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   Chickens!

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Topic: Chickens! (Read 252 times)

Rhune
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Chickens!
« on: Mar 26^th, 2003, 5:41pm »

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WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

GEORGE W. BUSH
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or it is against us. There is no middle ground here.

AL GORE
I invented the chicken. I invented the road. Therefore, the chicken crossing the road represented the application of these two different functions of government in a new, reinvented way designed to bring greater services to the American people.

RALPH NADER
The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road had been polluted by unchecked industrialist greed. The chicken did not reach the unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.

PAT BUCHANAN
To steal a job from a decent, hard-working American.

RUSH LIMBAUGH
I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was getting a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet someone out there is already forming a support group to help chickens with crossing-the-road syndrome. How much more of this can real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by their tax dollars, and when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about your money,money the government took from you to build roads for chickens to cross. Can you believe this?

JERRY FALWELL
Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side." That's what they call it-the other side. Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you
will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens 'til we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side."

DR. SEUSS
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, But why it crossed, I've not been told!

ERNEST HEMINGWAY
To die. In the rain. Alone.

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

GRANDPA
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

BARBARA WALTERS
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting and went on to accomplish its life-long dream of crossing the road.

JOHN LENNON
Imagine all the chickens, crossing roads in peace.

ARISTOTLE
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

KARL MARX
It was a historical inevitability.

SADDAM HUSSEIN
Crossing the road was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in
dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

VOLTAIRE
I may not agree with what the chicken did, but I will defend to the death its right to do it.

RONALD REAGAN
What chicken?

CAPTAIN KIRK
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

FOX MULDER
You saw it cross the road with your own eyes! How many more chickens
have to cross before you believe it?

SIGMUND FREUD
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

BILL GATES
I have just released eChicken 2003, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook- and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.

MARTHA STEWART
No one called to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the farmer's market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

ALBERT EINSTEIN
Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken, please?

COLONEL SANDERS
I missed one?

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chickmama
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Eat more Chicken

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Posts: 1159

Re: Chickens!
« Reply #1 on: Mar 28^th, 2003, 8:29am »

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Hahaha, darn I need to put a pict. in here! This week, I really hate all chickens, Ijust hope the one that tries to cross the road get's smacked by a really BIG truck!

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luci
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Re: Chickens!
« Reply #2 on: Mar 28^th, 2003, 5:38pm »

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I CAN THINK OF NOTHING TO ADD, OTHER THAN, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

WHEN i WAS A SMALL GIRL, MAYBE 4-5, WE HAD CHICKENS. I COULDN'T EVEN GO BAREFOOT OUTSIDE, FOR YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED! It was wartime and we needed eggs and dinner. WE HAD A ROOSTER THAT CHASED ME WHEN I WANTED TO PLAY, HE ENDED UP ON THE SUNDAY PLATTER!!!

I HATE CHICKENS!!!!......sure wish I could add that evil laugh in here!!! Roll Eyes

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"A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and
can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words."

Addams
You Bet Your ASS Team
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Posts: 5398

Re: Chickens!
« Reply #3 on: Mar 28^th, 2003, 9:12pm »

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:laff :laff :laff This was great - thanks for it.

I see that CM is into the Ralph Nader approach.

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chickmama
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Eat more Chicken

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Posts: 1159

Re: Chickens!
« Reply #4 on: Mar 29^th, 2003, 1:55pm »

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Just 5 more days and my chickens will be showing up on your grocery store shelves. Thank Goodness! Did I mention that I am really hating all chickens this week? Wink