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   Author  Topic: God fails to save idiot in lion enclosure  (Read 886 times)
Rhune
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God fails to save idiot in lion enclosure
« on: Jun 12th, 2006, 10:01am »		 Quote Quote Modify Modify
God fails to save idiot in lion enclosure
By Chris Williams
Published Sunday 11th June 2006 07:02 GMT
 
It's bad news this week for those who were hoping some divine intervention would help humanity overcome its power-thirsty animal attackers.
 
A man in Ukraine set out to prove that the Lord would protect him when he clambered into the lion enclosure at a Kiev zoo Sunday, The St Petersburg Times reports.
 
An official at the zoo said: "The man shouted 'God will save me, if he exists', lowered himself by a rope into the enclosure, took his shoes off and went up to the lions."
 
The man got his answer when an affronted lioness grabbed him by the throat and killed him in front of horrified visitors. The official helpfully explained: "A lioness went straight for him, knocked him down and severed his carotid artery."
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Rhune
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Re: God fails to save idiot in lion enclosure
« Reply #1 on: Jun 12th, 2006, 10:01am »		 Quote Quote Modify Modify
I'm not sure there is any entity powerful enough to save an idiot from themselves...I am pretty sure in the biblical stories, the person saved by lions was an innocent who didn't put themselves there deliberately.
 
 
Makes me think of a story I read at one point:
 
 
A flood threatens a town, forcing everyone to evacuate, But Joe thinks, "I'm a devout man, God will save me," and stays put. As the waters rise, Joe's neighbor comes by and says, "Joe come with me, we've got to go." Joe declines, "I'm a devout man, God will save me."  
 
The waters keep rising, Joe scrambles to his second floor. A firefighter in a rowboat comes by. "Get in the boat or you'll drown," he says. Joe again declines, saying, "God will save me."
 
Finally , the flood waters force Joe to his roof. A police helicopter comes by and throws down a rope. "Climb up or you'll drown," the policeman yells. "No, I'm a devout man, God will save me," Joe replies.
 
Soon, Joe drowns.
 
He arrives in heaven and challenges God.  "Why didn't you help me?"
 
"What do you mean?" God says.  
 
"I did help. I sent a neighbor, a firefighter and a helicopter."
« Last Edit: Jun 12th, 2006, 10:15am by Rhune » IP Logged
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Tyler
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Re: God fails to save idiot in lion enclosure
« Reply #2 on: Jun 12th, 2006, 1:30pm »		 Quote Quote Modify Modify
What an idiot.
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Isle_be_back
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Re: God fails to save idiot in lion enclosure
« Reply #3 on: Jun 12th, 2006, 3:19pm »		 Quote Quote Modify Modify
Here's where the man went wrong...He said God will help him IF he exists.  The lions on the other hand prayed for a snack without ever doubting the existance of God. Wink
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Re: God fails to save idiot in lion enclosure
« Reply #4 on: Jun 12th, 2006, 4:41pm »		 Quote Quote Modify Modify
on Jun 12th, 2006, 3:19pm, ExIsle_be_back wrote:
Here's where the man went wrong...He said God will help him IF he exists.  The lions on the other hand prayed for a snack without ever doubting the existance of God. Wink

 
 
Exactly.. I used to have a poster in my classroom when I taught at a private Christian school.. said "Prayer is asking for rain; faith is buying an umbrella"... it's that "if" that gets you every time.. Smiley
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Re: God fails to save idiot in lion enclosure
« Reply #5 on: Jun 12th, 2006, 6:52pm »		 Quote Quote Modify Modify
Stupid man.  Roll Eyes
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Rhune
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Re: God fails to save idiot in lion enclosure
« Reply #6 on: Jun 12th, 2006, 8:06pm »		 Quote Quote Modify Modify
on Jun 12th, 2006, 3:19pm, ExIsle_be_back wrote:
Here's where the man went wrong...He said God will help him IF he exists.  The lions on the other hand prayed for a snack without ever doubting the existance of God. Wink

 
:clap:
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MK
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Re: God fails to save idiot in lion enclosure
« Reply #7 on: Jun 12th, 2006, 8:18pm »		 Quote Quote Modify Modify
What an idiot! I bet he didn't realize there was a scripture that says "You shall not put the Lord your God to the test!"
 
And Rhune is right. In the story of Daniel, the officials were jealous of how much the king favored Daniel over them. They couldn't find any way to attack Daniel because he did nothing wrong. So, they told the king to make a law that everyone should pray to him instead of God. Daniel did not agree and continued to pray to God. So they threw him in the lions den and God saved him. This is different from jumping into a lion's den and shouting "God, if you're up there, you'll save me!"
 
And yesteach, you taught a private Christian school? That's awesome, I go to a private Christian school! They're the best!  Grin
« Last Edit: Jun 12th, 2006, 8:23pm by MK » IP Logged
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Tyler
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Re: God fails to save idiot in lion enclosure
« Reply #8 on: Jun 14th, 2006, 1:19am »		 Quote Quote Modify Modify
I used too! It was weird! There we're 6 kids in a class! No lockers! ! teacher for a whole day....then the very next year you go to a school 12 times bigger with lockers, 7 teachers, and 30+ kids in a class.
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Re: God fails to save idiot in lion enclosure
« Reply #9 on: Aug 5th, 2006, 3:12am »		 Quote Quote Modify Modify
THis topic IS BAD THIS IS A HELLISH TOPIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Re: God fails to save idiot in lion enclosure
« Reply #10 on: Aug 5th, 2006, 3:13am »		 Quote Quote Modify Modify
This topic is for devils
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luci
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Re: God fails to save idiot in lion enclosure
« Reply #11 on: Aug 5th, 2006, 10:45am »		 Quote Quote Modify Modify
What the man didn't count on, was God knowing it was his time to go!
 
Oh, ye of little faith!
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Rhune
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Re: God fails to save idiot in lion enclosure
« Reply #12 on: Aug 5th, 2006, 8:29pm »		 Quote Quote Modify Modify
on Aug 5th, 2006, 3:13am, jeramie10 wrote:
This topic is for devils

 
 
Hey Jeramie, welcome to our site and please go review our rules on flaming and participation.
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Isle_be_back
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Re: God fails to save idiot in lion enclosure
« Reply #13 on: Aug 6th, 2006, 3:14am »		 Quote Quote Modify Modify
on Aug 5th, 2006, 3:13am, jeramie10 wrote:

 
 Undecided When I got out of summer school, my mommy made me go outside and play.
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Joab
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Re: God fails to save idiot in lion enclosure
« Reply #14 on: Aug 6th, 2006, 4:49pm »		 Quote Quote Modify Modify
on Jun 12th, 2006, 10:01am, Rhune wrote:
I'm not sure there is any entity powerful enough to save an idiot from themselves...I am pretty sure in the biblical stories, the person saved by lions was an innocent who didn't put themselves there deliberately.
 
 
Makes me think of a story I read at one point:
 
 
A flood threatens a town, forcing everyone to evacuate, But Joe thinks, "I'm a devout man, God will save me," and stays put. As the waters rise, Joe's neighbor comes by and says, "Joe come with me, we've got to go." Joe declines, "I'm a devout man, God will save me."  
 
The waters keep rising, Joe scrambles to his second floor. A firefighter in a rowboat comes by. "Get in the boat or you'll drown," he says. Joe again declines, saying, "God will save me."
 
Finally , the flood waters force Joe to his roof. A police helicopter comes by and throws down a rope. "Climb up or you'll drown," the policeman yells. "No, I'm a devout man, God will save me," Joe replies.
 
Soon, Joe drowns.
 
He arrives in heaven and challenges God.  "Why didn't you help me?"
 
"What do you mean?" God says.  
 
"I did help. I sent a neighbor, a firefighter and a helicopter."

 
Just read this thread and thought this story's really very interesting. Will tell my friend about it later in the day.
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