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Sour Apple
Gwyneth joins the bad celebrity baby-name brigade.
by Kat Giantis
MSN Entertainment
May 17, 2004
It's only been a few days since Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin introduced their 9 lb., 11 oz. bouncing baby Apple to the world, and already we're sick of the puns ("Apple of Gwyn's eye," "Pomme in the oven," "Gwynny Smith," and pretty much anything in the "core" or "peel" genre). No word on the significance of the oddball appellation, though theories have ranged from a New York homage to a wacky Beatles tribute to the most expensive Mac product placement ever.
We wish little Apple the best of luck on the playground (you'll need it, honey), and offer her these words of consolation: It could've been a whole lot worse. Really. We'll never understand why some celebrities, who are capable of giving their children the best of everything, saddle them with monikers that will inevitably lead to teasing, fisticuffs and diminished career prospects, but we decided it's a good time to out Hollywood's worst baby-name offenders. Be sure to check back soon for updates, since we're expecting big things from the likes of Courteney Cox and David Arquette, Beck and Marissa Ribisi, and Casey Affleck and Summer Phoenix ...
10. Rumer Glenn, Tallulah Belle and Scout LaRue, daughters of Bruce Willis and Demi Moore
9. Jett, son of John Travolta and Kelly Preston
8. Diezel and Denim, sons of Toni Braxton and Keri Lewis
7. Prince Michael, Prince Michael II (AKA Blanket), and Paris Michael, children of Michael Jackson
6. Speck Wildhorse and Hud, sons of John Mellencamp and Elaine Irwin
5. Pilot Inspektor, son of Jason Lee and Beth Riesgraf
4. Tu Morrow, daughter of Rob Morrow and Debbon Ayre (seriously)
3. Audio Science, son of Shannyn Sossamon and Dallas Clayton
2. Moon Unit, Ahmet Emuukha Rodan, Dweezil, and Diva, children of Frank Zappa
1. Heavenly Hiraani Tiger Lily, Fifi Trixibelle, Peaches Honeyblossom, and Pixie, daughters of the late Paula Yates (Tiger Lily's dad is the late Michael Hutchence; Bob Geldof is father to the other three)
Dishonorable Mention: Zowie (son of David Bowie -- he later changed his name to Joe before settling on Duncan); Elijah Bob Patricius Guggi Q (son of Bono), Banjo (son of Rachel Griffiths), Jaz (daughter of Andre Agassi and Steffi Graf), Romeo and Brooklyn (sons of Victoria and David Beckham), Aurelius (son of Elle Macpherson), Lyric and Zephyr (daughter and son of Robby Benson), Hopper (son of Sean Penn and Robin Wright Penn), Kyd (son of David Duchovny and Tea Leoni), Reignbeau and Freedom (son and daughter of Ving Rhames), and (gulp) Jermajesty (son of Jermaine Jackson).
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