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Metropolis Reality Forums « Rules?  to Enter Texas »

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   Author  Topic: Rules?  to Enter Texas  (Read 127 times)
luci
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Rules?  to Enter Texas
« on: Jul 16th, 2004, 4:24pm »		 Quote Quote Modify Modify

>
> Applies to each person as they enter Texas. Learn 'em and remember 'em.
East Coast and California-types pay particular attention!
>
>  1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot!
>
> 2. Let's get this straight; it's called a "gravel road."  I drive a pickup
truck because I need to.  No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get
dust on your Hummer.  Drive it or get out of the way.
>
> 3. They are cattle and oil wells.  That's what they smell like to you.
They smell like money to us.  Get over it.  Don't like it?   I-20 and I-10
go east and west, I-35 goes north and south.  Pick one!
>
> 4. So you have a $60,000 car.  We're impressed!  We have quarter-million
dollar cotton strippers that we drive 3 weeks a year.
>
> 5. So every person in every pickup waves.  It's called being friendly.
Try to understand the concept.
>
> 6. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of doves are coming in, we WILL
shoot it out of your hand.  You better hope you don't have it up to your ear
at the time.
>
> 7. Yeah, we eat catfish and crawdads.  You really want sushi & caviar?
It's available at the corner bait shop.
>
> 8. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season.  It's a religious
holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of  November.
>
> 9. We open doors for women.  That applies to all women, regardless of age.
>
> 10. No, there's no "vegetarian special" on the menu.  Order steak.  Or you
can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham and turkey.
>
> 11. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats,
vegetables, and breads.  We use three spices: salt, pepper, and picante
sauce.  Oh, yeah...we don't give a damn what you folks in Cincinnati call
that crap you eat...  It AIN'T REAL CHILI!!  Chili was born and bred in San
Antonio....  And real chili never met a tomato!
>
> 12. You bring "coke" into my house, it better be brown, wet, and served
over ice.  You bring "Mary Jane" into my house, she better be cute, know how
to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.
>
> 13. High School Football is as important here as the Lakers and the
Knicks, and a dang site more fun to watch!
>
> 14. Yeah, we have golf courses.  Don't hit the water hazards - it spooks
the fish!
>
> 15. Colleges? Try Texas A&M or the University of Texas.  They come outta
there with an education plus a love for God and country, and they still wave
at passing pickups when they come for the holidays!
>
> 16. We have more folks in the Navy, Army, Marines, and Air Force than any
other state, so "Don't Mess with Texas."  If you do, it will get your butt
whipped by the best.  Remember we have access to bombers, tanks and
helicopters.
>
> 17. Always remember what our great governor Sam Houston once said:  "Texas
can make it without the United States,  but the United States can't make it
without Texas!"
>
> GOD BLESS TEXAS!!!
     
   
 
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lakelady
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Re: Rules?  to Enter Texas
« Reply #1 on: Jul 16th, 2004, 5:20pm »		 Quote Quote Modify Modify
:rofl:
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luci
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Re: Rules?  to Enter Texas
« Reply #2 on: Jul 16th, 2004, 7:13pm »		 Quote Quote Modify Modify
Do you think a real red NEKE composed this one Huh Grin
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lakelady
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Re: Rules?  to Enter Texas
« Reply #3 on: Jul 16th, 2004, 9:23pm »		 Quote Quote Modify Modify
dang luci gal, I'm having so much fun watching movies, I'm about to watch another.    Cool
There is life after channel 300 or Lifetime Movie Network. I decided I was tired of watching women murder their husbands, or being raped, going to prison or losing their children.   Think I will watch The Last Samuria now.  
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lakelady
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Re: Rules?  to Enter Texas
« Reply #4 on: Jul 16th, 2004, 9:24pm »		 Quote Quote Modify Modify
luci is a neke luci is a neke.    Cheesy
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Pau
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Re: Rules?  to Enter Texas
« Reply #5 on: Jul 16th, 2004, 10:25pm »		 Quote Quote Modify Modify
oh... thanks luci for those rules to look upto before I set my foot on Texan land...  
 
I'd better memorize them before August.. coz I don't want to get my camera phone shot with hand and ears for being mistaken as a dove.... hehhehe Grin
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