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Metropolis Reality Forums « Only A Southerner Knows........... »

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luci
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Only A Southerner Knows...........
« on: Jul 17th, 2004, 11:59am »		 Quote Quote Modify Modify
Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a
conniption fit, and that you don't "HAVE" them, you "PITCH" them.
 
Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens,
peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess."
 
Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction
of "yonder."
 
Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is -- as in:
"Going to town, be back directly."
 
Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for
the  white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in
the middle of the table.
 
All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use
the term, but they know the concept well.
 
Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace
for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big
bowl of  cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis,
they also know to add a large banana puddin!
 
Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near"
and "a right far piece." They also know that "just down the road" can be 1
mile or 20.
 
Only a Southerner, both knows and understands, the difference between
a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.
 
No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing
turn signal is actually going to make a turn.
 
 A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an
adverb.
 
 Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines. We don't do
"queues," we do "lines" and when we're "in line," we talk to everybody !
 
 Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're
related, even if only by marriage.
 
 Southerners never refer to one person as "ya'll."
 
 Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.
 Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee
are perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and
that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.
 
 
When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'," you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!
 
 Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.
 
 And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say, "Bless her heart" and go your own way.
 
 
  To those of you who're still a little embarrassed by your Southerness:
 Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call me in the morning.  Bless your heart!
 
 And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all this Southern stuff, bless your hearts, I hear they are fixin ' to have classes on Southernness as a second language!
 
 And for those that are not from the South but have lived here for a long time, ya'll need a sign to hang on ya'lls front porch that reads "I aint from the South but I got here as fast as I could."
 
  Bless your hearts, ya'll have a blessed day!
 
 
 
 
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"A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and
can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words."
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david
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Re: Only A Southerner Knows...........
« Reply #1 on: Jul 17th, 2004, 12:00pm »		 Quote Quote Modify Modify Remove Remove
:laff: :laff: :laff: :laff: :laff: :laff: :laff: :laff: :laff: :laff:
 
that is so good Luci lol
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luci
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Re: Only A Southerner Knows...........
« Reply #2 on: Jul 17th, 2004, 12:07pm »		 Quote Quote Modify Modify
Thanks, I laugh each time I read it.  As for our household, we would NEVER go to a tent revival, unless our church burned down! Roll Eyes
 
I would NEVER put a spoon of grits into MY mouth, it is like wet birdseed! Shocked
 
No, I don't do queques, was grown before I knew it wasn't a que ball for shootin' pool  Embarassed
 
And our North Carolina friends say "right much" when an item is expensive, as "It cost  "right much".  I still have to control laughing out loud and love to hear those folks talk and vice versa!  I cannot figure this one out for I only have a true TEXAS accent!  Grin
« Last Edit: Jul 17th, 2004, 12:07pm by luci » IP Logged
"A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and
can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words."
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david
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Re: Only A Southerner Knows...........
« Reply #3 on: Jul 17th, 2004, 12:09pm »		 Quote Quote Modify Modify Remove Remove
My Mom is from Alabama I just sent it to her I am sure she will get a laugh out of it
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