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   Moms and dads...here's a question for you....

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Topic: Moms and dads...here's a question for you.... (Read 212 times)

MzWings
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Moms and dads...here's a question for you....
« on: Aug 27^th, 2003, 6:22pm »

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I stole this idea for a thread at another site...

Whether you have 'tweens, teens or adult children - do you look at them and still see them as babies? Do you wax nostalgic about how they were as babies? Does this make you feel mature or just plain old? Have you ever wished you could go back in time and re-parent them?

Here was my answer:

Well, I AM old so there's no use in discussing it - eh?

LL - what a cool idea for a thread.

No - I don't look at my grown children (36 and 37) and still picture/think of them as my babies. They will always always be my children though.

But now that I have a 14-mo grandson, I realize how much I didn't know when I was a new mom. Actually, I'm a much better grandma than (I was as) a mom. And I realize how important it is that I'm around my daughter during her time as a new mom. There have been times my little Quinn has amazed the britches off me - times when I've gone to my daughter to tell her what he just did, in tears. She always asks - "did I do *....* at that age?"

When my son arrives here on 9/11, I'm planning to have our pix taken professionally. Then I'll have some great pictures in my lvrm to look at, and privately remember Deborah and Steven when they where little Quinn's age.

« Last Edit: Aug 28^th, 2003, 8:39am by MzWings »

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azure
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Re: Got a question for our moms and dads?
« Reply #1 on: Aug 28^th, 2003, 7:35am »

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alright here is a question

if you child refuses dinner, how long do you let him or her hold out? Do you ever offer an alternative. Mind you I do not make him eat anything I know he outright hates, like salad for example. He will eat all vegatables except salad type ones. I mean the meals he just decides on a whim he is not eating, what do you seasoned parents suggest?

oh I should point out, I am referring to one of my boys I care for and according to the state, even though a meal is offered to him, I legally need to be sure he is offered a meal to his liking. However I refuse to let him change his tastebuds daily, lol

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Sheisback
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Re: Got a question for our moms and dads?
« Reply #2 on: Aug 28^th, 2003, 8:38am »

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I dont know how to deal with teens/pre-adults..but heres what I do with a 4 y o who doesnt know how to work a microwave oven to reheat pizza...yet.

When she refuses to eat something she usually likes, I never argue. I let her off the table and when she comes to me an hour after asking for deserts or snack, I tell her that I will re heat the meal she should have had before, and then once shes done eating it she can have her desert. It works just fine for us. We have to go through that every once in a while, usually when she knows there is a desert she really likes in the house, she thinks that is she skips the meal she can have more desert. Roll Eyes

We tried other solutions, like "if you dont eat that you arent going to be allowed to watch tv tonight" and it always end up in a big argument and lots of tears and next thing you know shes watching tv, eating a cookie (she knows where the cookies are Roll Eyes

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When I was a teen, I was a very picky eater and my mother gave up one day, but with certain rules. If I did not want the meal she had cooked for me, I was allowed to make myself one, as long as there was proteins in it and at least one kind of vegetables, AND I had to clean every utensils and plates I had used for cooking my meal.

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MzWings
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Re: Moms and dads...here's a question for you....
« Reply #3 on: Aug 28^th, 2003, 8:41am »

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Oh dear! I'm afraid I didn't word the title of this thread very well - so I've re-titled it. Lips Sealed

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david
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Re: Moms and dads...here's a question for you....
« Reply #4 on: Aug 28^th, 2003, 10:54am »

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Oldest turns 13 today and I find myself NOT accepting the fact he is at a turning point moving from child to young man! Fortunatly I see this and am making the needed adjustments in my attitude toward him so I can accept the fact he isnt a baby anymore!

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Re: Moms and dads...here's a question for you....
« Reply #5 on: Aug 28^th, 2003, 11:24am »

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I have a 5 year old and I do exactly like SIB and she does try to do exactly the same things that SIB's daughter does. Not surprising given their closeness in age.

If she's not hungry I sometimes ask that she remain at the table to be part of our family - this is if the whole family is eating together. She sometimes tries to run off and watch TV and I don't permit this. If it's to play with her friends then I would be more likely to allow her to be excused from the table.

If she later says she's hungry then she is offered her dinner from earlier in the evening. We leave it on the table until she gets into bed. Sometimes it's cold. If she wants me to I warm it up but usually she will just eat it as is.

If she wants a desert that is not healthy then she must demonstrate to me that she has eaten good vegetables and/or fruits at are high in nutrition and fibre (I don't use those words with her - I just say you have to eat 5 pieces of broccoli or pear or something like that. ) I aim for a balance. She has to drink a kid size glass of her milk (she drinks all soya and rice based milks - no cows milk).

Hmmm this is becoming an epistle.

My 5 year old I continue to remember as a baby and as she was at all ages. I love the memories. But I treat her and interact with her in age appropriate ways - at least I try my best.

Congratualtions David on having a teenager in the house. I hope your family has a lovely day of celebrations.

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Sheisback
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Re: Moms and dads...here's a question for you....
« Reply #6 on: Aug 28^th, 2003, 11:55am »

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To answers Wingsie's question...

I dont refer to my daughter as "my baby". I think I never did. Shes is my daughter, or Mimi. Yes it makes me feel old when I think of how fast time flies...
As for the re-parenting part.. I'll have to get back at you in a couple of years. Wink

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Re: Moms and dads...here's a question for you....
« Reply #7 on: Aug 28^th, 2003, 12:01pm »

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yes but I will always think of her as sweet little D. They were really just babies when we first met weren't they She?

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azure
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Re: Moms and dads...here's a question for you....
« Reply #8 on: Aug 28^th, 2003, 12:29pm »

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I am 36 friggen years old my mother still refers to me as "the baby" Undecided

oh and wingsy sorry I misread your thread, didnt mean to go off topic

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darnchts
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Re: Moms and dads...here's a question for you....
« Reply #9 on: Aug 28^th, 2003, 4:23pm »

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well Azure, I'm 35 and I used to feel the same way but now i feel pretty special to be the "baby". I know you don't like country music but Blake Shelton does an awesome song called "The Baby". It isn't so bad being the baby when you are older....

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