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   How to shower like a woman (and a man)

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Topic: How to shower like a woman (and a man) (Read 215 times)

Dixie
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How to shower like a woman (and a man)
« on: Nov 19^th, 2004, 5:18pm »

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This really cracked me up...my sides hurt!

  HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN:
  1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.

  2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see your husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror--make mental note--must do more sit-ups.

4. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.

5. Wash your hair once with Cucumber and Sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.

6. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.

7. Condition your hair with Grapefruit Mint conditioner enhanced with natural avocado oil. Leave on hair for 15 minutes.

8. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for ten minutes (or until red.)

9. Wash entire rest of body with Ginger Nut and Jaffa Cake body wash.

10. Rinse conditioner off hair (you must make sure that it has all come off).

11. Shave armpits and legs. Consider shaving bikini area but decide to get it waxed instead.

12. Scream loudly when your husband flushed the toilet and you got scorched.

13. Turn off shower.

14. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex.

15. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent second towel.

16. Check entire body for the remotest sign of a zit, tweeze hairs

17. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.

  HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:

1.Take off clothes on the way to the bathroom, leave them on the floor wherever they fall.

2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see your wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the "woo-woo" sound.

3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror and suck in your gut to see if you have pecs (no). Admire the size of your wiener in the mirror and scratch your butt.

4. Get in the shower.

5. Don't bother to look for a washcloth (you don't use one).

6. Wash your face.

7. Wash your armpits.

8. Blow your nose in your hands, then let the water just rinse it off.

9. Crack up at how loud your fart sounds in the shower.

10. Majority of time is spent washing your privates and surrounding area.

11. Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs on the soap bar.

12. Shampoo your hair (do not use conditioner).

13. Make a shampoo Mohawk.

14. Peek out of shower curtain to look at yourself in the mirror again.

15. Pee (in the shower).

16. Rinse off and get out of the shower. Fail to notice water on the floor because you left the curtain hanging out of the tub the whole time.

17. Partially dry off.

18. Look at yourself in the mirror, flex muscles. Admire wiener size again.

19. Leave shower curtain open and wet bath mat on the floor.

20. Leave bathroom fan and light on.

21. Return to the bedroom with towel around your waist. If you pass your wife, pull off the towel, shake wiener at her, and make the "woo-woo"sound again.

22. Throw wet towel on the bed. Take 2 minutes to get dressed.

« Last Edit: Nov 20^th, 2004, 5:12pm by Dixie »

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Genius
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Re: How to shower like a woman
« Reply #1 on: Nov 19^th, 2004, 8:23pm »

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Men think differently from women, that's all i can say

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Bumper
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Re: How to shower like a woman
« Reply #2 on: Nov 19^th, 2004, 10:26pm »

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I take offense at this!! You've really crossed the line this time!! This analogy is BOGUS!!

. . . . . I ALWAYS cut the bathroom light and fan off!! Grin

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Re: How to shower like a woman
« Reply #3 on: Nov 20^th, 2004, 4:58am »

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I knew there's a "How to shower like a man" at the end of this thread when I was half way thru the "Women" list. Roll Eyes

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Dixie
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Re: How to shower like a woman
« Reply #4 on: Nov 20^th, 2004, 9:05am »

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Bump,

Even though we have never met, in my mind, I pictured you as a woo-woo kinda guy. Grin

BTW, the man is my hubby ---to a tee!!!

« Last Edit: Nov 20^th, 2004, 9:06am by Dixie »

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bunnielou
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Re: How to shower like a woman (and a man)
« Reply #5 on: Nov 20^th, 2004, 9:19am »

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Dixie, that is soooooo funny!

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Genius
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Re: How to shower like a woman (and a man)
« Reply #6 on: Nov 20^th, 2004, 11:34pm »

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LoL.

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luci
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Re: How to shower like a woman (and a man)
« Reply #7 on: Nov 21^st, 2004, 3:14pm »

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Aren't most men the "WOO WOO" Kind?

Thanks be to shower doors and tile floors Cool

..........and His & Hers Bathrooms Grin

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Genius
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Re: How to shower like a woman (and a man)
« Reply #8 on: Nov 22^nd, 2004, 6:14am »

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The Woowoo kind refers to kind of man who can't control his sexual instincts, right??

(Ashamed that i dunnoe what it means Cry

)

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PuffPuffPass
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Re: How to shower like a woman (and a man)
« Reply #9 on: Nov 22^nd, 2004, 1:20pm »

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Whoo Hoo factor...... too funny

I am sorry to shatter the factual integrity of this post Grin

I love showers, they last at least 1/2 an hour. Every part does get washed, I enjoy the ?foofa? nice scrub feels nice. As for getting everything wet or leaving the curtain out? well Im happy to report that I fgigured that one out before I moved out way back when.

Im lucky enough tpo have a wife that makes homemade soap, so theres nothing better than a nice long shower with a chocolate/peppermint soap in the morning.

PS....... whats wrong with spending alot of time in the groin area? hmmmm

Grin

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luci
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Re: How to shower like a woman (and a man)
« Reply #10 on: Nov 22^nd, 2004, 11:06pm »

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Why is it I'm not surprized to see you stop working long enough to post on thi one, Puff? Wink

It is a LOOFA Sponge.

.....and your wife makes you chocolate peppermint soap? Grin

How nice of her, she wants you smelling good and sweet, along with clean!
Sounds like an ulterior motive in mind to me Grin

Stay Young Wink

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