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Metropolis Reality Forums Ť Nominees for Moron of the Year ť

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   Nominees for Moron of the Year

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Topic: Nominees for Moron of the Year (Read 283 times)

Bumper
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Nominees for Moron of the Year
« on: Jan 20^th, 2003, 1:07pm »

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TOP EIGHT MORONS OF THE YEAR

1. WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP?

AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked

Intellectual leadership. He received a $26 million severance package.

Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence.

2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS:

Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to subdue a

gunman, >who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas

canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them in the

police line, shouting "Please ... Come out and give yourself up."

3. WHAT WAS PLAN B Huh

An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and forced

him to drive to two different automated teller machines, where the

kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts.

4. THE GETAWAY!

A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Stop, and asked for all the money

in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the

store clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until police showed up and grabbed him.

5. DID I SAY THAT Huh

Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn't

control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words "Give me all your money or I'll shoot", the man shouted, "That's not what I said!"

6. ARE WE COMMUNICATING??

A man spoke frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!" "Is this her first child?" the doctor asked. "No!", the man shouted, "This is her husband!".

7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED!!

In Modesto, California, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun, but unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket. (hellllllooooooo!)

8. AND THE GRAND FINALE.................

Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour east of Bakersfield, California, some folks, new to boating, were having problems. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get their brand new 22 ft going properly. It was very sluggish in almost every maneuver, no matter how much power was applied. After about an hour of trying to make it go, they putted to a nearby marina, thinking someone there could tell them what was wrong. A thorough topside check revealed everything in perfect working condition. The engine ran fine, the outdrive went up and down, the prop was the correct size and pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped into the water to check underneath, he came up choking on water, because he was laughing so hard.

NOW REMEMBER. THIS IS TRUE.

Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was . . . . .the trailer

« Last Edit: Jan 20^th, 2003, 1:09pm by Bumper »

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east
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Re: Nominees for Moron of the Year
« Reply #1 on: Jan 20^th, 2003, 2:04pm »

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« Last Edit: Jan 20^th, 2003, 2:35pm by east »

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read, study, reflect, write, read, study, reflect, spell check, write

chickmama
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Re: Nominees for Moron of the Year
« Reply #2 on: Jan 20^th, 2003, 3:38pm »

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HEhehe, not what I was expecting, but good; very good!

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MzWings
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Re: Nominees for Moron of the Year
« Reply #3 on: Jan 22^nd, 2003, 8:30am »

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.....*coffee spewing from nose* :rofl:

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LibertyBelle
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Re: Nominees for Moron of the Year
« Reply #4 on: Jan 22^nd, 2003, 4:46pm »

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for da Bump :cop:

you're full of em. Grin

That last one made my day. :rofl:

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Bumper
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Re: Nominees for Moron of the Year
« Reply #5 on: Jan 24^th, 2003, 5:24pm »

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(This unfortunate individual may qualify for a posthumous nomination)

Man Fatally Shot While Beating Dog With Shotgun
Police: Weapon Must Have Discharged As Man Beat His Shar-Pei

WINCHESTER, Va. -- A man was shot fatally while trying to beat his dog to death with a shotgun, according to the Winchester PD.
Police say the man called his wife at work Thursday and told her that their dog had bitten him and he intended to kill it.

The wife returned to the home and found him covered with dog bites and suffering from a shotgun wound to his abdomen. He died later at Winchester Medical Center.

Police say the shotgun must have gone off while the husband was using it to beat the 30-pound Shar-Pei. The stock of the weapon was broken and there appeared to be blood and dog hair on it.

A Winchester animal control officer took custody of the dog. There is no word on how badly it was injured.

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chickmama
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Re: Nominees for Moron of the Year
« Reply #6 on: Jan 25^th, 2003, 5:40pm »

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As an animal lover, I commend the dog! Hehehe, justice is served!

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