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   My mother is in the hospital.....

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Topic: My mother is in the hospital..... (Read 959 times)

MzWings
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My mother is in the hospital.....
« on: Nov 29^th, 2003, 4:30pm »

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(Long read ahead Roll Eyes

)

She's complained so much about so many things - none of which appeared to be one to another. Her heart is about to jump out of her chest; she's dizzy; her back hurts; she shouldn't be on all these meds; her legs hurt and twitch; her feet hurt, swell and turn blue. On and on!

One night a couple of weeks ago, she started back on why she shouldn't be taking DADDY'S meds. The doctors have his ailments mixed up with hers. Finally a couple of weeks ago and out of deperation (on my part), I told her to throw the damned meds in the trash, don't go to anymore doc appts and cancel her nurse/caregiver - Patti. She said she wished she could. I asked her why she thought she couldn't. She said "what if something happened?" I asked her ".....like what, Mama?" She responded with "what if I died?" I told her she wouldn't have to take the damned meds anymore. We laughed.......

So last week she had a new appt with a new doctor. They ran all kinds of non-evasive tests - with the exception of drawing blood. They did an ultrasound to determine if there was some sort of arterial blockage; xrays showed a lot of osteporsis (probably causing pain).

Four hours later back in the doc's office, he told mama he wanted to get her on a beta-blocker immediately (Coreg, specifically). She has COPD (Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease) and CHF (Congestive heart failure is an imbalance in pump function in which the heart fails to maintain the circulation of blood adequately. The most severe manifestation of CHF, pulmonary edema, develops when this imbalance causes an increase in lung fluid.)

Last night at 10:30PM, I rec'd a call from the director where she is. Mama had pulled the "panic" cord. This in turn is met with an immediate 911 call. The lady got into Mama's room immediately and said she was in awful pain and her heart was racing. She was told an ambulance was on the way. Mama hit the ceiling and even when Patti arrived, continued to refuse hospital.

When I called they gave the phone to her and bleep bleep bleep - is what I got. "You rotten lousy piece of s*** for a daughter - how dare you call an ambulance on me." I'm like Huh

She then threw the phone on the floor and stomped back to her bed.

'Scuse me? She was so ill she could throw down the receiver and "stomp" across the floor?

This morning Patti called me to say Mama now wanted to go to hospital - ambulance was on the way. She had a good sleep though, but when she got up and had a little breakfast, ect., the fast heart pounding began again.

Patti called me several times today and just this minute to confirm she was indeed admitted. Mama wanted Patti to stay overnight with her at the hospital. This isn't possible - Patti has a family and obligations to other patients.

Also she was told by the docs at the hospital that if she continued to disregard instructions they were giving her she would probably end up at a nursing home. Uh....that's a possibility.

So now, I'll have to make a couple of phone calls to her bro and sis.

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LibertyBelle
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Re: My mother is in the hospital.....
« Reply #1 on: Nov 29^th, 2003, 4:35pm »

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(((Hugs Wingsy)))

I know this is rough on you. Undecided

Hang in there!

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Rhune
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Re: My mother is in the hospital.....
« Reply #2 on: Nov 29^th, 2003, 5:45pm »

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You're a good daughter wings, and don't let anyone else including your mother tell you differently. YOU did the right thing.

:hug:

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azure
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Re: My mother is in the hospital.....
« Reply #3 on: Nov 29^th, 2003, 6:51pm »

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hang in there wings! Others are right, you ARE a good daughter

as far as the long read, never too long if it helps the writer feel better expressing it

Cheesy

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east
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Re: My mother is in the hospital.....
« Reply #4 on: Nov 29^th, 2003, 11:40pm »

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what made her think you called 911 when she was the one to pull the panic cord? oh dear. wingsy, i just want you to know that you are one incredible special lovable and loving person no matter what 'mommy dearest' says.

we so love you! Kiss

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QuantumT
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Re: My mother is in the hospital.....
« Reply #5 on: Nov 30^th, 2003, 5:18am »

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Wingsy,

Of course you did the right thing and you are a great daughter!

:grouphug:

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luci
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Re: My mother is in the hospital.....
« Reply #6 on: Nov 30^th, 2003, 9:08am »

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Wingsy, hang in there, don't let her make you "lose it!" If she can pull the panic cord, she can blame herself for the 911 call! You know in this case when she blames you for things you did not do, just say, "Mother, I love you " and hang up the phone. I know this is a difficult time for you but you also know that I've been through the same type of things with my Mom as well.

When they complain so much, it does make us not know what is really wrong or if anything is at all. That's what the doctor is for, so don't let her get to you.

You've done what was best to keep your own sanity.
Stay there with your daughter and her family and take care of yourself and them. Your Mother has lived her life. I don't mean to sound heartless but I know where youre coming from and you know I've been there as well.

Luckily, there is an angel on our shoulder with my Mom living here with us. FINALLY, I can do no wrong!
NEITHER ARE YOU, Stick to your plan! Kiss

You do have stong support and we are saying prayers for you as you deal with this one more time! :angel:

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david
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Re: My mother is in the hospital.....
« Reply #7 on: Nov 30^th, 2003, 9:29am »

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Your one wonderful Daughter MZ Kiss

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MzWings
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Re: My mother is in the hospital.....
« Reply #8 on: Nov 30^th, 2003, 9:33am »

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on Nov 29^th, 2003, 11:40pm, eastendgirl wrote:

what made her think you called 911 when she was the one to pull the panic cord? oh dear. wingsy, i just want you to know that you are one incredible special lovable and loving person no matter what 'mommy dearest' says.

we so love you! Kiss

Thanks everyone for your wonderful and loving responses!

K-A - The only thing I can think is that she didn't realize how seriously her establishment takes it when a resident is complaining of back pain, rapid heartbeat and problems catching one's breath - all are symptoms of a possible heart attack.

I think I left out one important fact that when Mama pulled the panic line, the person on duty immediately called Mama who relayed her symptoms. That's when 911 was called and the response time was 3:32 mins. Talk about being on the ball.

At this point, I haven't called her at the hospital. There were more tests to run so I knew better to call and interrupt the flow. Plus, she would have become more upset and beligerent just hearing my voice. That's just my mother's way.

I feel sorry for her that she's this way. She can take the simplest of situations and twist it into something so vile and negative, it doesn't resemble anything as was intended. How she imagined I called 911 "on her" at 10:30PM from Winnipeg is beyond me - but that's just one example of what why I call her MommyDearest.

In the meantime, all I can do for her is pray she can somehow find peace in her heart and mind for the rest of her stay on this earth. She's been having vivid dreams these last few weeks where she's scared and calling for her "Papa". She told me she's woken up crying. She's tortured further because she expects Papa to be there when she awakens. Then she realizes it was only a dream.

She so afraid of everything - always has been. All this reminds me of a couple of lines from "Old Man River"...

I'm so weary, and sick of tryin',
I'm tired of livin', but afraid of dyin'.

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"Senility Prayer"...God grant me...
The senility to forget the people I never liked
The good fortune to run into the ones that I do
And the eyesight to tell the difference."

luci
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Re: My mother is in the hospital.....
« Reply #9 on: Nov 30^th, 2003, 10:05am »

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Wingsy, she also could have a severe caseof ACID REFLUX. Four years ago, Mr L rushed me to the doctor and then the doctor excorted us to the emergency room, for the EKG showed a very rapid heartbeat. After 3 days and many tests, I was diagnosed with severe acid reflux, also told that if I am not a heart attack candidate. So I take my aicd reflux pill before I have dinner each evening. Very simple to cure.

Maybe this is her problem, maybe something more severe since she is 80+.
Also at this age, they do get very scared of everything. If I walk up behind my Mom, she jumps. This was not her typical behavior for she would have fought a bear, not be scared of it! Mother even thought she saw a snake at our front window, NOT! If a snake were ever in our area, it would be one that some nut put here! Reptiles and varmints are a thing of the past in this part of our world!

Good luck with your Mother to you. I agree with you, just don't call for she will really get the heart rate going if you do. So when damned if you do and damned if you don't, just "DON"T", then you won't be upset either. Kiss

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Addams
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Re: My mother is in the hospital.....
« Reply #10 on: Nov 30^th, 2003, 7:46pm »

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Wings I am keeping you, your mom and her doctors and medical staff all in my prayers for a good resolution. Tongue

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MzWings
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Re: My mother is in the hospital.....
« Reply #11 on: Nov 30^th, 2003, 8:05pm »

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If only acid reflux was the problem - though after what Daddy went though - it can be quite severe, his was.

Mama's heart rate is down some. They have her on oxygen and heart monitor.

They believed she is bleeding inside so they ran her through another battery of tests today - upper and lower GI. And she rec'd one unit of whole blood. Fact is, Mama occasionally needs a transfusion because of anemia.

This "galloping like a horse" heartbeat is nothing new to us. My grandma, Mama, me and a couple of times my daughter have had this. Mine started at age 14 or 15. It's an odd feeling and when the heart stabilzes, it skips a beat, giving one a choking light headed feeling.

So in the meantime (I think I've mentioned this) she was started on beta blockers and today is the 4th day. It takes from 7 to 10 days to kick in.

I still haven't called Mama and Pattie called me just this morning only. She must be exhausted.

So that's all I know and it's a waiting game to see what develops next.

Thanks for all the love you've shown. Tongue

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"Senility Prayer"...God grant me...
The senility to forget the people I never liked
The good fortune to run into the ones that I do
And the eyesight to tell the difference."

MzWings
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Re: My mother is in the hospital.....
« Reply #12 on: Nov 30^th, 2003, 8:06pm »

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on Nov 30^th, 2003, 7:46pm, addams wrote:

Wings I am keeping you, your mom and her doctors and medical staff all in my prayers for a good resolution. Tongue

And the same to you for your dad, Rhune's babyboy, luci's mom and all the rest....as well as anyone I've missed.

Tongue

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"Senility Prayer"...God grant me...
The senility to forget the people I never liked
The good fortune to run into the ones that I do
And the eyesight to tell the difference."

Irishlass
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Re: My mother is in the hospital.....
« Reply #13 on: Nov 30^th, 2003, 9:27pm »

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Wings, I read this yesterday but didn't have the time to post. You and your Mom are in my prayers. I'm sorry this is happening again and I hope they find the problem soon and can help her. In the mean time, remember you are a wonderful daughter and you are doing what you have to for her and for you. Your mom is in good hands and you have made sure she is well taken care of. I know what you are going through because I am dealing with major problems with my elderly parents right now too. I know how emotionally draining this whole thing is and I wish I could give you a big ole' hug right now.................I could use one too.
Hang in there Sweetie.

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chickmama
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Re: My mother is in the hospital.....
« Reply #14 on: Nov 30^th, 2003, 11:28pm »

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Hi Wings, I'm sorry your mom's putting you through this stress. I'm wondering if Deb, or Steve might be able to ask as buffer between your mother and yourself. Does she act this way towards them? Would she put stress on Deb? It would sure help you alot for someone to explain to her that you only want what's best for her. Of course, it would probably take a time or ten for her to actually hear them. I hope things get better.
Love ya. Tongue

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