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Topic: Interesting Commentary (Read 397 times)

lakelady
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Interesting Commentary
« on: May 22^nd, 2005, 9:17am »

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From Bill Simmons of ESPN.com's Page 2. May 16th notes He's a big Survivor fan.

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Now, here are three reasons why "Survivor" is the greatest reality game show of all-time:

1. It created the "Voting one person off every week" gimmick. Everyone forgets this now because at least 20,000 shows have ripped it off (and the vast majority of them were terrible). But you could make a decent case that this was one of the six most influential TV gimmicks of the last 25 years, right up there with the single-camera/no laugh track sitcom ("Larry Sanders"); MTV cops ("Miami Vice"); the real-time drama ("24," which actually ripped off the idea from the Nic Cage flick "Snake Eyes," but whatever); and men who could turn into animals to solve crimes ("Manimal" OK, that one didn't work).

2. Unlike just about every other reality format, it hasn't gotten remotely stale. Only "The Amazing Race," "Real World/Road Rules Challenge" and "7 Lives Exposed" can say that, and I don't think any of those shows are in "Survivor's" class (with the possible exception of the last one). Just look at what happened to "The Bachelor" this season they tried to mix things up and ended up accidentally turning it into "Elimidate." Poor Chris Harrison had the "Does anyone know if Extreme Makeover or Super Nanny is hiring?" face going from Episode 3 on.

3. Any show is going to have unsolvable flaws, especially a reality game show. But that's the crazy thing about "Survivor" the flaws work in favor of the show and make it more fun to watch. For instance, its three biggest flaws were in full bloom this season:

A. If you're fat, lazy, unathletic and uncoordinated, this works to your advantage because the others will stupidly keep you around (only because you're not a threat to win any immunities). Last season, Chris won the whole game by playing the fat-lazy-unathletic-uncoordinated card. This season, Katie finished second. I can't emphasize this strongly enough this drives me crazy. But in a good way. Like, I enjoy complaining about it. Seeing Katie waddle through challenges with a dumb grin on her face, going half-speed like Manny Ramirez during one of his "I don't feel like trying this week" funks, knowing she was a mortal lock for the Final Five since she was smart enough to align with the two strongest competitors I mean, this drives me bonkers. I can't handle it. No show pushes my buttons like "Survivor" does. I think this is a good thing.

(Note: One change they could make without changing the game too much the person who finishes last in an immunity challenge has to vote for themselves at Tribal Council. There should be some penalty, don't you think?)

B. The Alpha Dog (aka, best provider, best leader, best immunity challenger and most honorable person) always gets voted off around the Final 6 or Final 7, and only because they make the fatal mistake of trusting the Fat Lazy Unathletic Uncoordinated Group and the Chicks (who invariably end up stabbing the Alpha Dog in the back and switching alliances on him) because they're too good to know any better. This season featured an Alpha Dog (Tom the Fireman) who was smart enough to see the proverbial back stab coming, so he orchestrated a brilliant Alliance Switch to break up this year's annoying pseudo couple (Gregg and Jenn) just as they were gaining control of the tribe. As a bonus, this made it 10 times more likely that Gregg and Jenn will have to leak an amateur sex tape to make money over the next 12 months. So really, everybody wins here.

C. The format of the game depends on one shortsighted moron back-stabbing one or more close friends to make the Final Two, always forgetting that this will come back to haunt them at the final Tribal Council, as they end up losing key votes and getting skewered by a barrage of personal attacks (which always makes for great TV). Without this person, the last three or four shows of the season will unquestionably stink. That's a pretty dangerous contingency for a show, don't you think? But every season, somebody steps up and plays the role of the Shortsighted Moron.

This year's volunteer was Ian, who would have won the contest if not for two crucial mistakes: 1.) choosing Tom over his buddy Katie on the car challenge, which allowed the three chicks to remain on the island together and question his integrity; 2.) telling Katie and Jenn that he would be voting Tom off before the next immunity challenge (like that wasn't getting back to Tom for God's sake, he was confiding in two chicks!!!!). If neither of those events happened, he would be a million dollars richer right now.

But here's another great thing about "Survivor:" Just when you think the game can't surprise you, it surprises you. After straddling an uncomfortable pole against Tom for six hours in the final immunity challenge, Ian turned down Tom's offer to go to the Final Two, waited another five hours, called Isiah Thomas on his cell phone for advice, then made the following deal with Tom: "I'll jump off right now if you forgive me for trying to stab you in the back, become my friend again and take Katie to the Final Two."

So here was Tom's choice: "Either I continue to straddle this pole, or I win a million dollars and pretend that I'll keep in touch with this dink after the show ends."

Needless to say, Tom took the deal and ended up winning the game. Still, this was fantastic TV. Who's dumber than Ian? Anybody? Who else would give up a million dollars for another man that they've known for five weeks? Didn't he watch the other episodes of "Survivor?" Did any of the winners remotely care that they lost the friendships of a few complete strangers? Isn't the goal of the game to get people to trust you, then stab them in the back? Ian ended up bowing out to keep his integrity, conveniently forgetting that he was a freaking reality game-show contestant! Just a wildly entertaining turn of events. Again, I love being driven crazy by this show, if that makes sense.

Four more notes and then I'm done:

1. I want to see another show where it's just Tom against Rob (the guy who won the first All-Stars contest and proposed to Amber) in the "Survivor All-Stars Who Always Sound A Little Bit Drunk" contest.

2. In last week's chat, I mentioned how Lindsay Lohan had joined the Jennifer Connelly All-Stars, for women who became frighteningly skinny and lost their best asset in the process (their chest). Well, here's another All-Star team for you: the Stephanie LaGrossa All-Stars, for women who look three times better when they haven't showered for a few days, haven't done their hair and aren't wearing any makeup. I actually dated someone like this in the mid-90's. Every time she wore makeup, she looked like a little kid who snuck into Mom's makeup drawer. Bizarre phenomenon. These are also the girls who look tremendous in baseball hats or football jerseys. There's no rhyme or reason to it.

3. Was anyone else bitterly disappointed that they abandoned the whole "Jeff Probst takes the final votes, hacks through the forest for seven hours, fends off two wild boars, puts together a two-seat airplane from scratch, then flies across the world and parachutes out of the plane, somehow landing right as the last 10 minutes of the final episode is starting" gimmick? Come on! That was a guaranteed mid-90s score on the Unintentional Comedy Scale every season! Why deprive us of this? I was hoping he was going to latch onto the back of a nuclear sub or something. No dice.

4. In the reunion special, Coby the Hairdresser's announcement that he adopted a baby and named her "Janu" had to have been one of the five or six funniest TV moments of the past 35 years. I keep imagining Coby's daughter asking her father 15 years from now, "Dad, why am I named Janu?" and Coby answering, "Honey, I named you after the deranged Vegas showgirl who appeared on that reality TV show with me, the one who weighed 80 pounds and looked like Medusa."

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Genius
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Re: Interesting Commentary
« Reply #1 on: May 22^nd, 2005, 9:55am »

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lakelady
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Re: Interesting Commentary
« Reply #2 on: May 22^nd, 2005, 9:56am »

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Glad you enjoyed that Genius. Cheesy

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JP
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Re: Interesting Commentary
« Reply #3 on: May 22^nd, 2005, 12:35pm »

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Wow! Good read! Thanks!

I hate the Ian bashing though. Angry

Hopefully, Steph will read this article and will try to lessen her make up and such. Tongue

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Genius
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Re: Interesting Commentary
« Reply #4 on: May 25^th, 2005, 5:42am »

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3. Was anyone else bitterly disappointed that they abandoned the whole "Jeff Probst takes the final votes, hacks through the forest for seven hours, fends off two wild boars, puts together a two-seat airplane from scratch, then flies across the world and parachutes out of the plane, somehow landing right as the last 10 minutes of the final episode is starting" gimmick? Come on! That was a guaranteed mid-90s score on the Unintentional Comedy Scale every season! Why deprive us of this? I was hoping he was going to latch onto the back of a nuclear sub or something. No dice.

4. In the reunion special, Coby the Hairdresser's announcement that he adopted a baby and named her "Janu" had to have been one of the five or six funniest TV moments of the past 35 years. I keep imagining Coby's daughter asking her father 15 years from now, "Dad, why am I named Janu?" and Coby answering, "Honey, I named you after the deranged Vegas showgirl who appeared on that reality TV show with me, the one who weighed 80 pounds and looked like Medusa."

My fave parts! And I didn't like the Ian criticizing too. If not, one of the best articles ever! Grin

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Acalithos
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Re: Interesting Commentary
« Reply #5 on: May 25^th, 2005, 11:48pm »

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on May 22^nd, 2005, 9:17am, lakelady wrote:

This season featured an Alpha Dog (Tom the Fireman) who was smart enough to see the proverbial back stab coming, so he orchestrated a brilliant Alliance Switch to break up this year's annoying pseudo couple (Gregg and Jenn) just as they were gaining control of the tribe. As a bonus, this made it 10 times more likely that Gregg and Jenn will have to leak an amateur sex tape to make money over the next 12 months. So really, everybody wins here.

I think that it would have been more likely for Jeff and Kim to make the sex tape Kiss

Very funny article LL!! I espically like the Janu comment, even though i didn't really like the Ian bashing it is soooo true!!

« Last Edit: May 25^th, 2005, 11:49pm by Acalithos »

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