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   ...........because I AM a MAN..........

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Topic: ...........because I AM a MAN.......... (Read 122 times)

luci
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Posts: 12045

...........because I AM a MAN..........
« on: Aug 14^th, 2004, 11:34am »

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.........................The women will LOVE this!

Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car I will fiddle with a
wire long after hypothermia has set in. I will win.
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Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very well, I will pop the
hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm looking at. If
another man shows up, one of us will say to the other, "I used to be
able to fix these things, but now with all these computers and
everything, I wouldn't, know where to start." We will then drink beer
and break wind as a form of holy communion.
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Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold, I need someone to bring me soup
and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You're a woman. You
never get as sick as I do, so for you this isn't a problem.
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Because I'm a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at
the store, like milk or bread. I cannot be expected to find exotic
items like "cumin" or "tofu." For all I know, these are the same thing.
And never, under any circumstances, expect me to pick up anything for
which "feminine hygiene product" is a euphemism. (F.Y.I. guys cumin is
a spice and not a bodily function, pronounced QUE-MIN)
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Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops working, I will
insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me
twice as much, once the repair person gets here and has to put it back
together.
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Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote control in my hand
while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole
show looking for it (though one time I was able to survive by holding a
calculator).....applies to engineers mainly.
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Because I'm a man, there is no need to ask me what I'm thinking about.
The answer is always either sex, cars, or football. I have to make up
something else when you ask, so don't ask.
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Because I'm a man, I do not want to visit your mother, or have your
mother come visit us, or talk to her when she calls, or think about her
any more than I have to. Whatever you got her for Mother's Day is okay;
I don't need to see it. And don't forget to pick up something for my
mother, too.
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Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie.
Chances are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't....and if you
are feeling amorous afterwards...then I will certainly remember the
name and recommend it to others.
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Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine. I thought what
you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes
is fine. With the belt or without it, looks fine. Your hair is fine.
You look fine. Can we just go now?
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Because I'm a man, and this is, after all, the year 2004, I will share
equally in the housework. You just do the laundry, the cooking, the
cleaning, the vacuuming, and the dishes, and I'll do the rest......
like wandering around in the garden with a beer wondering what to do.
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This has been a public service message for Women to better understand
the Male.

« Last Edit: Aug 14^th, 2004, 11:35am by luci »

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"A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and
can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words."

Bumper
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Re: ...........because I AM a MAN..........
« Reply #1 on: Aug 14^th, 2004, 11:42am »

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Shouldn't this be in the Manly Man's Retreat? :winkgrin:

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If U R reading these old posts, know that we were once a great, active cyber-community, but as in all things..Time moves on. This is now a Ghost Town.

luci
ForumsNet Member

Gender:

Posts: 12045

Re: ...........because I AM a MAN..........
« Reply #2 on: Aug 14^th, 2004, 12:04pm »

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Bump, I was all ready to paste and thought,
"whoops, he doesn't want us ladies in there'! Roll Eyes

Well, it did get your attention where is is, right? Grin

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"A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and
can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words."

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