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Metropolis Reality Forums « Engaged: Help! :D »

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   Author  Topic: Engaged: Help! :D  (Read 578 times)
Rachel
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Engaged: Help! :D
« on: Jan 26th, 2004, 7:16pm »
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OK, luci gave me the brilliant idea of starting a thread to a) announce my engagement to the most wonderful man on the face of the earth (Jon, I love you  :love: ), and b) to ask for any advice you who are already married can give me! So lay it on me! HELP! Smiley
« Last Edit: Jan 26th, 2004, 7:17pm by Rachel » IP Logged

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MzWings
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Re: Engaged: Help! :D
« Reply #1 on: Jan 26th, 2004, 7:37pm »
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Well - congrats to rachael and Jon.  
 
Questions backatcha:
 
When
Where
Church
Reception
Budget
 
That's just for starters.  Just remember though - that when things and stuff start getting rough (and they will), just try to remember what brought you to this step in the first place:  the love between one another.
 
We're here in anyway we can help.   Kiss
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Sheisback
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Re: Engaged: Help! :D
« Reply #2 on: Jan 26th, 2004, 7:41pm »
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Congrats !!!  Cool Cool Cool
 
Advices...hmmmm, there would be so many! My favorite, comes from a movie, but I am sorry I dont recall which movie.
"Shoes. Wear comfortable shoes."  This sounds so simple it almost sounds stupid, but on the wedding day, you want to wear good shoes, I know it. Wink
 
Maybe you could be more specific, what kind of advices you would like to have? On what topic? The in-laws? The wedding day? Whether to have a dog or a cat? So many.....
 Grin
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Rachel
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Re: Engaged: Help! :D
« Reply #3 on: Jan 26th, 2004, 8:13pm »
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Well, we want to have an August wedding, outdoors, but we don't know the exact date yet. I have had my wedding dress picked out since I was 17, so that's a non-issue. Reception could be a problem. We both want it at the country club, but price is a problem. Inlaws, not a problem. My dad loves him, his parents love me. Dog... always go with the dog. Lady is my dog (she's a boxer), and she's not going anywhere lol.  
 
Pretty much, wedding plans won't be a huge issue, we know where we're registering, and all that. But I'll take advice on EVERYTHING! Whether you have wedding plans that are good, or just future marraige advice for Jon and I. I'll take anything I can get!
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Re: Engaged: Help! :D
« Reply #4 on: Jan 26th, 2004, 8:38pm »
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Congrats Rachel but Pilar say I was most wonderful so maybe he is my long lost brother  :laff: All kidding aside I wish all the joy I have in my life with Pilar and dont get married during any episode of Alias! lol
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Re: Engaged: Help! :D
« Reply #5 on: Jan 26th, 2004, 9:22pm »
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Congratulations!
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chickmama
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Re: Engaged: Help! :D
« Reply #6 on: Jan 26th, 2004, 10:31pm »
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My advice is....if you can afford to have your reception catered, do so.  If you can't.....ask someone other than your family to help you.  You adn your close friends and family will be so busy that getting the reception ready will almost kill you, plus they will end up in the kitchen; instead of participating in the activities.  Close friends of your parents are great people to ask for help.
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jetgirl
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Re: Engaged: Help! :D
« Reply #7 on: Jan 27th, 2004, 10:00am »
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Congratulations!
 
If you can't include a wedding coordinator in your budget, ask a friend or family member to help out on your wedding day. Also ask them to attend the rehearsal so they are familliar with the ceremony & where people need to be.  
 
If you don't have a person designated as the 'go-to' person, then all your vendors will be bugging you, your immediate family or bridal party about where your flowers should go after the ceremony & whether or not you've brought your own serving-ware for cutting the cake, etc.  
 
Either supply the selected person with a special colored corsage or in some other way indicate they're the person wth the answers. This designated go-to person could be invited to the rehearsal dinner as well for a big "Thanks".
 
I am a event & video producer & tend to be a, well, let's just say that I have at times been considered a control freak. At my wedding tho, I could have definitely benefited from having someone else know all the details rather than bothering me, my matron of honor or my mom.  
 
Have a great time. It goes too fast.
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Re: Engaged: Help! :D
« Reply #8 on: Jan 27th, 2004, 12:19pm »
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Jetgirl makes a good point.  Having someone else deal with any little issues that arise on the wedding day is a great idea.  It's just not the bride or groom (or their family's) day to deal with that stuff unless absolutely necessary.  
 
This is so exciting.  A wedding on our boards.
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chickmama
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Re: Engaged: Help! :D
« Reply #9 on: Jan 27th, 2004, 12:25pm »
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I was watching A Wedding Story on TLC this morning, and the Bride wore the cutest sneakers!  They were sort of an ivory color...I think, and they were decorated with Beads and lace.  Great idea!  They almost looked like fancy ballerina slippers.
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luci
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Re: Engaged: Help! :D
« Reply #10 on: Jan 27th, 2004, 12:42pm »
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INfo-  I was Mother of the Bride two times and Mother of the Groom three times.  Helping to plan and get all the details in order, down to the last one with the girls was so much fun.  Do you live where your Mom is close enough to help out, or do you have an aunt, sister or cousin,  that would do these things for you?  When the sons married, I was very comfortable to let the Bride's family deal with all the issues of planning a wedding and just have fun at the reception and dance with my husband.
I've always heard a Groom's Mom is to wear beige and keep her mouth shut!  Grin  Well, I didn't wear beige!  Not a good color for me!
 
As for the food, don't sweat it, unless you live in an area where you have sit down dinners.  As one lady in the wedding business said to me, "when the food runs out, throw your bouquet and leave!"
Good advice.
 
As for after the wedding and honeymoon is over, you come back home and it seems so quiet, no fuss and fanfare to deal with!  Time for normal living, so here is my advice; have a date day each week.  
 
We took this advice from our minister and have done this for all these years.  Don't let the romance die, keep doing little thoughtful things for each other the fire will still be burning in years to come.
 
And I will add this, it is impossible for you or he to keep on going out with single friends on a constant basis.  You will be in a different world after you marry.  This has only led to problems for the people I know.  He goes out with the guys, you don't like it.  You go out with the girls, he doesn't like it.  There are exceptions and time to be with friends, just pay attention to how much attention the single friends are getting.
 
Ok, 'nough of this, have fun and have a great life!
 
Make sure you have a good videographer and photographer!
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jetgirl
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Re: Engaged: Help! :D
« Reply #11 on: Jan 27th, 2004, 3:06pm »
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Oh one other thing I forgot to mention....
 
At some point after your ceremony, try to take a few private minutes with your groom to just stop & let everything sink in. It seems that sometimes a wedding day turns into a whirlwind of activity & you'll be happy that you stopped for a moment to, look around, take in the sights & sounds & remember that moment in time.  
 
Good Luck!
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east
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Re: Engaged: Help! :D
« Reply #12 on: Jan 27th, 2004, 3:37pm »
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congrats ae!  i am so excited for you.  i have no first hand advice.  i just hope for you and the groom to have fun, gets loads of sleep before and don't let petty disagreements spoil your day.
 
 Kiss
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Sheisback
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Re: Engaged: Help! :D
« Reply #13 on: Jan 27th, 2004, 3:40pm »
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Whether you are taking care of everything by yourself or you are delegating some details, I would say SHOP.  Decorating the reception room can be very costly, but you will see that if you do a bit of shopping, or if you are willing to let go of one or two decorating accessories, the bill will be far less expensive.  If you are delegating, make sure the person knows your budget and that it is a good negociator, so that you obtain the best quality and price you can.
 
You could probably buy a book, there must be a book on Marriage reception etiquette! Because if you ask only the wedding planner -which wants your happiness but also your money- or if you ask the people at the reception room, they might want to try to make you pay for things you dont need.
 
Money... money matters. The wedding bill will most certainly be higher than you expected it to be, so you have to be very picky on what kind of things you are paying for.
And also, money matters, in a couple.. oh boy. Thats one of the first source of conflict, sadly. Best way to deal with it is for you and your husband to set rules BEFORE the wedding and before you start your life togheter, if possible.
 
Last advice: Laugh. Often. Togheter.  Tongue
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Rachel
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Re: Engaged: Help! :D
« Reply #14 on: Jan 27th, 2004, 6:23pm »
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Thank you to all!  Cheesy I'm already beginning to see that I am WAY in over my head. Jon went back to Seattle today, so I won't see him again until early March. We kind of made a date, but it's not official yet, still very subject to change. August 28th is the informal one, but we may go back a week to the 21st. We want to have a day wedding, because providing a full meal is not expected, and frankly, we don't have the money to buy a house (which we are currently shopping around for) and have a full course meal. We have a location, and luckily that is about $2000 cheaper than we estimated, now we just need to reserve it!  
 
As for someone to take care of the small things, well, we'll get there eventually. Jon's mom is an interior designer, so she's taking care of all the decorations with her firm, so I'm very blessed with that. I still don't know what to do for cakes, corsages, flowers (most likely lilies), dancing (band), reception... the list goes on for miles!
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