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Quarterlife Crisis
« on: Nov 16th, 2004, 8:29am » |
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Great article on college grads from the Atlanta Journal-Constitution.
QUARTERLIFE CRISIS: Living off ramen noodles, driving a beat-up Honda Civic, moving back in with Mom.... For some 20-somethings, life after college doesn't match their Great Expectations
Helena Oliviero - Staff
Sunday, November 14, 2004
College diploma in hand, Penny Fauscett thought she was headed for a high-powered accounting gig, an Atlanta condo and discretionary cash for stylin' shoes.
She was stunned by the grueling, six-month job hunt.
And when Fauscett finally landed a part-time accounting job for a plastic molding company, she was miserable. Hunched over a desk and computer by herself, she realized she was not a numbers cruncher but a people person. Beyond that, she was baffled by the cost of living: grocery tabs of $70 a week; a monthly car note of $530 for her fully loaded Ford Explorer.
"I felt like a deer in headlights," said Fauscett, who was earning slightly more than $20,000 a year.
As 20-somethings leave college and graduate school, many find they are pressing the pause button on adulthood --- some by choice, some by necessity. Most are postponing marriage and kids, many are job-hopping, others are forced to move back in with their parents.
Their expectations are high --- way too high, critics say. But unlike their predecessors, who came of age in the bullish '90s, this generation is struggling with an economic slump, a tight job market and tens of thousands of dollars in school debt.
The result? Instead of a Buckhead condo with a pool and valet service, they are in a cramped one-bedroom apartment. They go from studying philosophy to making cold calls to people who end the conversation with a click. No appletinis at the it-club inside the Perimeter. And a lot of nights watching "CSI" and wondering, "Is this all there is?"
The buzzword? Quarterlife crisis.
Think of the quarterlife crisis --- popularized a few years ago by a New York Times best-selling book of the same title --- in the same terms as a midlife crisis. People going through a quarterlife or midlife crisis might have a skewed sense of reality, but their feelings of hopelessness are real.
And while a midlife crisis might result from a perceived stagnant life, a quarterlife crisis stems from a sense of being overwhelmed and underprepared for independent living.
"They are sort of in that in-between sense of being on their way to adulthood but not there yet . . . one foot in, one foot out," said Jeffrey Arnett, author of the new book "Emerging Adulthood: The Winding Road From the Late Teens Through the Twenties" (Oxford University Press, $29.95), who doesn't like the phrase but sympathizes with the reaction.
Although the trend has been gradual over the past decade, 20-somethings are grappling with societal shifts --- economy, pop culture and sexual mores --- that are redefining young adulthood:
> The average American ages 18 to 30 has held seven to eight different jobs, according to the U.S. census.
> About half of college graduates move back home after graduation, according to recent census figures.
> Half of college students graduate with college debt averaging $12,000, according to the American Council of Education.
> Nearly two-thirds of young adults in their early 20s receive economic support from their parents, while 40 percent still receive some assistance in their late 20s, according to a recent issue of Contexts, a journal published by the American Sociological Association.
And recent findings show a dramatic decline in the percentage of 20-somethings who have reached traditional benchmarks of adulthood: finishing school, leaving home, getting married, having a baby, reaching financial independence.
In 2000, 46 percent of women and 31 percent of men had reached those markers by age 30, down from 77 percent of women and 65 percent of men at the same age in 1960, according to the American Sociological Association, based on U.S. census data.
It's part of a four-decade generational change that has created a new phase of life --- the gap between adolescence and adulthood. In fact, Arnett believes a 20-something is not even a "full-fledged adult."
For many young adults, the lack of movement is maddening --- with an online support group www.quarterlifecrisis.com, receiving more than 1 million hits every month.
"So, I am 22 and live with my parents and it looks like I'm going to live with them until I'm 25 and finish law school. This really sucks. I have this constant feeling in the back of my mind that I'm a loser because I live with my parents," Lumburg of Houston writes.
"I graduated from law school in May in Texas and moved back home to Connecticut after my whole life seemed to be spiraling downward --- quickly. I met a guy my first year of school, and after 2+ years, we got engaged and then things went ka-boom! On top of all this is my constant fear that I picked the wrong profession to practice in. I liked law school, but being a lawyer really scares the heck out of me. . . . And I feel like I am completely in a state of limbo," writes Miss Jenn of Connecticut.
Disappointments
In Atlanta, standing behind a reception desk, 28-year-old Jennifer Maxwell asks herself, "Why haven't I done more with my life?" Maxwell, who works as a concierge/receptionist downtown, commutes 50 minutes from Douglasville.
On her eighth job since graduating from college, Maxwell said she can't help but be disappointed by her career development, especially when she compares her life to her media "peers."
From the exaggerated excess of MTV to the fictional world of "Friends," folks in their mid-20s live colorful lives, have exciting careers and reside in stylish apartments. Young people also want to feel their job is "an expression of themselves," according to Arnett.
Reality has proved to be much more humble.
"The media tells me I should wear designer clothes and live in a glamorous environment," Maxwell said. "Instead, most of my clothing is from the Jaclyn Smith Collection at Kmart."
Michelle Groover, 29, of Alpharetta works in customer relations for an Internet-based company. "But I am still left asking, 'Is this what I worked so hard for all these years?' It goes back to the mentality that we think we can have it all."
And 24-year-old Niji Keshinro works part time as a lifeguard at a senior center. He's sending out an average of eight resumes a week for a marketing/communications position but having no luck.
He has just applied to become a firefighter.
"You expect things to be happy," said Keshinro, a graduate of Clark Atlanta University who lives with his mother in East Point, "and then all of a sudden, you are back home trying to find your way."
Unrealistic, unprepared
Skeptics belittle the quarterlife crisis as a luxury concern of the middle and upper classes, accustomed to privilege.
And, they say, 20-somethings' malaise has more to do with the expectations they have and the choices they've made than any societal letdown.
"Sounds like mumbo jumbo to assuage a group of whiny 20-somethings who don't 'have it all' by the time they reach 25," said 30-something advice columnist April Masini of AskApril.com. "What this group needs is a reality check."
Although others are not as harsh, they do say that this generation seems to be taking longer to grow up --- and they point to indulgent baby boomer parents. Today's 25-year-olds have grown up in a time when having their own car, cellphone, computer and television is a given.
A recent survey of 2,500 people found that 67 percent of Gen Y'ers (ages 16 to 25) believe they will be rich during their lifetime, compared with 48 percent of X'ers and 36 percent of boomers, according to Yankelovich Partners, a marketing consulting firm that tracks consumer attitudes.
"I had so many friends in college who had never balanced a checkbook. Mommy and Daddy just put money in the bank," said 28-year-old Colette Petersen. "Their parents give them a car when they are 16. They give them everything. Then [the sons and daughters] leave college and they are not prepared."
Petersen credits her jobs at Wendy's and Taco Bell and having to pay her own way while studying at the University of Florida. "It made college harder, but my life now is easier," she said. She's now an insurance adjuster and comfortable in her one-bedroom Sandy Springs apartment.
She believes many of her classmates were unrealistic. "I remember my friends thinking they should make $60,000 out of college, and I would think, 'Why would you think that? You have no skills,' " Petersen said.
Still, the cultural expression of quarterlife crisis is gaining momentum. Another QLC book, "Conquering Your Quarterlife Crisis" by Alexandra Robbins (Perigee Books, $14.95), landed on bookshelves across the country in October. Musician John Mayer croons about what "might be a quarterlife crisis or just the stirring in my soul" and asks, "Am I living it right?" in his song "Why Georgia."
And the QLC-inspired movie "Garden State" is playing at theaters across the country.
"I think of it like, your teen years are your body's puberty, and your 20s are your mind's puberty," explains 29-year-old Zach Braff, who wrote, directed and starred in "Garden State."
Never been better
But Arnett, editor of the Journal of Adolescent Research, believes that while many 20-somethings are stumbling, most are doing fine.
"For those who have a college education, these are the glory days," he said. Many 20-somethings enjoy the freedom to book a flight to Paris, hang out with a posse of buddies or try a variety of jobs before settling into a career.
John Allison, a 23-year-old senior at Georgia State University who expects to graduate in December, can't wait for life after college. He is looking forward to traveling, cooking, cycling and spending time with his girlfriend. He is not dreaming about a six-figure job but instead has more modest hopes of making $25,000.
"I don't know exactly what I want to do, but I want a balance, with a regular life," he said. "I want to taste life. I want to find out what I really want in life, and I want to enjoy my freedom. I don't want to be in my mid-30s with a kid and think I didn't enjoy this period in my life."
Allison credits mentors for helping him maintain realistic goals after college.
"My mentors help me understand what to expect," he said.
Many universities are beginning to help students prepare for the transition to independence, offering seminars about 401(k) plans and credit card debt. Some even do exercises comparing the cost of living in rural Georgia with big cities.
For Fauscett, life has gotten easier as she's matured.
After a year working as an accountant, she quit and went to work for her family's business --- Garner Lumber Co. Clad in jeans and a sweater, Fauscett weighs logs, talks to customers and is in charge of the bookkeeping.
Working in a small white trailer off Buford Highway in Duluth and surrounded by 15-foot logs, Fauscett smiles as she talks about her life today.
"I love my customers, and I feel really lucky to work and spend time with my family," Fauscett said.
She got married in April, and she and her husband, Casey, are living temporarily at his grandmother's house while they look for a house of their own.
It's not the high-powered job or the intown condo or the big bucks she expected when she got her diploma two years ago, but it's a life she has grown into --- and it feels right.
"I'd like to eventually have a couple of kids," she said, "but right now I am happy because I feel like I married my best friend."
And she is starting to feel like a grown-up.
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