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Topic: Snappy Answers (Read 176 times)

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Snappy Answers
« on: Jun 25^th, 2004, 8:38am »

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Snappy Answer #1

A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As
a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket, and he opened his
trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat she said, "Sir, I need
to see your ticket, not your stub."

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"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day."
Frank Sinatra

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Re: Snappy Answers
« Reply #1 on: Jun 25^th, 2004, 8:38am »

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Snappy Answer #2

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the

grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for

her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys

get any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No ma'am,

they're dead."

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"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day."
Frank Sinatra

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Re: Snappy Answers
« Reply #2 on: Jun 25^th, 2004, 8:39am »

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Snappy Answer #3

> The cop got out of his car & the kid who was stopped

> for speeding rolled down his window. "I've been

> waiting for you all day," the cop said. The kid

> replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could."

> When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the

> kid on his way without a ticket

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"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day."
Frank Sinatra

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Re: Snappy Answers
« Reply #3 on: Jun 25^th, 2004, 8:39am »

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Snappy Answer #4

>

> A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A

> sign comes up that reads "Low bridge ahead." Before

> he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he

> gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for

> miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets

> out of his car and walks around to the truck driver,

> puts his hands on his hips & says, "Got stuck, huh?"

> The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this

> bridge and ran out of gas."

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"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day."
Frank Sinatra

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Re: Snappy Answers
« Reply #4 on: Jun 25^th, 2004, 8:39am »

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> THE TEACHER - SNAPPY ANSWER OF THE YEAR

>

> A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's

> final exam. "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses

> for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a

> nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or

> illness, or a death in your immediate family but

> that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!" A smart-ass

> guy in the back of the room raised his hand and

> asks, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was

> suffering from complete and utter sexual

> exhaustion?" The entire class does its best to

> stifle their laughter. When silence is restored, the

> teacher smiles sympathetically at the student,

> shakes her head, and sweetly says, "Well, I guess

> you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."

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"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day."
Frank Sinatra

Insane 4 Survivor
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Re: Snappy Answers
« Reply #5 on: Jun 25^th, 2004, 8:40am »

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An elderly couple was sitting at the kitchen table

on the morning of their 50th wedding anniversary.

"You know" she said, "We were probably sitting in

the kitchen across from each other 50 years ago."

"Yea" he said, "But we were probably naked." "So

let's get naked now" she suggested. So they both

took off all their clothes and sat across from each

other. "You know" she said smiling lovingly "My

nipples feel just as hot for you today as they were

50 years ago." He replied "I'm sure they are - one

is in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal!"

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"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day."
Frank Sinatra

PuffPuffPass
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Re: Snappy Answers
« Reply #6 on: Jun 25^th, 2004, 1:22pm »

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Oh snap that last one was good

I guess there was a master plan at work when god made vision deteriate in old age

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Here's to cheating, stealing, fighting, and drinking.
If you cheat, may you cheat death.
If you steal, may you steal a woman's heart.
If you fight,

luci
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Re: Snappy Answers
« Reply #7 on: Jun 25^th, 2004, 3:36pm »

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THAT LAST ONE WAS TOO FUNNY, I COULDN'T EVEN READ IT TO MY "HUNK" WITHOUT LAUGHING! Grin

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"A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and
can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words."

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