Metropolis Reality Forums

Sponsored by: The Fans!

Welcome, Guest. Please Login or Register.
Nov 25^th, 2024, 10:30am

Upcoming Premiere Dates:
Survivor 23, Season premiere
Thursday, September 14 (8:00-9:30 PM, ET/PT) on CBS

Metropolis Reality Forums Ť Teenagers ť

   Metropolis Reality Forums
   Community
   The Grapevine (Moderators: Heather, Bumper, Isle_be_back)
   Teenagers

Previous topic | New Topic | Next topic »

Pages: all 1 2

Add Poll

Notify of replies

Send Topic

Author

Topic: Teenagers (Read 733 times)

lakelady
Moderator
ForumsNet Member

Posts: 11251

Teenagers
« on: Feb 17^th, 2004, 3:22pm »

Quote

Modify

I figured all the parents here could appreciate this one.

TEENAGER (NOUN)

1) A mammal found extensively throughout the planet, often clustered in groups in front of television sets or computers (See SLOTHS). Thought to be a member of Homo Sapiens due to physical similarities, though social and emotional behavior leads many researchers to consider Teenagers to be a completely different species altogether (See 'PARENTS') Very territorial. (See 'ITS MY ROOM STAY OUT OF MY ROOM').

Teenagers are extraordinarily social animals, seeking contact with their peer groups to such a great extent they will forgo family, chores, food, and responsibility (See 'FATHERS, QUOTATIONS OF'). The males of the species forage for food constantly (See 'MCDONALD'S') and can consume three times their weight every day. When in full plumage, the males are usually drab, marked by loose fitting garments which slide off their backsides and look ridiculous (See 'FATHERS, QUOTATIONS OF').

The females, on the other hand, sport striking colors under their eyes, throughout their hair, and on the tips of their fingers. Females often attract males by wearing garments to accentuate chest development (See 'WONDER BRAS'). Males indicate their approval by staring at the display (See 'FATHERS, HEART ATTACKS OF'). The call of the female is complex and shrill, "Like, O m' Gosh! O m' Gosh!"
Males are less vocal, signaling to other males with a salutatory, "Yo. Yo. S'up? S'up?"

Teenagers line their nests with discarded undergarments. The females hold telephone receivers to their ears an average of six hours a day. When challenged for possession, they snarl and warn intruders, "I'm doing my HOMEWORK. My HOMEWORK. My HOMEWORK." The males lie immobile for hours at a time, conserving energy and listening to violent electronic signals from radios.

Male Teenagers concentrate on important information (See 'FATHERS, LECTURES OF') by rolling their eyes, shrugging, kicking dirt, and sighing. Females burst into tears and slam doors. Many Homosapien families have a host-to-parasite relationship with one (See 'STRESS') or more than one (See 'EXTREME STRESS') Teenager. These host families often develop a resistance to the parasite, rejecting them some time in the eighteenth year of life.

Often, though, this rejection is merely theoretical, with the Teenager continuing to live off of the host Homo Sapiens family for many years afterward, often at great sacrifice (See 'COLLEGE').

2) Of, relating to, and especially EXPLAINING irrational, intolerable, or inexplicable behavior. ("She's a Teenager.")

3) A request for sympathy, offered by adult parents to each other in support. ("I have a Teenager at home.") Often accompanied by sighs, headshaking, tongue clucking, and shoulder shrugging.

IP Logged

jetgirl
ForumsNet Member

Well behaved women rarely make history.

Gender:

Posts: 314

Re: Teenagers
« Reply #1 on: Feb 17^th, 2004, 4:18pm »

Quote

Modify

That is funny. Where's it from?

IP Logged

You have to expect that if you cuss out the world, the world is going to cuss back.

lakelady
Moderator
ForumsNet Member

Posts: 11251

Re: Teenagers
« Reply #2 on: Feb 17^th, 2004, 6:03pm »

Quote

Modify

No idea, jetgirl. A friend emailed it to me. Tho I don't have kids, even I can relate to it. lol

IP Logged

dudeguy89
You Bet Your ASS Team
ForumsNet Member

Don't be fooled by the rocks that he's got.

Gender:

Posts: 742

Re: Teenagers
« Reply #3 on: Feb 17^th, 2004, 6:11pm »

Quote

Modify

on Feb 17^th, 2004, 3:22pm, lakelady wrote:

The call of the female is complex and shrill, "Like, O m' Gosh! O m' Gosh!"
Males are less vocal, signaling to other males with a salutatory, "Yo. Yo. S'up? S'up?"

Just to clear up something being a 14-year-old myself. There are three types of teenage male greetings.

1) The gangsta: S'up homie! Hola! Yo Dog!

2) The wannabe gangsta: (95% of teens) What is up my shizzle nizzle! How is it hanging in the crib! Yo!
(While they try some ghetto handshake)

3) The punk: (me and the people who actually know real english) hey.

While the female teen is ALWAYS: O....MY...GOD! and/or GOSH!

IP Logged

I root for two teams. The Marlins, and anyone who beats the Yankees.

lakelady
Moderator
ForumsNet Member

Posts: 11251

Re: Teenagers
« Reply #4 on: Feb 17^th, 2004, 6:41pm »

Quote

Modify

LMAO dudeguy!!!!!!!!!!! :laff:

Thanks for adding your personal insight. That's hysterical! The S'up thing cracks me up. While you are at it, can you give us some idea why teens all want tatoos? And body piercings? I want to hear from an experience mentality.

IP Logged

chickmama
ForumsNet Member

Eat more Chicken

Gender:

Posts: 1159

Re: Teenagers
« Reply #5 on: Feb 18^th, 2004, 3:10pm »

Quote

Modify

Ooh, good question Lakelady. As a mom of an 11 year old girl, I really hope this isn't an issue that comes up!

IP Logged

nons55
ForumsNet Member

Gender:

Posts: 274

Re: Teenagers
« Reply #6 on: Feb 18^th, 2004, 5:44pm »

Quote

Modify

on Feb 17^th, 2004, 6:41pm, lakelady wrote:

LMAO dudeguy!!!!!!!!!!! :laff:

As a high school senior, I would like to put your weary minds to a bit of rest. I can honestly tell you that neither myself nor my friends have ever expressed interest in tattoos and body piercings other than the ear and *possibly* belly button. This isn't to say that the desire for piercings and tatoos is a lie...just thought I would let some parents know that not everybody goes through that phase.

IP Logged

http://www.livejournal.com/users/nonnalita

Only 5% of eligible Americans donate blood. Save a life; donate at your local blood center

lakelady
Moderator
ForumsNet Member

Posts: 11251

Re: Teenagers
« Reply #7 on: Feb 18^th, 2004, 6:22pm »

Quote

Modify

That's wonderful news nons55! Glad to hear it and good for you and your friends. Not knowing your parents, I have a feeling you have been raised with good values and kudos to them. I like hearing "success" stories.

IP Logged

MzWings
ForumsNet Member

Praying for FN members/family health & happiness

Gender:

Posts: 0

Re: Teenagers
« Reply #8 on: Feb 18^th, 2004, 7:09pm »

Quote

Modify

on Feb 17^th, 2004, 6:11pm, dudeguy89 wrote:

Thank ya darlin'!

:laff:

I have an uncle who still says "hubba hubba" - constantly. ick

IP Logged

"Senility Prayer"...God grant me...
The senility to forget the people I never liked
The good fortune to run into the ones that I do
And the eyesight to tell the difference."

Addams
You Bet Your ASS Team
ForumsNet Member

Gender:

Posts: 5398

Re: Teenagers
« Reply #9 on: Feb 18^th, 2004, 9:02pm »

Quote

Modify

Should I be worried if my 5 year old is saying O...MY...GOSH! already?

IP Logged

chickmama
ForumsNet Member

Eat more Chicken

Gender:

Posts: 1159

Re: Teenagers
« Reply #10 on: Feb 19^th, 2004, 9:29am »

Quote

Modify

LOL addams. Lucy says it too. Huh

Thanks for the encouragement nons55. I agree with lakelady, you seem very OK! Tell your mom and dad you appreciate them.

IP Logged

avsfanbuck
ForumsNet Member

Pulling W. Out for another Party!

Gender:

Posts: 2167

Re: Teenagers
« Reply #11 on: Feb 19^th, 2004, 11:27am »

Quote

Modify

I am so glad i don't talk like this!!!!!!!!!!

IP Logged

You all Know that Cappy is coming back for All Stars!

jetgirl
ForumsNet Member

Well behaved women rarely make history.

Gender:

Posts: 314

Re: Teenagers
« Reply #12 on: Feb 19^th, 2004, 2:42pm »

Quote

Modify

Now hang on just a minute. I am not a teenager yet I have both tattoos & piercings, both of which I did in my post-teenage years. It's now been a number of years & I'm still fine with them.

From my experience, the problem lies not in the body art whether it's ink or jewelry, but being mature enough or having the freedom to make the decision.

Frankly I can't believe that parents would entertain this kind of request from thier kid, but then I am often shocked at things parents allow their kids to get away with in demeanor, speech and clothing. I'm not a parent so I'm speaking from an outsiders perspective.

Teens rebel. It happens. & now that dying your hair green & pink is fairly normal, the rebelion is escalating once more.

IP Logged

You have to expect that if you cuss out the world, the world is going to cuss back.

lakelady
Moderator
ForumsNet Member

Posts: 11251

Re: Teenagers
« Reply #13 on: Feb 19^th, 2004, 9:03pm »

Quote

Modify

Oh jetgirl, I definitely rebelled. I was my parent's roommate for 18 years and their worst nightmare. And then I was a roommate for MANY years after that. Thanks to college, I can no longer drink beer or eat tuna fish or peanut butter. IF I were a parent, my poor kids would get away with nothing. And knowing this is a good thing. I was not meant to be a parent. I would be way too strict. Piercings? Or tattoos? :yikes: