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Topic: Five Smart @#& Winning Answers (Read 166 times)

luci
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Five Smart @#& Winning Answers
« on: Jan 7^th, 2005, 12:25pm »

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The 5 winning smart ass answers for 2004...
Smart Ass Answer #5:
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a
man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench
coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat....she said, "Sir, I need to see
your ticket not your stub."
****************
Smart Ass Answer #4:
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but she
couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these
turkeys get any bigger?"
The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."

*******************
Smart Ass Answer #3:
The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled
down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said. The kid
replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When the cop finally
stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.
***********************
Smart Ass Answer #2:
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign
comes up that reads, "Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it, the bridge is
right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for
miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks
to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?"
The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."
***********************
AND NOW........FOR ............THE.......... #1 SMART ASS ANSWER OF THE
YEAR 2004.........
A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now class, I
won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a
nuclear attack or a
serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family, but
that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!" A smart ass guy in the back of the
room raised his hand and asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was
suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class is
reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence was restored, the teacher
smiled knowingly at the student, shaking her head and sweetly said "Well, I
guess
you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."
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