or who will be the next to go.
 
Without some kind of real change-up to the game in Thailand, Mark Burnett's TV juggernaut was in danger of going stale and dying on the vine.
 
But Thursday’s premiere let us know, loud and proud, that this is a whole new game.
 
Only minutes after that first blow of the conch shell (which signals the beginning of the theme song), we were introduced to the most significant change in the rules: This time, instead of being released into their new environment as two predetermined tribes, our cast of 16 was divided down the gender line, then instructed that the two eldest among them — Jake (a 60-year-old land broker) and Jan (a 53-year-old first-grade teacher) — would be hand-picking their tribes.
 
Remember fifth-grade dodgeball and all the anxiety that went along with selecting teams?  
 
Watching the 14 Survivors in Thailand, sitting there biting their nails while Jake and Jan took turns choosing teammates, projected me right back to grade school.  
 
I could almost read their minds: "Don’t let me be picked last. Don’t let me be picked last. Don’t let me be picked last."
 
What a fitting way for master head-gamer Mark Burnett to play with these rookies’ minds on Day 1. He let them know that every preconceived notion they brought to the island could be pitched overboard.
 
For his tribe, called Sook Jai, Jake chose Jed (dental student, age 25), Ken (NYC police officer, 30), Robb (bartender, 23), Penny (pharmaceutical sales, 27), Shii Ann (executive recruiter, 28), Stephanie (firefighter, 29) and Erin (real estate agent, 26).
 
Jan’s tribe, called Chuay Gahn, has Brian (used car salesman, 34), Clay (restaurateur, 46), John (pastor, 40), Ted (software developer, 37), Ghandia (legal secretary, 33), Helen (Navy swim instructor, 47) and Tanya (social worker, 27).
 
The scenery this season is the most magnificent to date. Odd-shaped boulder islands covered in trees and lush greenery jut up through a deep blue sea. Dense tropical jungles provide plenty of color and an ample food supply for our castaways.  
 
Side note: Again, I have to say I’m a little peeved that these guys are eating shellfish and drinking from a generous pure water source, when we had to eat corn mush and drink water that tasted like it came from a monkey’s butt.
 
OK, back to the game: The Sook Jai tribe started exceedingly pleased about the folks Jake had selected (basically, all of the youngest players). They seemed intoxicated when they talked about their strengths and advantages over Chuay Gahn.  
 
But by Day 2 they were all at each other’s throats, bickering among themselves on tribal priorities.
 
Robb, the hipper-than-thou bartender from Arizona, seemed to be painting a "vote-me-out-now" sign on his back, when he completely flipped his wig and started yelling at Shii Ann, nicknamed "She-Devil."  
 
I could only shake my head as I watched this maniac digging his own shallow grave on just the second day of the game.
 
In what I hope proves to be prophecy, Shii Ann declared, "You do not mess with the She-Devil and not get the horns." This I can’t wait to see.
 
Thailand’s first immunity challenge was an interesting combination of boat race, swimming and traditional Thai puzzles that looked legitimately difficult.  
 
Chuay Gahn started strong and held a commanding lead nearly the entire race, until Ghandia was faced with the final puzzle. You could almost see the gears in her head grinding as she fumbled with the puzzle. Sook Jai raced by, nabbing the first immunity challenge victory.
 
Chuay Gahn, Jan of elders, would be the first to visit Jeff Probst at tribal council.
 
Incidentally, the tribal council area this season is stunning. Modeled after a Thai temple, it’s the most spectacular tribal council we’ve seen so far.
 
John, the Southern pastor, was just too arrogant at tribal council, so it's no surprise that he was the first person ejected from "Survivor: Thailand."
 
Let’s talk about some of the stand-out characters this time around. I’m already a big Clay fan. This Louisiana man seems to have a heart of gold. Despite his small size and sweet disposition, I think he’ll prove to be tough as nails.
 
Jake seems like a strong, level-headed player. If he manages to gain and maintain the respect of his younger tribemates, he may be in for the long haul.  
 
However, his decision to build a tribe almost entirely of volatile, unseasoned 20-somethings may end up biting him in the butt.
 
I really like Tanya — she seems like a genuine sweetheart. But I’m worried about her. She throws up every time she drinks water, and I’m concerned she’ll end up with the Jessie curse (cute girl who can’t hold down the water, second voted off). We’ll have to wait and see.
 
Let's talk about big-mouthed Robb the hypocrite. He’ll have to pull himself together if he plans on sticking around. For a guy who was swinging from vines like a monkey-boy as soon as his tribe hit the beach, he sure was cracking that whip hard on Shii Ann.
 
Only three days into the game, the rain looks miserable. It was constantly pouring, and everyone looks perpetually wet. Playing this game in the middle of monsoon season, I suspect the weather may become one of the biggest challenges for our friends in Thailand.
 
Lex van den Berghe is Santa Cruz’s own Survivor, reaching the finals in "Survivor-Africa." You’ll find him surfing playing with his band, Lucky Dog.
 
 
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Re: Lex's Column
« Reply #1 on: Sep 29th, 2002, 8:48am »		 Quote Quote Modify Modify
http://www.santacruzsentinel.com/archive/2002/September/28/style/stories /02style.htm
 
Lex Sez: Living with backstabbers, whiners and schemers  
 
What a fat drag — my favorite girly girl got the boot in this week’s episode of "Survivor: Thailand."
Oh Tanya, I’m going to miss your sweet smile, kind disposition and blue floral-print bikini. You were like a breath of fresh air, a happy ray of sunshine on an otherwise cloudy island fraught with backstabbers, whiners, schemers and liars.
 
I have to say I found this week’s installment lackluster at best. Maybe it’s because I haven’t gotten to know the characters well enough yet, but there didn’t seem to be any stories I could care about.  
 
OK, I guess Helen’s 20th wedding anniversary party was riveting stuff (yawn). Come on — let’s get ready to rumble!
 
I will admit, from a fan’s viewpoint, the tribal selection change-up we were treated to in episode one has made for entertaining television. It’s been an interesting experiment in human dynamics, resulting in two tribes that couldn’t be more different from one another.
 
Aside from the obvious age difference (Sook Jai is mainly the young’uns; Chuay Gahn is the older set), there are a few other intriguing distinctions.
 
Sook Jai has gone undefeated in challenges, yet tribe morale has been down since day one. They’re a tribe divided, constantly at each other’s throats.  
 
When Jake put his Sook Jai tribe together, he said he selected people who had a gleam in their eye. Was that the gleam of strength and vigor, or the look of bloodlust?
 
Although Chuay Gahn has lost every challenge and sacrificed two folks to tribal council, they’ve maintained pretty high morale. A genuine concern and kindness permeates their little society, bringing cohesion to the tribe.
 
I give them big points for not having lost their sense of humor. Chuay Gahn may not be on the scoreboard yet, but they have spirit.
 
Let’s recap episode highlights:
 
It was trouble in paradise for Sook Jai as they tried to settle in as a tribe. Already, they seem to be splintering, losing their sense of team.  
 
Shii Ann summed up the situation when she lamented, "There are so few happy moments here." Not a good sign five days into the game.
 
Each time they did chores (building a shelter, gathering food), Jed, Robb and Stephanie belly-ached and refused to participate. Those three have formed a world-class knucklehead alliance.
 
Stephanie traded in her common sense for a sense of pride when she insisted on sleeping out in the rain, rather than join the others in the shelter she had not helped build.  
 
Surprise, surprise — she woke up with a killer cold.
 
Back at Chuay Gahn, free time was better spent playing music (thanks to Brian’s guitar luxury item) and playing golf (thanks to Clay’s luxury item). If these guys manage to keep spirits light and stay focused, their luck may soon change for the better.
 
Unfortunately for Chuay Gahn, their luck this week was all bad. They lost the reward and immunity challenges, and found themselves back visiting Jeff Probst at tribal council.  
 
Tanya’s exit, after being ejected in a vote of 5-2, was all heart and class. She blew kisses to her tribe mates and wished them best of luck.
 
Who are the standout characters from "Survivor: Thailand?"
 
Robb, Thailand’s Gen Z reject, can’t utter a sentence without the word "Dude."  
 
Dude, did anyone else laugh as hard as I did when he laid down under the stars to sleep and prophesied clear skies all night, only to invoke a downpour of monsoon proportions? Pure hilarity and instant karma.
 
Jake’s tribe may be winning all the challenges, but as a society they’re unraveling at the seams. Winning is sweet, but you still have to live together. I can’t wait to see Sook Jai get their turn at tribal council. It’s going to be bloodbath.
 
Clay continues to win me over. He brings humor and heart to the show, which may prove indispensable on his way through this treacherous game.
 
Shii Ann is my favorite Sook Jai. If she can maintain an even temper, this little firecracker may go far. She’s got an aggressive, competitive energy that we’ve only seen in glimpses. But if she makes it to the merge and individual challenges, we’ll be in for a real show.
 
Next week’s previews are promising: Tune in to watch Ghandia go postal and flip her wig on Ted. Should be a train wreck worth checking out.  
 
Lex van den Berghe is Santa Cruz’s own Survivor, reaching the finals in "Survivor-Africa." You’ll find him surfing the waves or playing with his band, Lucky Dog.
 
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Lex'Episode 3 Column 10.04.02
« Reply #2 on: Oct 5th, 2002, 8:53pm »		 Quote Quote Modify Modify
http://www.survivor-central.com/columns/article.php?columns_id=402 (From Survivor Central)
 
Ask Lex: Survivor Thailand Ep. 3
Posted by Lex van den Berghe on 10.04.02  
 
Survivor Thailand may have come out of the gate a bit slow (with a couple of lackluster first episodes) but someone must have hit the nitrous system and floored it this week. The action and drama were full tilt, and we became privy to a dark side of our Thai cast that rivals any ugliness I’ve ever seen on Survivor.  
 
Previews last week gave us a peek into one of the unsavory storylines, namely Ghandia’s and Ted’s misunderstanding over a little frisky after-hours frolicking. Let me lay it out for you. The episode opened with Ghandia discussing how happy she was that Ted is on her tribe.  
 
She explained, “It’s kind of like my husband’s with me. And he’s so good to hug!” Cut to a nighttime scene, Chuay Gahn tribe all sleeping, Ghandia and Ted intertwined, like a couple of honeymooners.  
 
Next morning, Ghandia evidently felt a bit of lover’s remorse, as she lamented the on-camera tryst, and described a scene we never saw, in which Ted was grinding against her and biting her neck like a rabid horn-dog.  
 
Okay folks, trust me on this one. CBS has been waiting for two people to hook up on camera since season one. It would make great TV. If Ted had really transformed into the lecherous grope-monster Ghandia described, we would’ve all seen it play out in graphic detail through those creepy night-vision cameras.  
 
Now here’s where it gets good (or bad, depending on your point of view). The next morning, Ghandia took Ted aside to express her anxiety about the situation. Ted explained that in his semi-awake state of mind he may have mistaken Ghandia for his wife, but he immediately conceded that he understood why his late-night indiscretions might make her uncomfortable.  
 
He said, “I’m not gonna hug you or hold you at night anymore and I apologize from the bottom of my heart. Can you forgive me?”  
 
Ghandia kissed Ted on the cheek and said, “I forgive you. You’re a good person Ted.”  
 
No sooner had she “forgiven” Ted did she turn around and start talking trash about him to the rest of the tribe. Like the snake in the Garden of Eden, she worked on poisoning the minds of her tribe mates against Ted. Helen, the Navy swim instructor, bought it hook, line and sinker.  
 
Helen jumped aboard the man-bashing train as quick as she could and decided to lead the feminist witch-hunt to exorcise the demon that lived among them. Looks to me like she was waiting for any excuse to turn this game into a battle of the sexes.  
 
Maybe Mark Burnett should’ve included a sexual harassment seminar in their pre-game survival training. Then Ted would’ve realized that spooning somebody at night would put him at risk (better to employ the 18-inch buffer rule Ted, just in case!).  
 
Now, believe it or not, episode three got even uglier. The reward challenge this week set the stage for what I believe was the most despicable display of poor sportsmanship in Survivor history.  
 
The reward challenge consisted of a floating racecourse made up of narrow bamboo gangways with boats on each end. Survivors had to race across the course without falling into the water, grab a basket from a boat on the other end, and bring it back to their boat. First tribe to collect 10 baskets won the challenge.  
 
Now here’s the rub. In the center of the course was a “contact zone”, where it was fair game to knock an opposing tribe’s player off the gangway. As soon as Jeff Probst explained the rules, I knew it was going to get ugly. Think about it…take 16 of the most fiercely competitive people in the country, deprive them of food and promise a million dollar grand prize to the last one standing. It was like opening Pandora’s box. Frankly, I’m surprised someone didn’t get killed.  
 
The challenge started off fairly tame, but as soon as the first player took advantage of the contact zone, a Jekyll and Hyde effect transformed some of the players into contemptible jerks. The challenge rapidly deteriorated into a pathetic win-at-all-costs display that was hard to watch. Oddly, it was Sook Jai (three time challenge winners) that really started unraveling at the seams. Jed, Stephanie and most of all Robb’s behaviors in the challenge were disgraceful.  
 
Robb’s true colors as the worst poor sport to date shone through. When he found himself near the contact zone with Clay, the sweet-hearted Louisiana restauranteur, Robb grabbed Clay by the throat and threw him into the water. When Jeff Probst ejected him from the challenge (because Robb wasn’t in the contact zone when he strangled Clay), Robb reacted by flipping Jeff the bird. Later Robb, the Arizona Strangler, reflected on his bitterness towards Clay (maybe he was unhappy he hadn’t actually killed Clay) and said, “That backwoods hick…I wanted to spit in his face, dude.”  
 
Hands down, Robb gets my vote for biggest horse’s ass in Survivor history. I can’t wait to see this clown go down.  
 
It was gratifying to see Chuay Gahn win the challenge, primarily because of Sook Jai’s own mistakes. The reward was probably one of the best ever: two Thai Special Forces Red Beret soldiers at your disposal for twenty-four hours as your personal survival trainers.  
 
I’ve got to tell you Robb, I was almost a little disappointed that you guys didn’t win the challenge, because if you had, I’m sure those two Thai Red Berets would’ve kicked your sorry little punk ass as soon as they’d heard anything come out of your whiny mouth.  
 
This week’s episode wound down with a thinking man’s immunity challenge, a large-scale brainteaser puzzle. Chuay Gahn won by a landslide, and both Erin and Shii Ann made it clear that Sook Jai threw the challenge because they were ready to get rid of a few bad apples.  
 
My chanting of “Let it be Robb, let it be Robb” went unheard as they ejected Jed, the lazy hunky dental student, from the island. I think that poor guy was just as surprised as I was at the tribe’s decision.  
 
Let’s take a quick look at some of the player’s standings as I see them. Brian’s stock went up this week, after his clarity helped diffuse the Ghandia drama. I think Ted also proved himself to be a levelheaded player, even when under fire. Helen’s myopic vision and hasty reaction to the Ghandia drama sent her stock plummeting. Shii Ann, Jake, Erin and Ken all made a good showing this week despite their tribe’s downward spiral. I see a couple of potentially strong 4-person alliances forming on each tribe.  
 
Okay, I’ve got to take one more jab at Robb (god knows this guy gives me plenty of material to work with). Did any of you catch him primping himself in the reflection of his sunglasses before going to tribal council? What a riot! This guy is really too much.  
 
PS - Oh yeah, I saw the preening, my husband and I were rolling out eyes!
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Re: Lex's Column
« Reply #3 on: Oct 13th, 2002, 3:38am »		 Quote Quote Modify Modify
October 12, 2002  
There seems to be something missing from ‘Survivor: Thailand’
 
There’s something missing from this season of "Survivor." I thought I’d wait a bit before sharing this observation, but we’re nearly a third of the way through the season, and I think it’s safe to make a call.
I am simply not feeling the love on this island. This may seem inconsequential, but I think it’s a big deal. I’ve seen no signs of any genuine friendships forming out there in Thailand.
 
Granted, you don’t sign up for "Survivor" to make friends, but friendship has its place in the game.  
 
Every season to date had its tight-knit groups. Remember Rudy and Richard, Rodger and Elisabeth, Tina and Colby; Paschal, Gabriel and Neleh; Big Tom and me?
 
Not only were these friendships beneficial from a strategic standpoint, but they were also pleasant for us to watch, especially when the tone of the game became particularly wicked or ruthless.
 
I honestly can’t see a single true friendship developing in Thailand yet. The folks out there, on their best days, seem to be just tolerating each other.
 
It’s a bit hard to watch if you ask me.
 
This week’s episode opened with grim scenes of each tribe waking up on Day 10. Everyone looked pretty ragged, even though they seem to be eating seafood 24/7 and hot-tubbing in their private lagoons.
 
Social dynamics and interpersonal tension are taking a big toll on our castaways. In Sook Jai, Stephanie has all but thrown in the towel on her game. She insists on sleeping outside the shelter, alone, in the rain. And she’s given up on getting along with the others, choosing to ostracize herself from the tribe and behave abrasively around everyone.
 
The gender gap continued to widen over at Chuay Gahn, thanks to Ghandia fanning the feminist flames of discontent among the sisterhood.  
 
Frankly, the men didn’t help any by giving the gals plenty of reasons to resent them. C’mon guys — you’re all married. Do your wives honestly go for that caveman nonsense?
 
I loved this week’s reward challenge. Tree mail came in the form of a 10-foot, 250-pound dummy. Each tribe had to decorate their dolly with paint and fabric (the art supplies were already a huge reward, if you ask me) and bring their new friend to the challenge.
 
The dolls were not only hilarious, but really said something about each tribe.  
 
Sook Jai’s dummy was a dead-ringer for Robb, right down to the vacant stare and dopey grin. Chuay Gahn fashioned an impressive Chuay Gal, with big eyes and red lips, decked out in a coconut bikini top. I think Ted may have been designing a new bed pal, unbeknownst to his tribe.
 
The reward challenge required each tribe to carry their 10-foot dummies around a small island that was transformed into a treacherous obstacle course. The first team to get their dolly across the finish line would win a truck-load of bananas and four live chickens.
 
This race was without a doubt the most physically demanding challenge our friends in Thailand have faced so far. Humping that big ole dummy over mountains, through sand and across rough terrain looked brutal.
 
The race played out like the classic tortoise and hare competition, except that in this case it was the hare (Sook Jai) who creamed the tortoise. Chuay Gahn's age and strength handicap proved to be their undoing in yet another physical challenge.
 
Sook Jai had barely crossed the finish line before they started gorging themselves on bananas. No toilet paper or Kaopectate was included in the reward, so next week’s episode may be interesting.
 
Following the reward challenge loss, gender issues simmered within the Chuay Gahn camp. After losing this week’s immunity challenge, it seemed a foregone conclusion that Chuay Gahn's votes would be split 3-3 along gender lines.
 
Ghandia went on a pre-tribal council campaign, the likes of which we haven’t seen since Richard "naked guy" Hatch, aggressively lobbied for votes back on Survivor 1.
 
At first it seemed girl-power would prevail and we were going to see how tribal council tie-votes would be handled in Thailand (past votes no longer count against you in a tie situation).
 
But Helen switched gears, seeing her opportunity as the swing vote, trading in her feminist podium for a few more days on the island. She must have figured out that although ideals are noble, they won’t get you to the final two.
 
Ghandia was sent packing in a 4-2 vote, thanks to Helen’s 11th hour strategic epiphany.
 
Previews for next week’s episode gave us a sneak peek into what may be another game-changing switcheroo. It looks like Probst will make an offer to the remaining Survivors that requires a big decision on their part — an "individual" decision.  
 
Could it be that he’ll offer folks the opportunity to switch tribes voluntarily or select new tribes?
 
There was one other preview that had me jumping for joy. Did you see Robb-dude, the Arizona Strangler, getting pulled into the surf by (what I hope will be) a man-eating tiger shark?  
 
But it’ll probably just be another blood-thirsty sea urchin.  
 
Oh well, at least we may get to see the She-Devil relieve herself all over Robb’s wounded foot. Hmmm, maybe she’ll miss.
 
Lex van den Berghe is Santa Cruz’s own Survivor, reaching the finals in "Survivor-Africa." You’ll find him surfing the waves or playing with his band, Lucky Dog.
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Re: Lex's Column
« Reply #4 on: Oct 19th, 2002, 10:14am »		 Quote Quote Modify Modify
October 19, 2002  
 
 
Lex Sez: Competing for ‘Dumb’ and ‘Dumber’  
I looked up the words Sook Jai and Chuay Gahn in my Thai-English dictionary — they translate to "Dumb" and "Dumber."  
No surprise, considering these two tribes are going out of their way to make dumb decisions week after week.
 
Sook Jai started this week’s episode of "Survivor: Thailand" by deciding to slaughter and consume one of their four, worth-their-weight-in-gold-bullion chickens.  
 
This decision may not seem asinine, until you realize that they already have many bunches of bananas to eat and live chickens won’t go bad if you leave them out.  
 
I remember when survivors had to ration food.
 
The chicken thing got even worse. What kind of half-wits would kill and eat such a rare commodity on a day when there isn’t even a challenge scheduled?  
 
Food was so precious in Africa that we often saved what little we had to eat on an immunity challenge day, so we’d be stronger.
 
Sook Jai ate that fat chicken, then took naps and frolicked in the surf.
 
How sweet it was to see Sook Jai buffoon Robb get stung by some (too small/not deadly enough) sea critter. I laughed when he went down in the surf, flopping like a fish and shrieking like a little girl. Too much.  
 
Robb didn’t fare well in the pain-management department either. The way he was writhing and moaning down there in the sand, you’d think he’d just thrown himself on top of a live grenade.
 
Dude, I once was stung by a stingray and stepped on a sea urchin — on the same day, surfing in Mexico — and it wasn’t that bad. You’re a wuss.
 
OK, we’ve covered Dumb, now let’s move on to Dumber.  
 
This week Chuay Gahn complained that the food situation was getting bad. We watched as one tribe member after another bellyached about their bellyaches from the lack of food.  
 
Correct me if I’m wrong: Didn’t these clowns get 24 hours of survival training from Thai Special Forces Red Berets a couple weeks ago? Did they learn anything at all?
 
Chuay Gahn earned the Dumber title when Ted tied the tribe boat to a small twig stuck in the sand. This boat is the best way for these folks to transport their drinking water from spring to camp.  
 
That night, we watched the boat break free from its pathetic tie-down and float away, to the sound of survivors singing Christmas carols mixed with ominous background music, courtesy of "Survivor’s" clever producers.
 
The much-anticipated twist came at the reward challenge. Jeff asked, "Does anyone here want to switch tribes?"
 
He gave everyone 60 seconds to think it over.
 
Several castaways thought about it (Shii Ann and Stephanie especially), but I was amazed to see these people actually make a smart decision: All stayed right where they were.  
 
Switching to another tribe would make you look like a traitor. You’d probably become the next person with your head on the block at tribal council because of your lack of seniority.
 
In the food auction, everyone was a winner, although I don’t understand why a food auction was held on a show where contestants gorge themselves on fresh seafood every day.  
 
Chuay Gahn was the bigger winner — bidding more aggressively, spending more money (each tribe was given $1,000) and eating more food.  
 
Maybe Sook Jai was saving their dough to buy souvenirs.
 
This week’s immunity challenge took second place in the Lamest Immunity Challenge Ever category (the undefeated leader is last season’s death-defying, stilt-walking challenge).  
 
This week our survivors had to sort four types of fish into labeled bins as quickly as possible. First tribe to sort all their fish won immunity.
 
It was pitiful and tedious to watch. Everyone seemed to be moving in slow motion.  
 
What killed me was that nobody thought of using their shirts to carry fish to the sorting bins.  
 
Some actually put fish in their mouths so they’d get more to the bins, but anyone could’ve doubled their carrying capacity if they’d just put on their thinking caps and taken off their shirts. Dumb and Dumber.
 
After what seemed like agonizing hours, Chuay Gahn won immunity. Sook Jai took their second trip to tribal council; and in a 5-2 vote, Stephanie (Sook Jai’s outcast) was finally cast out.
 
Have any of you noticed that Jeff Probst is getting more and more irritated with the cast?  
 
I’m sure there are people every season who get on his nerves (I must’ve ticked him off once or twice in Africa), but until now he never really let his irritation show on TV.  
 
We’ve already seen him verbally smack down several people this season, and his short fuse tells me he must be getting as fed up with some of these folks as I am.
 
I’m beginning to wonder: Is there anything likable at all about Robb? Every time he opens his mouth, we’re forced to endure another dim-witted, malicious discourse. Will somebody please put this guy out of my misery?
 
Previews for next week’s show looked juicy. Chuay Gahn continues to make "smart" decisions, and all three remaining men swim swim swim in search of their missing boat. Yeah guys, way to save your energy for the challenges.
 
We also got a glimpse into what looks like a brawl between jackass Robb and Ken, the New York City cop.  
 
Oh, I hope the gloves come off and they go at it, bones to bones. Watch your back Ken — if you turn your head, I guarantee Robb will have a suckerpunch waiting for you.
 
Lex van den Berghe is Santa Cruz’s own Survivor, reaching the finals in "Survivor-Africa." You’ll find him surfing the waves or playing with his band, Lucky Dog.
 
 
 
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Re: Lex's Column
« Reply #5 on: Nov 2nd, 2002, 12:46pm »		 Quote Quote Modify Modify
http://www.santacruzsentinel.com/archive/2002/November/02/style/stories/ 02style.htm  
 
November 2, 2002  
Lex sez: One less chucklehead, and one wonderful trap  
Just my rotten luck.  
 
Wouldn’t you know it — the one week I couldn’t write my column turned out to be the same week Robb got tossed out of the game.  
 
So I guess this is my last chance to take a few more potshots at Sook Jai’s chucklehead.  
 
I’ll let everything else go, but the one thing I can’t forgive: Instead of going out in a brazen blaze of glory, Robb fell apart like a little girly-boy, appealing to everyone’s emotions in a last-ditch effort to save his skin.  
 
His cornball stories of reform and enlightenment were melodramatic, and I just couldn’t buy it. When the cameras zoomed in on Robb’s tribe mates weeping, I couldn’t help but wonder if they were crying tears of joy that they were finally rid of him.  
 
But wait — every good character deserves an epitaph after he’s passed on. So Robb (with two b’s), dude — here are a few thoughts before we lay you down to rest:  
 
At least you played the game hard, and you weren’t afraid to be loud and proud (even when you were a total jackass — I salute this).  
 
I may not have been in your corner for what you said or did, but I back the fact that you didn’t play by the (often effective/always boring) "under the radar" strategy.  
 
You were in our face, and made no apologies about it. And everyone, even the fans who couldn’t stand you, had to admit that you were entertaining.  
 
Sadly, the lion’s share of "Survivor: Thailand’s" edge and controversy was probably voted out along with you.  
 
OK, on to this week’s episode.  
 
If there was ever any doubt about who’s running the show out there in Thailand, there’s no question now. Puppet-masters Mark Burnett and Jeff Probst delivered a hard slap of reality to our 10 friends still in the game, and let everyone know who’s pulling the strings.  
 
In what seemed like a sadistic game of mind play, the Survivors were led to believe that the all-important merge had occurred at last.  
 
I remember anticipating the merge in Africa. We all spoke of the merge, and it incensed Mark and Jeff that we were anticipating future developments in the game.  
 
It was their game — how dare we make any assumptions?  
 
They preyed on our suspicion and planted seeds of doubt in our minds that this time around, a merge might not happen at all.  
 
What? No merge? Not possible. But we chewed on those doubts for days before they finally delivered a merge precisely on the day that we had predicted.  
 
This time around, the puppet-masters got their revenge. Just when everyone thought they’d become one big, happy family, Jeff pulled the rug out from under them.  
 
Here’s how it played out:  
 
Instead of a reward challenge, everyone gathered on a beach and Jeff announced, "We thought we would give you guys a chance to get to know someone from the other tribe."  
 
Everybody was paired off with somebody from the opposing tribe, and each pair was given a basket, some with food, others with instructions.  
 
Two sets of folks were instructed to take their partners on a tour of their camps and beaches.  
 
Upon their return, Jeff told the four that they would act as ambassadors and decide which of the two beaches would become the new home for both tribes.  
 
You could see the wheels turning in everyone’s heads: "Aha! It’s merge time."  
 
The ambassadors agreed that Chuay Gahn beach, with its built-in cave shelter, was to be everyone’s new home.  
 
These poor suckers were so naive. I’m amazed that every one of them jumped to the same conclusion.  
 
Didn’t they find it odd when Jeff told them both tribes would share the same beach? Did anybody find it peculiar that they weren’t given new colored buffs (those "Survivor" scarves), which have always signaled the merge?  
 
They were given wine, lots of it. The booze greased the wheels of social interaction, and it also clouded everybody’s common sense. Our pals fell right into the clever trap Jeff and Mark had set for them.  
 
Nobody in the game wanted a merge more than Shii Ann. Unfortunately, her enthusiasm transformed her from an aggressively shrewd strategist into a bumbling bigmouth with no game.  
 
I covered my eyes as she made one fatal mistake after another. After three weeks of feeling ostracized by her own tribe, she practically ran into the arms of the Chuay Gahn tribe, and the dam broke.  
 
She spilled the beans about everything that had gone on at Sook Jai. She lost her game face, showed her cards and threw her strategy right out the window.  
 
Then Jeff dropped the bomb on them when they showed up for the immunity challenge. As our friends were discussing how nice it was to finally be merged, Jeff declared, "I said nothing about a merge. You are two tribes living together on one beach."  
 
You could see Shii Ann’s face drop, and hear Homer Simpson crying, "Doh!" as reality’s ton of bricks hit her. She was toast.  
 
The immunity challenge was a blast to watch. Each tribe was handcuffed and shackled in a bamboo cell. Using only sticks and twine, the players had to retrieve keys hanging on distant poles. The first tribe to unlock all their shackles and dig themselves out of the cage won immunity.  
 
Chuay Gahn triumphed, sealing Shii Ann’s doom.  
 
Shii Ann, I’m bummed to see you go. You were a little firecracker, and you played a good game until this week. You were my original favorite to win, and definitely one of my favorites to watch.  
 
Looks like we may have a Chuay Gahn final four the way things are going. Brian, Ted, Clay and Helen are now sitting in the catbird seat, as I see it.  
 
Starting next week, everyone who’s been voted out will take a seat on the jury. This is when the game of "Survivor," merge or no merge, starts to get hardcore. I’m ready — bring it on.  
 
Lex van den Berghe is Santa Cruz’s own Survivor, reaching the finals in "Survivor-Africa." You’ll find him surfing the waves or playing with his band, Lucky Dog.
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Re: Lex's Column
« Reply #6 on: Nov 10th, 2002, 5:49pm »		 Quote Quote Modify Modify
http://www.santacruzsentinel.com/archive/2002/November/09/style/stories/ 02style.htm
 
November 9, 2002  
 
 
Lez sez: When ‘Survivors’ get psyched out
Following last week’s fiendishly clever merge-fakey, I was half-expecting Jeff Probst to open this episode of "Survivor: Thailand" by popping out from behind a coconut tree at Chuay Gahn beach and shouting, "Psyche!"
But episode eight came and went without even the hint of a merge.
 
The upside for us diehard fans was a long-overdue change-up in a game that had become far too predictable.  
 
Having rival tribes share the same beach as home base stoked the fires of rivalry and created some delicious drama.
 
It seemed unthinkably bizarre to me (as a veteran of the old-school "Survivor") that Chuay Gahn was able to wait and see who from Sook Jai had been voted out at tribal council that very night.  
 
In Africa, we used to sit around the fire for hours speculating on who’d gotten the boot. We’d have to wait until our next challenge, a day or two later, to find out who’d been sent packing, then scramble to adjust our strategies.
 
It seemed even stranger to me that both tribes decided to cohabit, sharing not only the same beach, but also shelter, fire and food.  
 
These folks have taken the concept of sleeping with the enemy to a whole new level. Next thing you know, we’ll see Big Ted spooning Ken, the NYC cop.
 
From an entertainment perspective, I thought this week’s "Survivor" was a bit stale. Aside from witnessing another castaway take the walk of shame, we didn’t see any more story play out.
 
We were treated to a few comical anecdotes; and since there isn’t much else to cover, let’s have a few laughs.
 
Penny traded in her power plays and alpha-girl status to kiss up to Chuay Gahn every chance she got. She was as busy as a bee, buzzing from flower to flower, in search of pollen.  
 
But every time she batted her big sweet eyes at the Chuay Gahn boys, they’d just roll theirs.
 
The cave’s landlords developed a nasty habit of urinating inside their own house. The cameras panned over many, many wet spots, and it looked like a bunch of puppies had been living there, not five people.
 
My first suspicion was that Chuay Gahn had taken to marking their territory now that they shared living space with their adversaries.  
 
Sounds crazy, eh? Well, check this out. Next scene cuts to Ken and Jake in the cave, expressing their disbelief over the whole peeing in the home thing.  
 
Enter Big Ted — who walks right by them to the wall and relieves himself, like an old tomcat spraying the couch. Riot.
 
Our friends decided to slaughter their last chicken, nicknamed Lucky, a simple act that became pure dramedy.  
 
"I’ve never seen such a damned ceremony around a chicken," no-nonsense Clay said. "Just kill him and eat him."
 
While Jake held the chicken’s neck and lectured about the Buddha, Granny Jan held its feet and cried crocodile tears.  
 
After the bird was killed, Jan buried its head and feet in her pet cemetery (next to Oliver, the dead bat fetus) and held a service, which ended with a sobbing Jan patting the earth on Lucky’s grave.  
 
Scene cuts to everyone gorging themselves — and a close-up of Jan, with drumstick in hand, slurping down chicken broth, grinning ear-to-ear. Pure hilarity.
 
The immunity challenge confused me. Jeff Probst set it up to be one of those multi-hour endurance tests of will, but it turned out to be one of the shortest challenges in "Survivor" history.
 
Players had to submerge below water and breathe through bamboo snorkels. If a player came up for air, they were out of the challenge. The tribe with the longest cumulative time underwater won.
 
This seemed ridiculously easy to me. I figured those guys would be down so long they’d come out looking like your fingertips do after being in the pool too long.  
 
But there must’ve been something going on that we weren’t privy to because Penny came up first after only nine seconds, followed by Ken at 15 seconds.
 
Brian was the last to come up and clinch immunity for Chuay Gahn, but he couldn’t have been under the water longer than two or three minutes.  
 
I honestly don’t know what was going on in there. Maybe the same vicious creature that attacked Robb-dude in the surf was nibbling at the players’ feet?
 
This week wound down with heaping helpings of melodrama, courtesy of Sook Jai, now four-time (in a row) immunity losers. Tribal Council was full of tears and ended predictably, with the ejection of Erin, Sook Jai’s busty babe from Texas.
 
By the way, has anyone else noticed that this is the cryingest "Survivor" ever? I’ve never seen so much weeping. Maybe they cast for sensitivity this season.
 
Okay, let’s do a quick rundown of who’s left. On Sook Jai, Ken appears to have thrown in the towel. His spirit is broken, and everything he does reeks of desperation.
 
Penny’s brown-nosing (see above) is getting her nowhere fast. Her freshness date has expired.
 
Jake made a strong showing this week. He seemed to be the only Sook Jai still in the game. He outlasted everyone on his tribe in the immunity challenge and got busy getting to know folks on the rival tribe.
 
Chuay Gahn couldn’t be in better shape for a single-tribe final four. If they keep their mind in the game and don’t do anything stupid, I can see Brian, Ted, Clay and Helen making it to the final episode.
 
Lex van den Berghe is Santa Cruz’s own Survivor, reaching the finals in "Survivor-Africa." You’ll find him surfing the waves or playing with his band, Lucky Dog.
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Re: Lex's Column
« Reply #7 on: Nov 18th, 2002, 10:11am »		 Quote Quote Modify Modify
November 16, 2002  
 
 
Lex sez: Something ain’t right in ‘Survivor’ land
Before I jump into this week’s "Survivor" dish-fest, I want to thank all y’all who sent in "where the hell was Lex" letters a couple weeks ago, as well as any of you who even noticed I was MIA for a week. It’s so nice to feel missed!
Some of you also wanted to know why I didn’t just have my wife Kelly stand in, as she so competently did several times last season (incidentally, if I wasn’t married to her, I might be concerned about the competition).  
 
Kelly and I were actually both indisposed, in observance of Kelly-kah, an annual week-long celebration commemorating Kelly’s birthday.  
 
Nope, I’m not kidding: one whole week!
 
All right, let’s talk "Survivor."
 
I’ll be honest — I’m having a really tough time thinking of anything interesting to write about this week’s episode, because, frankly, it was a colossal bore.  
 
And the thing is, I don’t have a clue as to which essential ingredient is missing. But something ain’t right.
 
All I know is that I’m used to spending that hour every Thursday night on the edge of my couch. Yet throughout this season, I’ve thought nothing of getting up while the show is on to grab a snack or a beer from the fridge. They’re starting to lose me.
 
Another thing I’ve noticed: There’s a disingenuous vibe that permeates this cast of characters. I don’t think it’s because these folks are insincere. Maybe it’s because they’ve managed to become singularly focused on the game.
 
Nearly every contestant has been playing a game of every-man-for-himself from the get-go. It would be nice every once in awhile to get a deeper glimpse of the human side of these players, rather than just their game faces.  
 
Maybe they were jaded by watching too many seasons of "Survivor" before playing their own game.
 
This week’s episode was all about family. In his classic salt-of-the-earth style, Clay introduced the theme of this week’s show with a simple statement, "Does anyone miss their families? This is the hardest thing I’ve ever done."
 
Damn straight, Clay. Being away from my wife and kids, completely out of touch with them for nearly two months, was brutal. The longing I felt for my family while I played that hard-core game in Africa was indescribably difficult.
 
The reward challenge this week began with the castaways getting a sneak peek at videos sent to the island by their loved ones.  
 
Ever since my experience on "Survivor," I get teary-eyed every time they get to this part of the season. It takes me right back to the game.
 
After everyone had previewed their videos, Jeff Probst signaled the much-anticipated tribe merge and announced that every challenge from here on would be individual.
 
The winner of this week’s challenge (another Survivor-style obstacle course) won the privilege of viewing their family video in its entirety (what a wicked tease for the losers).
 
Brian won the challenge, but ironically he seemed to be the one person out there who didn’t really want to watch his video.  
 
While everyone else was viewing sneak previews, he was the only one not visibly moved by the images of his family on-screen. Maybe he was wearing his game-face.
 
After winning the challenge, he and his tribe mates sat down to watch the rest of his video. "If my wife does anything embarrassing, I apologize," Brian announced. "She’s a little crazy."
 
Brian looked mortified as he watched his wife dancing on the TV screen. Was he afraid she’d do something inappropriate? Or was he bracing for the tour of his house, complete with baby grand piano and two new Cadillacs?  
 
Pre-game wealth has proven to be the kiss of death for more than one Survivor in past seasons.
 
When Brian’s wife apologized about the house being a mess, he nervously barked back at the video, "Why don’t you clean it up?"  
 
Definitely not the heartwarming, homesick gush-fest I was expecting.
 
The immunity challenge this week was a two-round thinking game involving Thai numbers. It tested memory, the ability to follow directions and good ol’ common sense.  
 
The final round saw Ken, the NYC cop battling Louisiana crawdaddy Clay. Clay bulldozed through the challenge and left a shell-shocked Ken in the dust.
 
The rest of the episode droned on, and we were treated to stock scenes of post-merge, pre-tribal council life back at camp.  
 
Some folks got grumpy and some schemed, while others scrambled, trying to orchestrate last-minute hail-Mary plays in the 11th hour.
 
Tribal council came and went with very little drama or suspense. All of us wanted to think there was a chance that one of those half-baked underdog plans would surprise us when Jeff tallied the votes, but we all knew what the outcome would be: NYC Ken became the ninth Survivor cast out of Thailand.
 
Unfortunately for us fans who love "Survivor’s" unpredictability, this season has been too easy to call. Now that we’re nearing the final stretch (only four more episodes to go) — a time when typically all bets are off, and it could be anyone’s game — it’s become more predictable than ever.
 
I think the puppet masters made a critical error in their decision to delay the merge. The delay only compounded this problem.  
 
If the two tribes had merged earlier, the switch to individual reward and immunity challenges would’ve given every player (regardless of tribe) better odds of staying in the game.
 
The extra time spent together as one tribe would have increased the likelihood of new deals and alliances being struck by players from opposing tribes.
 
The result of this late merge is a game we’ve probably all figured out to the last episode. Sook Jai alumni are down to two; and, barring any miraculous immunity challenge victories, Penny will go next, followed closely by Jake.  
 
Jan will probably be Chuay Gahn’s first sacrificial lamb, leaving us with Brian, Ted, Clay and Helen in the final four.  
 
How long ago did we all make that call?
 
Lex van den Berghe is Santa Cruz’s own Survivor, reaching the finals in "Survivor-Africa." You’ll find him surfing the waves or playing with his band, Lucky Dog.
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Re: Lex's Column
« Reply #8 on: Dec 1st, 2002, 1:46pm »		 Quote Quote Modify Modify
http://www.santacruzsentinel.com/archive/2002/November/23/style/stories/ 02style.htm
 
November 23, 2002  
 
 
Lex sez
"Survivor: Thailand" broke its drama slump this week and delivered with a good old-fashioned nail-biter, full of backstabbing and scheming. Themes in this week’s episode revolved around lying, deceit, truth and loyalty — heavy on deceit, light on loyalty.
Final Four is only two tribal councils away, and our friends are beginning to lose it. Their rabid lust for a seat on that Final Four has become blatant, and nobody is concerned with hiding their motives or ruthlessness. All masks of propriety have been dropped, and everyone can now see the ugly truth in their neighbors.
 
On a season where players are skeptical of alliances and prefer to safely hedge their bets until the very end rather than trust a stranger’s loyalty, the final seven players are learning that they may have miscalculated their victory plans.  
 
Since day one, they have focused on playing the game solo, so engrossed in this solitary strategy that they’ve forgotten a fundamental ingredient in a winning plan: strength in numbers.
 
You can only go so far in the game of "Survivor" (and the game of life, for that matter) without occasionally surrendering yourself to blind faith and building real relationships with some of the people you’re competing against.
 
Of course, "Survivor" ultimately is a game of every-man-for-himself, but your life span in the game can be dramatically extended if you’ve made some good friendships early on.  
 
There’s nothing better than having folks watch your back, especially when the game gets hard-core. And I’ll tell you another thing: It’s a lot tougher writing a friend’s name on one of those little cards in tribal council than you might think, even if it’s for a million bucks.
 
Making alliances all boils down to security — something our Thai friends have little of.
 
The cornerstone of my strategy was my alliance with Big Tom and Ethan. I think Africa’s million-dollar man Ethan would be the first to admit that he won that million in large part thanks to Tom and me.
 
Brian, Thailand’s self-proclaimed super-strategist, is lucky that everyone else on the island has approached this game with the same myopic plan of attack. It would only take one rock-solid little partnership to dethrone King Cocky.
 
Okay, enough strategy-babble. How about a play-by-play of this week’s show?
 
The episode opened on our pals, the morning after tribal council. Ted frantically tried to find out why Jeff Probst had read his name aloud three times the night before. As Ted fumed, everyone else scrambled to make new deals, back-up deals and double-deals.  
 
The camp buzzed with the sound of desperation. Loyalties (or lack thereof) were tested in both challenges.
 
The reward challenge was a four-stage obstacle course that required people to wear their alliances on their sleeves. The race opened on Probst’s "go," and the seven players had to pair up, resulting in the odd man out being disqualified.  
 
Poor Jake had the look of a deer caught in the headlights as everyone else quickly paired off and left him alone in the dust, scratching his head.
 
Brian won the challenge and received Probst’s invitation for lunch on the mainland with the tribe mate of his choice. Brian chose his race partner, Clay, the Louisiana crawdaddy. The boat-helicopter-elephant trip were lackluster and got about three minutes of airtime at most.
 
But as Clay and Brian returned from their recess in paradise and pulled up to the island in a fancy motorboat, I was shocked to hear Brian say about his tribe mates: "They were all waiting there on the beach like lost sheep longing for their masters."
 
What?! I wonder if Brian felt like a total horse’s ass while he watched that scene play out on TV.
 
Brian has proven himself to be the most arrogant player in Thailand, with his constant self-congratulations and speeches on how he’s controlling the whole game — but that was over the top.
 
The immunity challenge was a quiz on Thai culture. Each player had three lit torches; and each time players answered a question correctly, they could snuff out one of their opponents’ torches.
 
This diabolical challenge is like a public lie-detector test. It exposes everyone’s loyalties and strategies. A similar challenge proved to be the kiss of death for what seemed an unbeatable alliance in "Survivor: Marquesas."
 
From the first question, Penny had no shame in publicly showing her true colors, as she bit the hand that feeds and snuffed one of Jake’s torches.
 
Everybody responded, showing her exactly how they dealt with double-crossers. In a sneak preview of tribal council, all of Penny’s torches were extinguished.
 
With the most correct answers and some careful political maneuvering, Helen won immunity after playing a brilliant game.
 
Let’s run down the list of players still in the game:
 
Jan survives only by the good graces of others running the show. Either that or they haven’t noticed she’s still around. She’s a sweet old lady, bless her heart, but a bit on the fruity side.
 
Clay is proving to be a real weasel, making promises to everyone that he has no intention of keeping. He’d better be careful or everyone’s going to smell the stink of treachery all over him.
 
Poor Jake is scrambling to save his skin, and he’s running out of ideas fast. It’s too late to change the tide, and the best he can do now is win immunities to stick around.
 
Ted may have the security of a shaky alliance, but his grumpy demeanor and sour grapes response to loss is starting to get on his buddies’ nerves.
 
Early in the game, Brian confessed that his secret was to be cool, observe everyone and lead with cunning and subtlety — basically, a control freak’s version of the under-the-radar strategy.  
 
But Brian’s ego got the best of him, and he’s resorted to Napoleonic tactics fueled by delusions of grandeur.
 
Helen is playing the smartest, shrewdest game. She may be in the driver’s seat, but she’s bright enough to let cocksure Brian take the heat as leader.
 
Tune in next week on Wednesday (not Thursday) for a recap episode with "never before seen footage." Ugh.  
 
Well, look on the bright side. We get to watch scenes with old favorites Robb-dude and Shii Ann. And recap or not, it probably won’t be as boring as the last two episodes.
 
Lex van den Berghe is Santa Cruz’s own Survivor, reaching the finals in "Survivor-Africa." You’ll find him surfing the waves or playing with his band, Lucky Dog.  
 
 
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Re: Lex's Column
« Reply #9 on: Dec 1st, 2002, 1:47pm »		 Quote Quote Modify Modify
http://www.santacruzsentinel.com/archive/2002/November/30/style/stories/ 02style.htm
 
Lex van den Berghe: Lex Sez
‘Survivor: Thailand’ recap reveals a razor and a roving eye  
It’s not really coming to me. I can’t seem to find the inspiration to write a column about an episode of "Survivor" that was essentially a rapid-fire review covering the first 30 days of the game. And truthfully, I’m still not sure what the point of the recap episode is.
Is it honestly an attempt to refresh our memories and get us all up to speed before the game kicks into high gear? That might be a good idea, if the plot lines twisted and turned like a complex leCarre novel. But c’mon, I think we’d all get by just fine without the rehash.
 
The upside of the recap episode is the never-before-seen footage that CBS sprinkles in between all of the challenge repeats. That’s the real meat and potatoes of the recap, and I wish they’d serve up more of this substantial fare.
 
Why not just replace the recap episode with a whole hour of never-aired footage? It’d be the perfect opportunity for us to get to know the 16 characters better. Challenges and storyline are all very interesting, but the real entertainment value of "Survivor" is in the 16 human beings playing.
 
In 13 weeks we, as viewers, begin to feel intimately involved and invested in these players and this is what keeps us coming back each week.
 
OK, after sifting through all the review footage, here’s the new stuff we learned about our ragtag crew in Thailand.
 
It looks like pastor John Raymond was Thailand’s first casualty in part because he rubbed folks the wrong way with his take-charge attitude. We watched as he assumed the responsibility of building first fire, while barking orders for others to go forage for tinder.
 
I suspect some of the other alpha-personalities felt threatened by his immediate bid for top-dog status in the pecking order. And to the rest, his attempt to ingratiate himself with the tribe because he was the fire-starter (ergo, provider of life) was just too obvious.
 
We also gained insight into the island’s sexual harassment scandal between Ted and Ghandia. Both players ended up appearing guiltier than ever of alleged indiscretions.
 
We watched scene after scene of Ghandia (dubbed the "diva queen" by her tribe mates) striking cheesy supermodel poses for Ted’s trusty imaginary camera.
 
I don’t know which was funnier: Ghandia role-playing her Heidi Klum fantasies, strutting around the beach, sticking her butt out for the "camera," or "photographer" Ted drooling over his subject as he burned through rolls of make-believe film.
 
Speaking of horny "Survivor" castaways, the Louisiana crawdaddy Clay showed us his sexy side this week as well. Until now, we could only wonder: Is Clay staring at all the girls’ hineys or does it just look that way?
 
But sweet granny Jan confirmed our suspicions and playfully outed the saucy southern restaurateur. "Well, I guess Clay’s an ass-man, apparently." At which point we were treated to a marathon montage of Erin’s bikini’d backside with an ever-present pie-eyed Clay in the background chuckling like Beavis and Butthead.
 
We also got a good tour of Ted’s luxury item, which is a complete shaving kit. Now I have to go on the record here and say that I’m angry about his luxury item.
 
What I wouldn’t have given in Africa for a single opportunity to shave that wretched, horrid beard off my face. We were all told before going to Africa, that absolutely no toiletries would be permitted as our luxury items. I guess their intention was to really make us look as filthy and uncomfortable as possible out there.
 
Ted showed us his ritual head shaving routine, performed every three days after surviving another tribal council. Now, what I really want to know is why he isn’t shaving his face, and more importantly why he isn’t sharing the shaving kit with everyone else to gain favor with them?
 
The only thing I can figure is that he was forbidden to share it, because the producers didn’t want all of their "Survivor" castaways looking clean and civilized.
 
My favorite new footage in this week’s recap episode had to be Jake versus the canoe. It was so nice to see a fresh side of Jake, who until now seemed just too even-tempered, ineffectual, and dare I say — dull?
 
We became privy to a whole other Jake, as we watched him try to negotiate his tribe’s canoe past the breakers out to calmer water. We found out that they’d been given a real "piece of crap canoe" and poor Jake couldn’t row five yards without taking on so much water that his sad little boat sank to the bottom.
 
After several aborted attempts, Jake finally lost it and leaped in the air and slammed down deliberately onto the canoe, in what looked like a WWF wrestling move. He then cursed at the boat and finished his tantrum off by kicking his hat in a fit of frustrated rage.
 
It was hilarious to watch and instantly made me a Jake fan.
 
For the first time in a recap episode, CBS also included post-boot interview footage of the players voted off the island. This was probably one of my favorite parts of the recap episode. Hearing the bootees talk about why they feel they were ejected provided great insight into the story. And it really separated the humble from the bitter.
 
Next week, "Survivor Thailand" officially hits the home stretch. Only three more episodes to go and we’ll know definitively who outschemed, outlied, and outscrewed the competition to walk away with a million clams. Stay tuned — it should get good.
 
Lex van den Berghe is Santa Cruz’s own Survivor, reaching the finals in "Survivor Africa." You’ll find him surfing the waves or playing with his band, Lucky Dog.  
 
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Re: Lex's Column
« Reply #10 on: Dec 8th, 2002, 11:46pm »		 Quote Quote Modify Modify
December 7, 2002  
 
 
Lex Sez: Finding answers in a bowl of boiled scorpions
My sentimental wife Kelly soaked through a couple of crying towels watching this week’s "Survivor." It was the visit-from-loved-ones episode, in which spouses, siblings and offspring magically appear with a wave of Jeff Probst’s god-hand and a poof of blue smoke.
OK, maybe there’s no blue smoke, but there might as well be since it’s a major production to spirit these kinfolk secretly out to an island in the middle of nowhere.
 
Thailand’s six remaining castaways shared quite a bit of camera time with their loved ones this week (more so than ever before).
 
Before the reward challenge, Jeff announced he’d reveal what they were playing for. As our haggard, filthy friends stared in wide-eyed anticipation for Jeff to toss out the little bone they’d brawl over, squeaky-clean loved ones filed out one by one.
 
Helen’s husband, Ted’s brother, Brian’s wife, Jake’s wife, Clay’s wife, and Jan’s son all walked into the reward area, an arm’s length from their family members.
 
And the tears flowed like a Marquesan waterfall.  
 
How they cried — except for stone-faced Brian, who must’ve checked his heart at the door. Probably part of that super-strategic master plan of his.
 
I’ll admit, even I got a little choked up. But that has to be a residual effect of my own Survivor experience, some kind of post-traumatic syndrome.
 
Jeff announced this week’s reward: 24 hours with your loved one who would live with the tribe as an honorary Survivor for a day.  
 
For the losers: nothing — no hug, no kiss, no handshake.
 
The challenge was a gross-food contest with a twist. This time, loved ones would don bibs and suck down vile fare. So Survivors spent this reward challenge on the bench while their family members assumed first-string duties.
 
The elimination contest consisted of a five-course meal, each course worse than the last. On the menu? A variety of bugs to tap into every insect phobia imaginable.
 
Lunch began with a tablespoon of red ants. No big deal really, but already in round one the loved ones were dry heaving. Everyone managed to get their bugs down though.
 
For the second repulsive course, Jeff brought out plates with water roaches as big as candy bars.  
 
As Jake’s wife Jenny bit into her roachy appetizer, juice shot out of that little bugger, and you could see her fighting the urge to throw it far away.
 
Helen’s hubby Jim started convulsing, and his eyes teared up as he tried to choke his roach down. Helen shot her sternest military-momma look, waved her finger at him and scolded, ÒDon’t you dare! You swallow it!Ó  
 
It was spousal encouragement at its best, and totally hilarious. And swallow it he did.
 
Brian’s wife didn’t even pick her roach up. She pulled out of the challenge before it had barely begun.
 
The third course consisted of three live, milky-white grubs as big as cocktail weenies. This was a timed trial; the first two folks to get their grubs down moved on. Helen’s man Jim, fueled by his wife’s coaching, and Jake’s wife Jenny gobbled their way into the finals.
 
After two more rounds of boiled tarantula and boiled scorpion, Helen’s Jim emerged as champ and returned to Chuay Jai camp to spend the next 24 hours living with the tribe.
 
It’s always interesting to see outsiders’ reactions to the Survivor camp. After a month of living like an animal, you just don’t realize how harsh, stinky and horrid it is. It becomes your new reality.  
 
But Jim summed it up best when he sarcastically complimented the tribe on their digs. ÒThis is wonderful," he said. "I suppose the losers get to spend two nights out here.Ó
 
The family members returned for the immunity challenge. This time everyone got to hug and kiss. In another twist, players were paired up with their loved ones to compete for immunity by building giant puzzle cubes from a pile of odd- shaped pieces.  
 
Ted and his brother were the first to complete the task, winning Ted immunity from the next vote.
 
It was fascinating to watch each pair of loved ones say their goodbyes. Most followed the classic tearful formula.  
 
But as others cried and kissed, Brian and his wife seemed strictly business. She whispered, ÒYou’ve got to win it all, baby.Ó  
 
And he replied, ÒI’m gonna try to. I’ve got a plan going, a big plan.Ó
 
Brian has played a brilliant game. He’s pressed pause on all emotion and approach this game with the calculation and cold cunning of a robot.  
 
It’s an ingenious strategy, but one that most of us could never pull off. As far as entertainment value is concerned though, it’s been like watching a machine play Survivor.  
 
He moves and plays with unwavering predictability. Although this will probably get him to the final two, it’s not very fun to watch.
 
Helen has also played a shrewd, smart game. She’s proven that she can be a formidable competitor, but has also shown her human (sometimes vulnerable) side.  
 
It’s been entertaining to see her prevail despite fallible, very human emotions. I’d really like to see her take the grand prize.
 
We all knew how tribal council was going to shake out, and predictably Jake was ejected this week. For a while, it looked like Clay was on the outs. Helen was clearly thinking smarter than Brian when she suggested they parboil the crawdaddy and keep Jake around a bit longer.
 
But Brian is pulling the strings out there, and he stuck to old tribal lines, which means that now we’ll get to watch Chuay Gahn start eating their own.
 
Get ready, because next week my lovely wife Kelly will sit in for me, sharing her unique perspective on this season while I do a little TV thang in Hollyweird. I can’t wait to see what she has to say.
 
I’ll be back in two weeks with a post-finale wrap up. Kelly and I will be going down to Los Angeles to attend the live finale show and party with the cast of "Survivor: Thailand" and alumni from the first four seasons.  
 
I’ll give you the play-by-play when we get back.
 
Lex van den Berghe is Santa Cruz’s own Survivor, reaching the finals in "Survivor-Africa." You’ll find him surfing the waves or playing with his band, Lucky Dog.
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Re: Lex's Column
« Reply #11 on: Dec 15th, 2002, 7:13pm »		 Quote Quote Modify Modify
http://www.santacruzsentinel.com/archive/2002/December/14/style/stories/ 02style.htm
 
December 14, 2002  
 
 
Lez Sez: Who is your favorite ‘Survivor’ castaway?
By KELLY VAN DEN BERGHE  
Who are you rooting for, as we near the end of another "Survivor" saga? There are so many ways to go about picking your favorite survivor.
You can go with the under-the-radar nice guy — beloved, but boring to watch.  
 
Or the popular evil survivor; the one you love to hate who’s always fun to watch.  
 
How about the "Survivor" elder, whom you respect for keeping up with the young ones — and even for trying out in the first place.  
 
And the underdogs, who come up from behind — you may not have been in their corner at first, but they grew on you after awhile.
 
It all comes down to who you feel played the best. So let’s look at our choices.
 
After Thursday night, "Survivor: Thailand" gave us our final four: Brian, Clay, Helen and Jan.  
 
Not one of them fits into the aforementioned criteria. Each one seems to be a hodgepodge of all things "Survivor."
 
If you weren’t sure who was the game’s mastermind, Brian reminded you again and again. He revealed his master strategy to be Mr. Ice, the one who skates the best. I think he even said he had the biggest skates.  
 
Brian is both Mr. Under-the-Radar and Mr. Evil. Not that I think that’s a bad thing.  
 
Although he made for boring TV, he mastered this game and set himself up to be in the final two. So I guess he’s playing the best game. Everybody on his tribe loves him — even if we don’t.
 
That firecracker Clay — we love to hate him, he’s never boring and he set himself up to be a perfect final two partner. I mean who on the jury would vote for him?  
 
He hasn’t made too many friends on the island, and he’s the one I’d want to be standing next to in the final two.
 
Helen, I was rooting for her. I felt she was the underdog, and she’s made it this far by carrying her own weight and playing a smart game. But I don’t think she’ll end up in the final two.  
 
The third-place position is where players like her end up.
 
Jan, well, I’m not going to be popular with my opinion here, but I think she’s just lucky.  
 
I love her; she’s funny and wacky, and I can’t wait to meet her. But I don’t think she made it to the final four because she was a great competitor. One thing I do know for sure, though: She could kick my ass.
 
This week’s episode started out with Helen hacking the life out of a coconut, like a maniac from a horror film. That set the tone for the show, and you could smell the distrust in the air. Everyone except Brian and Clay feared they could be next on the chopping block.
 
When tree mail arrived, it came with a full-length mirror and photos of the survivors taken before they started the game.  
 
They all compared their healthy, before game bodies to the skinny, haven’t eaten in 30-plus days bodies. It looked like a Slim Fast advertisement.
 
The men were in the mirror the most, flexing and looking at their teeth. All of them looked thin and shocked at what their reflections showed them.
 
The final reward challenge was a big one. The players competed for a new Chevy Trail Blazer, along with an overnight stay at a spa, "Survivor" style (including a Thai feast, massage, shower and silk pajamas — oh yeah!).
 
The challenge was a good one: an obstacle course/word scramble. The race was close right up to the end when Brian won — or so we thought.  
 
After Brian announced his answer (he had arranged his letters to spell R-A-O-D-T-R-I-P), Jeff Probst pointed out that the word was misspelled.  
 
Ted heard Brian shout out "roadtrip," so he quickly rearranged his own letters and swooped in to win the prize.
 
When Jeff told him he could a take a guest, Ted picked Helen, and off they went to enjoy a night of pampering, leaving behind a fuming, bitter Brian.
 
The trip started smoothly enough. But with dinner came wine; and before you knew it, a hilariously wasted Ted transformed the calm spa trip into a drunken party.
 
Poor Helen, she was a good sport. After all, as she pointed out, she was his guest.
 
In true "Survivor" fashion, we watched Ted and Helen living it up, juxtaposed against scenes of the losers back at camp feeling jealous and resentful as they plotted the next move.
 
Ted and Helen returned the next day with gifts of wine and leftovers, and waited to see where the chips were going to fall.
 
Ted questioned an evasive Brian about the alliance they’d formed early in the game. Brian tried placating him with a hug, but no promises were made. We could all see the writing on the wall for poor Ted.
 
Brian and Helen stole away to discuss strategies privately. It was obvious they were searching each other for signs of loyalty or treachery.
 
When she was alone, Helen admitted to the camera that she was playing both sides, and would wait to see who won immunity before making any moves.
 
For immunity this week, the Survivors used puzzle pieces to build a staircase that would lead them to the immunity necklace and a guaranteed spot in the final four.  
 
All hopes of a twist or dramatic change-up in the game were dashed when Brian placed down his last puzzle piece and casually sauntered up the stairs to the immunity necklace.  
 
For the first time, Brian publicly displayed his arrogance and poor sportsmanship for all to see, and practically broke into a victory dance.
 
Trust is a word often used, but it doesn’t hold a lot of water at this point of the game. Jan pointed out that even though she would trust her tribemates in any other situation, she knows this is a game and what you say is not necessarily what you do.
 
Ted fell victim to this harsh aspect of the game when Brian told him he would not be voted out, that it was going to be Jan. Moments later Ted’s torch was snuffed out.
 
Brian broke down his views on the tribal pecking order and shared a bit more of his master plan. He said his trump card in the game is Granny Jan; and when he’s used her, she’ll be disposable. He considers Helen the loyal soldier who has a good work ethic and owes him. And Uncle Clay is a good friend who has an understanding of what they both want (sounds like the real alliance to me).
 
Brian has listed the final four in order of dismissal, barring any upsets in the last two immunity challenges.
 
My predictions for next week echo Brian’s: We’ll see Brian and Clay in the final two spots, with Brian walking away $1 million richer.
 
That said, I wish them good luck and look forward to meeting the cast of "Survivor: Thailand" at next week’s finale.
 
Kelly is married to Lex van den Berghe, Santa Cruz’s own Survivor, reaching the finals in "Survivor-Africa." You’ll find him surfing the waves or playing with his band, Lucky Dog.  
 
 
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Re: Lex's Column
« Reply #12 on: Dec 29th, 2002, 6:22am »		 Quote Quote Modify Modify
http://www.santacruzsentinel.com/archive/2002/December/28/style/stories/ 02style.htm
 
December 28, 2002  
 
 
Lex sez:  
Big Tom takes the Santa Cruz tour; Lex survives another day of ‘Hell-A’
 
I have to be honest with you: After spending three days last week in Hell-A attending the "Thailand Finale Extravaganza," I really am Survivored out.  
I did have a good time though, saw some old friends and met some great new people.
 
So instead of devoting this week’s column to a rehash of the final episode, I thought I’d tell y’all about my Survivor-related adventures in Hollyweird — you know, make you feel like you were riding shotgun with me the whole time.
 
First, let’s rewind a bit, to Monday, after we’d all received a good ass-whoopin’ from Mother Nature. Thank god the weather mellowed long enough to allow the landing of a passenger plane carrying precious cargo for me all the way from Rich Valley, Va.
 
No, it wasn’t a load of mason jars filled with sweet Appalachian moonshine (mmmm). This cargo packed an even bigger kick: Big Tom himself, decked out in his signature Key bib overalls and straw hat (complete with lucky raccoon wiener).
 
In a twisted version of Town Mouse/Country Mouse, my goat-farmin’ hayseed brother from Virginia was finally visiting his freaky, tattooed brother in Santa Cruz.  
 
I was hell-bent on showing my brother-from-another-mother a good time, but was faced with a 36-hour time window before we had to road trip down south for the "Survivor" festivities.
 
What followed was a fierce, nitro-burning tour of Lex’s life in Santa Cruz that barely scratched the surface, but kept ole Tom entertained. Some events and names have been omitted to protect the guilty.
 
After putting 30 miles and the mountains between us and San Jose, I took Big Tom straight to one of my favorite saloons, the 1007 bar.
 
Tom had developed a powerful thirst flying through that storm, and my pal Jimmy set us up with a couple of their legendary Bloody Marys to kick-start the day’s events.
 
What would a tour of Santa Cruz be without a stroll down Pacific Avenue? Big Tom’s head spun around as he took in all the local color. In a hilarious switcheroo, I noticed that Tom was also turning heads.  
 
Folks who anywhere else would peak the bizarro meter were staring at the farmer freak (and it wasn’t because they recognized the guy from "Survivor: Africa").
 
Tom had only seen the ocean one other time in his life (when we were all flown to Santa Monica for "Survivor’s" final selection process), so I took him to the Lane to check out some BIG waves.  
 
His eyes popped out of his head cartoon-style when he caught a gander at those double overhead sets bombing through.
 
Kelly and I wanted to unleash Ciao Bella on Big Tom — or was it the other way around? But they’d lost power in the storm, so we had to scrap those plans. Can you imagine Tom flat-footing on that little stage with Tad and Agent 99? It would be epic!
 
Instead we took Tom to Mobo for his first-ever taste of sushi. Everyone in the restaurant chuckled to see an old-school farmer negotiating raw fish off little plates with rubber-banded chopsticks (think training wheels).
 
The next morning I planned a visit to my sons’ school, DeLaveaga, for a little show-and-tell. After his experience at the Pacific Garden Mall, Tom decided his bibs needed some left-coast style. I set him up with NHS gear so he’d feel cool around the kids.
 
I wish I could’ve taken Big Tom on a tour of all Santa Cruz schools — he was absolutely on fire and had the kids in stitches, never neglecting to throw in his salt-of-the-earth wisdom and a moral-of-the-story here and there.
 
Example: "I had my experience with drugs when I was a kid — I got drugged to the principal’s office and was drugged to church every Sunday. Thank goodness some of those drugs are still with me!"
 
After I’d pulled Tom away from the kids at DeLaveaga, we paid a visit to our favorite custom motorcycle shop, Cycle Imagery.  
 
Joe and the guys at the shop are building two of the most bad-ass bikes ever for Tom and me, so keep your eyes peeled for us on the road in a couple of months. I’ll be the guy grinning ear to ear, cruising a savage candy green with gold metal-flake flame-job monster.
 
The Lex tour of Santa Cruz wouldn’t be complete without a stop at True Art Tattoo and Staircase Tattoo.  
 
I was hoping Big Tom would walk out of the shops sporting pierced nipples and a full back piece of a goat riding a John Deere tractor, but I guess we’ll save that for next time.  
 
On to Los Angeles
In all honesty, attending the show’s finale was a bittersweet experience. It was held at Television City (the CBS Studios lot), in the same studio as our "Africa" finale. Being there took me right back to our own wrap-up, a surreal night of conflicting emotions.
 
I watched with everyone else as the final four shrank to three, then two. Although I called Brian to win long ago, it didn’t make it any easier to watch when the jury awarded him the $1 million purse and title of Ultimate Survivor.
 
They say you can tell a lot from a man’s handshake; and when I finally met Brian for the first time at the finale, I had the same open mind and clean slate with which I meet all Survivors. I know from experience that the people you meet in the flesh are often very different from those you got to know on television.
 
But when I shook Brian’s hand, it felt like what I’d expect from the self-professed Iceman: cold, calculating and shallow.  
 
Maybe he’s still playing the game; or maybe with him, what you see is what you get.  
 
Brian certainly sealed his reputation at the finale as "Survivor’s" most arrogant winner ever. Though I can’t deny he played a brilliant (if heartless and dull) game, it wouldn’t kill him to have at least one humble bone in his body.
 
The "Survivor: Thailand" party was a great time. Pure Hollywood excess: a giant party tent dressed in lavish Thai finery, fueled by Patron and exotic rum drinks.
 
For me, the real attractions were the guests. There must’ve been two or three dozen "Survivor" alumni from previous seasons and a bunch of producers and crew I’ve gotten very close to. It was like a wonderfully dysfunctional family reunion.
 
I finally got to meet the cast of "Thailand" — the real people. With the exception of Brian "Iceman" Heidik, everyone was warm, enthusiastic and super-friendly.  
 
You may be surprised to find out that even the young punk, Robb "Dude" is really a very sweet (and humble) guy. I’m serious.
 
Giddiness filled the air. Helen and I jumped up and down like schoolgirls when we met, and Clay planted a big wet crawdaddy kiss on my cheek. Hey, cut us some slack — we’d had a couple or three or four rum drinks.
 
In a recent interview, Mark Burnett announced plans to do an "All-Star Survivor" for season nine, and said he’d select two players from each of the first eight seasons.  
 
Should be interesting. I suspect it’ll be the most ruthless and hard-core "Survivor" yet.
 
By the way, if anyone’s interested, I’m selling the Chevy Avalanche I won on "Survivor: Africa." It’s still practically brand new, fully loaded; and, if you buy it, I’ll spend the day with you on a Santa Cruz adventure of our own.  
 
Brace yourselves and get ready for "Survivor: The Amazon" premiering in February. I saw some of my old producer and crew buddies at the finale who just returned from filming the show in Brazil. Although they couldn’t divulge secrets about the game, they all predicted the "Amazon" would be one of the most entertaining seasons ever.  
 
Pssst — I heard rumors of piranhas and jaguars. Don’t tell anyone I told you that.
 
Lex van den Berghe is Santa Cruz’s own Survivor, reaching the finals in "Survivor: Africa." You’ll find him surfing the waves or playing with his band, Lucky Dog.  
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Re: Lex's Column
« Reply #13 on: Dec 29th, 2002, 1:45pm »		 Quote Quote Modify Modify
That was very entertaining.   Gosh, wouldn't it be fun to have Big Tom host some kind of survivor preview show each week, or maybe a post-show hash each week.  I just don't think there could ever be a survivor contestant as colorful as Big Tom.
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Re: Lex's Column
« Reply #14 on: Dec 30th, 2002, 8:59pm »		 Quote Quote Modify Modify
I totally agree .... I just loved Big Tom ...
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