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   Feeling Awful

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Topic: Feeling Awful (Read 487 times)

lakelady
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Feeling Awful
« on: Jun 1^st, 2004, 5:29pm »

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I posted this earlier in the Today I thread. Thanks for the hug azure.

I am just still so sick over what happened this morning. I'm grieving. I was on the two-lane county highway headed to work and hit a tiny kitten. In the middle of nowhere. As I approached it, I thought it was something dead so I went to straddle it. And as I got right up on it, it tried to crawl slowly off the road and my right front tire just flattened it. I feel sick. And I can still hear the sound of it in my mind. But at least it never knew what hit it and died instantly. I tell myself it was destined for a bad life and I was able to end it quickly.

On the way home, I had to pass by it once again and wigged out all over again. Something occurred to me both this morning and again this afternoon. I think that someone was coming from the other direction and threw this kitten out and it landed in the middle of my lane. It was just lying there as if asleep or dazed and could not move quickly. That thought makes me even sicker than hitting it.

So, I will end with this question. When was the last time you did something that seemed so awful that it stayed with you for days?

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david
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Re: Feeling Awful
« Reply #1 on: Jun 1^st, 2004, 5:44pm »

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As you may know I am a recovering alcoholic sober 18 years this month I canr begin to name the things I did that had me feel that way. I certainly feel for you as I know how deeply that would effect me. Your a sweet lady and no one will think ill of you so you shouldnt either. Perhaps Kitten was already mortally wounded and what happened was a blessing. Regardless i know this will stick for a bit but you took a wise step talking about it Kiss

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lakelady
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Re: Feeling Awful
« Reply #2 on: Jun 1^st, 2004, 6:11pm »

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Thanks david for your kind words. And congratulations for being sober for 18 years. I did not know that about you and I admire that very much. On another note, I think your new "addiction" would be Pilar! haaaaaaaaa
And I think that is even more fantastic! Congrats on your wonderful marriage too. Grin

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david
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Re: Feeling Awful
« Reply #3 on: Jun 1^st, 2004, 6:12pm »

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thank you its seems addiction is more on Pilars side lol she is quite the agressor. I know you will be fine sweet lady and my heart is with you

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Rupey
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Re: Feeling Awful
« Reply #4 on: Jun 1^st, 2004, 6:19pm »

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Lakelady, if that kitten was out in the street in the first place, that leads me to believe that perhaps it wasn't being well cared for. If that was the case, it would never have had a good quality of life as a feral cat, being allowed to roam about freely without consistent food and shelter.

I know that is a very harsh way of looking at it, however. I really don't know what to say to help you feel better. This was an accident and not your fault. Had you swerved to avoid it, it might have run in the path of your vehicle anyway. I ran over a bird years ago in the same manner as your accident. It also messed with my head and my emotions for a while.

I am not a believer in karma and that sort of stuff but would you feel better, perhaps, if you took a bag of cat food to your local animal shelter or made a donation to spay or neuter a shelter cat? That would make a difference in the life of another needy feline.

All I can offer you besides my lame attempt at advice is a hug, my friend. Please don't beat yourself up over this. At least you care. Many people don't. Embarassed

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"Lord, please make me the person my dog thinks I am."

david
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Re: Feeling Awful
« Reply #5 on: Jun 1^st, 2004, 6:21pm »

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Amen Rupey Cool

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luci
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Re: Feeling Awful
« Reply #6 on: Jun 1^st, 2004, 6:37pm »

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So sorry that you are feeling so sad about this accidnet! It sounds to me that kitty was already sick when you hit it. Let's just think you did it a favor. Now it doesn't have to have a bad life by not having enough food or it's owner not caring for it properly.

Kiss

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"A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and
can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words."

lakelady
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Re: Feeling Awful
« Reply #7 on: Jun 1^st, 2004, 7:55pm »

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But it was God's little life and i took it.

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david
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Re: Feeling Awful
« Reply #8 on: Jun 1^st, 2004, 8:00pm »

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You didnt TAKE it to suggest you TOOK it would suggest you did it intentionally which you did NOT. Your heart is in the right place fear not Kiss

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rcs_mum
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Re: Feeling Awful
« Reply #9 on: Jun 1^st, 2004, 9:22pm »

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Rupey
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Re: Feeling Awful
« Reply #10 on: Jun 1^st, 2004, 9:26pm »

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The people who let that kitten get loose, whether intentionally or not, were the ones responsible, not you.

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"Lord, please make me the person my dog thinks I am."

Pau
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Re: Feeling Awful
« Reply #11 on: Jun 1^st, 2004, 11:50pm »

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to you LL.... you have no power to prevent that accident... it was just passed to you without your consent.... just think that if you tried to miss that kitten, more lives may be affected if you hit another car trying to avoid running over her....

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