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Topic: The funny odds of online dating (Read 548 times)

lakelady
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The funny odds of online dating
« on: Jun 11^th, 2004, 10:14am »

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The funny odds of online dating
Internet daters voicing complaints
Thursday, June 10, 2004 Posted: 12:46 PM EDT (1646 GMT)

NEW YORK (Reuters) -- Rick, a Web site developer from Columbus, Ohio, remembers his divorce nearly four years ago with an extra tinge of bitterness: His ex-wife remarried the same day, to a man she met via the Internet.

"After we decided to split, we were still living together for awhile and she got online," Rick, 29, said. "They ended up meeting and two days after that, she was wearing his ring."

Rick later tried his own luck at a Web dating forum, but said a promising flirtation with a woman turned sour after several weeks of e-mail contact. He finally met a new love online, but not at a dating site -- the unsuspecting sweetheart sent him a message to compliment a music disc he had recorded.

"It's blossomed very naturally as opposed to anything else I've experienced online," he said.

While the Internet has arguably increased the chances of meeting potential mates, it carries its own share of heartbreak and growing complaints about false profiles, bad behavior and ill-suited matches.

A number of online daters and Internet sites are taking matters into their own hands, critiquing these services and warning their peers of the pitfalls of Web hook-ups.

Some review sites, like http://www.dateseeker.net, compare the attributes of dating services, give tips for online dating safety and recommend ways to tweak a profile for better results.

They distinguish between sites like Match.com or eHarmony, which purport to seek meaningful matches for the single gal and guy, versus more casual encounters at Lavalife or ethnically targeted sites like JDate for Jewish singles.

Reader polls on favorite dating sites can be seen at http://www.datingsitesreviews.com. A breakdown of broad and specialty sites are listed at http://datingreviewsonline.com, while personal testimonies are collected for all to read at http://www.edatereview.com.

Growing market
At least 29 million Americans, or two out of five singles, used online dating services last year, and that market is expected to keep growing over the next five years.

But amid the triumphant tales of e-mails that end in wedding bells, a growing number of online daters are voicing complaints. At eDateReview, some of the most popular match-up sites garner lukewarm ratings.

The most frequent complaints are that there are far more men online than women and a lack of protection against sexual predators or cheating lovers, said Michael Kantor, an information technology project manager in Arlington, Virginia, who runs the site.

"Men lie about their availability, whether they have a steady girlfriend or wife, and women tend to lie mostly about their looks," Kantor said.

One of 27 critiques of the site comes from a reviewer named Rich, who gives Match.com a two-star rating out of five potential stars.

"I've come to this conclusion -- there are not a whole lot of good-looking women on these dating sites," he wrote. "'Average' (in a profile) means fat, 'extra pounds' means bring a defibrillator to the date."

A reviewer identifying herself as Natalie closed her account at eHarmony after a match that didn't click, saying: "I'll take my chances on meeting my next date the conventional way."

Online dating sites say their membership rules require honest representation and prohibit harassment or abusive behavior. Some recognize that credibility problems could harm a business estimated to grow from $398 million in 2004 to $642 million within four years, according to Jupiter Research.

"We employ a lot of people that spend a lot of time reviewing the content posted on the site," said Tim Sullivan, chief executive of top dating site Match.com. "We're a brand that tends to attract people seeking a serious relationship."

Sullivan said that each month, as many as 3,000 profiles are rejected right off the bat, while another 2,000 are removed because of complaints from other members of dishonesty. A 6-person "fraud and abuse" team investigates more serious breaches.

Sullivan said that Match.com was testing a pilot program in Dallas this month offering members a chance to get a professional "certified" photo posted online, bearing a Match.com stamp with the date it was taken.

Nate Elliott, Jupiter Research's analyst of online dating, said the grievances were just a sign of how mainstream the practice has become.

"The things people do online to deceive people are the same things they do offline," Elliott said. "The point of connection is on a Web site instead of a bar or a gym."

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lakelady
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Re: The funny odds of online dating
« Reply #1 on: Jun 11^th, 2004, 10:18am »

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"Men lie about their availability, whether they have a steady girlfriend or wife, and women tend to lie mostly about their looks," Kantor said.

"I've come to this conclusion -- there are not a whole lot of good-looking women on these dating sites," he wrote. "'Average' (in a profile) means fat, 'extra pounds' means bring a defibrillator to the date."

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Rhune
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Re: The funny odds of online dating
« Reply #2 on: Jun 11^th, 2004, 11:52am »

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Yeah I laughed out loud at that part..hehehe...

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Acalithos
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Re: The funny odds of online dating
« Reply #3 on: Jun 12^th, 2004, 12:16am »

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It is very sad that people have to depend on the internet to sociallise and find a woman\man

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lakelady
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Re: The funny odds of online dating
« Reply #4 on: Jun 12^th, 2004, 3:41am »

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No DJ, it is not sad at all! Although I have participated in dating sites and come up empty handed. In recent years I have met some of my best friends on the internet. I think it is a wonderful way to socialize. I wish my father, who was a hermit, had had a computer. I think he may have lived longer. And I know many couples who met on the internet and have been happily married for years. Cool

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Acalithos
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Re: The funny odds of online dating
« Reply #5 on: Jun 12^th, 2004, 4:53am »

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yeah i guess you are right LL (then your always right)

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luci
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Re: The funny odds of online dating
« Reply #6 on: Jun 12^th, 2004, 9:33am »

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I personally know one woman who met and married on the internet and that turned out good. I also know another one who met someone on the internet and that turned out very bad for her. I would repeat her comments, but she's no longer hear to tell her story, via her internet date!

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sweetmisery
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Re: The funny odds of online dating
« Reply #7 on: Jun 12^th, 2004, 10:47am »

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Plus, it really gets people from different culture together in an easier fashion. I had a customer once who was a Filipina, and had a bf who is German and came here, all from the internet... And in chat, you get to meet lots of cool(but sometimes, uncool) people too. I met two of my gfs(now ex) online! LOL

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Rhune
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Re: The funny odds of online dating
« Reply #8 on: Jun 13^th, 2004, 9:20am »

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I met my husband on the net, we've been happily married now for going on 7 years.

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sweetmisery
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Re: The funny odds of online dating
« Reply #9 on: Jun 13^th, 2004, 12:16pm »

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Yeah, internet is a new way of living. And just like in real life, it can bring wonders as well as pains... Good for you Rhune. Hope I can be as lucky as you!

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AoM
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Re: The funny odds of online dating
« Reply #10 on: Jun 14^th, 2004, 10:56am »

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I met my first boyfriend online, we dated about 6 months and broke up, but during that time i met some of his friends, and we became close friends, now one of them has been my bf for 5 years! So i guess it wasn't all that bad an experience...

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Pau
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Re: The funny odds of online dating
« Reply #11 on: Jun 14^th, 2004, 8:34pm »

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well... maybe due to the fiber-optic barrier between each of the dater aspirants... some may misrepresent him/herself to attract good prospects... but may him/herself attract those who misrepresents as well.....

but then... I had this professor in college who was almost became an old mate... at age 40+ I think she has met her husband.. a Dutch... he came here in the Philippines to meet her parents and they had their wedding here and in Netherlands.... for each side of the family... and for the past 4 years.. they are still happily married and having a great life in Netherlands... Cheesy

I myself tried it but did not pursued 'coz I think its better to have a mate with personal attachment.. Cheesy

anyways... without the cyberworld, I won't be able to meet the wonderful people of this community... its great to be part of this cyberfamily... Grin

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Acalithos
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Re: The funny odds of online dating
« Reply #12 on: Jun 15^th, 2004, 12:56am »

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I certainly agree these forums are fun!

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BigKen250
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Re: The funny odds of online dating
« Reply #13 on: Jun 15^th, 2004, 11:59am »

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I've found that you can get to "know" a person without the barrier of pre-conceived physical attraction. You can find a like minded person with similar interests and THEN see if you like what they "look like".....which should have been a secondary determining factor to begin with......however; in our youth obsessed, fitness crazed society, it is usually the physical beauty that constrains the relationship in a "traditional" meeting.

It's pretty tough to meet such a wonderful and varied bunch of folks like those who populate this forum in a single physical location in a traditional setting....right?

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kelby
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Re: The funny odds of online dating
« Reply #14 on: Jun 15^th, 2004, 12:59pm »

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While in London I met someone and we are now getting to know eachother better online...not like dating in real life yet it is a very good tool...now if I could just meet someone in this country I'd be laughing Wink

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