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Topic: continued health care (Read 1154 times)

east
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continued health care
« on: May 28^th, 2002, 1:43pm »

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well, it's been a while since i posted regarding my mental health but feel the need to continue to document how i am doing.

i am not depressed! Cheesy

this is a good thing folks. i am still dealing with the side effects of not being depressed. one of the biggest factors is my energy. i still don't seem to have much of it. i can go for maybe five hours strong and then i need a break from people (face to face interactions), and things (like physical exercise, including walking, running, etc.). i find this the most frustrating at present.

for example, i went to a major march on saturday (30,000 people) and then had to go home and sleep. on sunday, i went to church, then fellowship (i had helped to make the sandwiches for fellowship which is for those coming in off the street ~ for those who do not know, i volunteer at and attend a church mission for the poor) and then a meeting to debrief about the march. while i made it home after that, even this was difficult as my energy was getting low again. yesterday was the rest day though i did walk my dog down the drive to the pet food shop and for veggies.

today, i plan on painting (including calling an artist's group regarding joining), work on a proposal, (i already took out the recycling), wash the dishes, garden and apply for a few more jobs.

i seem to be moving forward from january. i guess it's not as quick as i would like or expect of myself. i am trying to learn how to let go and to be more present in the moment to allow my body/my spirit to guide me as i would rather not end up where i was in january again.

« Last Edit: May 28^th, 2002, 1:45pm by east »

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Mags
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Re: continued health care
« Reply #1 on: May 28^th, 2002, 5:00pm »

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KA... Keep on hanging in there! Grin

You are Awesome!! I am glad that you are not depressed!

Just so that you know... you are not the only one that needs a break from people.. I just Love the Peace that I feel when I get home..

Keep up the good work, and your art!

L &H Kiss

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Rhune
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Re: continued health care
« Reply #2 on: May 28^th, 2002, 9:21pm »

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I'm so happy to hear you are no longer feeling depressed. I suspect your energy will come back to you over time.

In the meantime, take breaks when you need to, it's ok to be tired of people and step back for a bit.

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GAS
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Re: continued health care
« Reply #3 on: May 29^th, 2002, 8:18am »

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KA, sounds like things are going well. The energy does take a bit of time to get back, but don't worry it will come back.

Don't worry about moving slowly from January, it's a long journey.

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MzzJoplin
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Re: continued health care
« Reply #4 on: May 29^th, 2002, 3:20pm »

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K-A ... hang in there sweetie!!

And I agree with Mags 100% ... EVERYONE needs a little break away from people/things sometimes!! So don't fret, 'cause it's natural

EastEndGirl ... voted most likely to ROCK!! Wink

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east
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Re: continued health care
« Reply #5 on: Jul 1^st, 2002, 11:22pm »

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my energy level has continued to be up and down...currently, it's down. now this might have something to do with an amazing date last night Lips Sealed

, dancing the night before and i was out that whole day, friday included government hoop jumping and value village rummaging in the evening, i got the new canvas plus a free mirror about four feet by three half circle which i will use to create something like my sun image as friends have told me that they would buy it, i got a note from my doctor saying that i am currently unfit for employment (i hate to say that the people at the ministry of human resources treated me far better than some of my street friends as i have an undergraduate degree, three quarters of a graduate degree, have made far more money, etc...blah, blah, blah...does this make me any better than someone who has not had the opportunities i have had? i think not.), provided emotional care/counseling for my roomie over the last week....

i still have loads to learn about moderation...i think i also need another b-12 shot tomorrow from my doctor. changways begins tomorrow for me too ~ the mood disorder clinic which is operated by the hospital and university which takes people through all the ways depression influences emotions, reactions, actions, behaviour, etc. i was waitlisted two weeks ago but my doctor must have called and got me in! she's a peach! Tongue

i feel really really blessed to have such an amazing doctor!

anyway, that's me...the weary one at the moment, Wink

k-a

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crypto
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Re: continued health care
« Reply #6 on: Jul 2^nd, 2002, 9:23am »

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Hang in there K-A....your doing great!! :clap:

Healing takes time. You might try some foods high in protein to help with the energy. Just a thought, but I'm not doctor. Maybe ask your doctor, if some foods might help with your energy level.

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east
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Re: continued health care
« Reply #7 on: Jul 2^nd, 2002, 1:38pm »

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thanks crypto!

i have been doing just that...red meat, turkey, lamb (poor babies), etc. today i need to get another b-12 shot too!

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Kramer
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Re: continued health care
« Reply #8 on: Jul 3^rd, 2002, 7:41am »

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eeg,

glad to hear that you are doing better with the depression. As everyone has said (and as you are obviously doing) hang in there with your decreased energy level. And not to give you a swollen head or anything, but I got kinda tired from reading all of the activities that you do! LOL! You may not feel like you do a lot,but when you put it all down in writing, YOU DO!

I, too, suffer from continuous low energy and I completely understand your frustration about having to all of a sudden go take a nap, not having the strength to clean the house, etc. All I can say is that no one ever died from a dirty house, so it gets cleaned when I feel up to it Wink

Also, I think the B12 shots are a great idea. I might just try that as well (thanks!). I find that I always feel better when I take a B multi vitamin. I feel less stressed out and my energy level is much higher.

I think there are probably more people out there with this chronic fatigue syndrome then you or I fully realize. Its frustrating because I WANT to participate in a lot of things, but sometimes just dont have the energy to participate. Often times, I feel like certain things (work, for one) suck the very life right out of me. I even live on a dead end street with only one neighbor because I don't have the energy to deal with the neighbors (LOL).

But, overall, life is good and when I do have the energy to participate in activities, I usually fully enjoy myself.

You don't be so hard on yourself, you are doing great!
You are not alone and while things may be more of a struggle (physically and emotionally) you are a strong person with tremendous willpower and your going to be just fine Tongue

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east
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Re: continued health care
« Reply #9 on: Jul 3^rd, 2002, 2:33pm »

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you are so sweet kramer...thank you for your kind words. i honestly think and know that i cannot see myself clearly thanks to the depression. while this saddens me deeply that my brain works this way, i am grately for that i slowly beginning to see it. i know this sounds off balanced but hey, so am i! Wink

last night at changeways, we learnt that of the behaviour/thought/emotion triangle, behaviour is the easiest to change and affect the other two. i am starting to see this...doing something though i feel exhausted...not doing too much, as you have all noticed, i seem to have two switches ~ on and off. one of my goals at changeways will be to not overdo (i have a lifelong history of overdoing and then doing nothing as a result of that...crazy. so much to learn...

« Last Edit: Jul 3^rd, 2002, 2:33pm by east »

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east
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Re: continued health care
« Reply #10 on: Jul 12^th, 2002, 11:10am »

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i am a wee bit thrilled as i was up prior to 8 am this morning. i just made an appointment to see my doctor this afternoon. i hope to paint today, do a wee bit of gardening, vacuum and complete some paperwork. while fri, sat, sun and mon were quite difficult for me, my mood seems to have lifted enough to paint (yes, finally after a month!), get out of my bed clothes and off the couch! i need to practice balance though today...this has always been difficult for me...to not take on too much when i feel good...

so here it goes...no enormous MUST do list...now to put this into practice... Roll Eyes

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Mzz_Joplin
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Re: continued health care
« Reply #11 on: Jul 12^th, 2002, 6:13pm »

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Just wondering how your day ended up turning out ...
Hope it went well ...

:love:

You keep hangin' in there sweetie! :love:

Thai

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east
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Re: continued health care
« Reply #12 on: Jul 21^st, 2002, 12:57pm »

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i wonder if i have already mentioned this...i have been diagnosed with a major chronic depression.

i still struggle with the feeling that i am faking. i spoke to one of the psychologists at changeways who said "who would fake not feeling good?".

i was lying in bed this morning with a migraine thinking about how difficult depression makes the most simple tasks ~ like just being around people. i thought about those feelings of being judged, not fitting in, not being good enough which i ran with constantly before doing anything and how hard it was to just get anywhere...then when i arrived, i was so caught up in that, i couldn't just be present. ballet was hell! i could never do any of the moves because i was so in my head. my ballet teacher joked that i should never be allowed to drive as i was so uncoordinated! :confused:

this week, i have been working on changing my behaviour which seems to be working. i have walked the dogs, finshed a painting, cleaned the kitchen, the bathroom, etc., but still felt guilty for not doing more. like being able to work...massive guilt about this one. i feel guilty about walking the doggies! just amitting these things feels strange... :freak:

i will possible never be able to work full-time. i seem to be in the process of re-inventing my life plan. this is hard.

anyway, this is part one...my barin hurts now... :dizzy: