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Metropolis Reality Forums Ť Just for fun ť

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Topic: Just for fun (Read 183 times)

Insane 4 Survivor
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Just for fun
« on: Dec 7^th, 2004, 2:07pm »

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How about a little humor today

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"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day."
Frank Sinatra

Insane 4 Survivor
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My New Home

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Posts: 4438

Re: Just for fun
« Reply #1 on: Dec 7^th, 2004, 2:07pm »

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------------------------------------------------------------------------ -------

A young man was pulled over by the Mississippi State Police for speeding. The officer stepped out of his patrol car, adjusted his sunglasses, and swaggered up to the young man's window. "What chew driving so fast for boy? You going to a fahhr? Let me see your license, boy." The young man handed over his license.
Then the officer noticed that the back seat of the car was full of large knives. The officer said, "Tell me boy, why you got them knives on that there back seat?" The young man replied, "Well sir, I'm a juggler." The officer spat some tobacco juice and then he said, "A juggler; well you don't say. Boy, put cha hands on the trunk of yer car; you going to jail!"

The young man pleaded with the officer not to take him to jail. He offered to prove to the officer that he was a juggler by way of demonstration. He said, "You can even hold me at gunpoint while I juggle for you." The officer reluctantly allowed him to prove his point while he held him at gunpoint.

Two miles down the road at Joe's Tavern, Billy Bub was drinking it up with Jerry Lee Jones. Billy Bub soon left and got into his old, rusty pickup truck. He proceeded down the road trying his best to stay on the right side. All of a sudden Billy Bub spotted the most unbelievable sight of his life! He drove to the nearest phone booth and dialed the number for Joe's Tavern and asked for his buddy, Jerry Lee.

When Jerry Lee got on the phone, Billy Bub said, "Whatever you do when you leave that tavern, don't go north on route 109. The state police are giving a sobriety test that nobody can pass!"

« Last Edit: Dec 8^th, 2004, 11:18am by Insane 4 Survivor »

IP Logged

"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day."
Frank Sinatra

Insane 4 Survivor
Moderator
ForumsNet Member

My New Home

Gender:

Posts: 4438

Re: Just for fun
« Reply #2 on: Dec 7^th, 2004, 2:08pm »

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Things You Hear On A Football Broadcast
That Sound Dirty, But Aren't

The hole closed on him before he could penetrate it.

He came at his blind side and got him from behind.

He's off to the sidelines for a quick blow.

It's a game of inches.

That hole was so big,
you could drive a truck through it.

When you get down in this area,
you gotta just start pounding it.

He's gonna feel that one tomorrow.

He found his tight end.

End around.

He had to stretch to get it in.

He's got great hands.

He blows them off (at the line).

He bangs it in.

He could go all the way.

He gets it off just in time.

He goes deep.

He found a hole and slid through it.

He pounds it in.

He beats them off (the line).

He gets penetration into the backfield.

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"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day."
Frank Sinatra

Insane 4 Survivor
Moderator
ForumsNet Member

My New Home

Gender:

Posts: 4438

Re: Just for fun
« Reply #3 on: Dec 7^th, 2004, 2:15pm »

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A teacher was taking her first golf lesson. "Is the word spelled 'put' or 'putt'?" she asked the instructor.

"'Putt' is correct," he replied."'Put' means to place a thing where you want it, of course. 'Putt' means a vain attempt to do the same thing."

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"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day."
Frank Sinatra