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Topic: Medical Alert for Women! (Read 177 times)

lakelady
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Posts: 11251

Medical Alert for Women!
« on: Jan 28^th, 2005, 4:58pm »

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This is a "heads up" to those women who haven't experienced it
yet and an explanation to those friends and family who have. Most
of you have read the scare-mail about the person whose kidneys were
stolen while he was passed out.

Well, read on. While that was an "urban legend," this one is
not. It's happening every day. My thighs were stolen from me during
the night of August 3rd a few years ago. It was just that quick.

I went to sleep in my body and woke up with someone else's
thighs. The new ones had the texture of cooked oatmeal. Who would have
done such a cruel thing to legs that had been wholly mine, even if
imperfectly, for years? Whose thighs were these? What happened
to mine? I spent the entire summer looking for them. I searched,
in vain, at pools and beaches, anywhere I might find female limbs
exposed. I became obsessed. I had nightmares filled with
cellulite and flesh that turns to bumps in the night. Finally, hurt and
angry, I resigned myself to living out my life in jeans and Sheer
Energy pantyhose.

Then, just when my guard was down, the thieves struck again. My
butt was next. I knew it was the same gang because they took pains to
match my new rear end (although badly attached at least three inches
lower than the original) to the thighs they had stuck me with earlier.
Now my rear complemented my legs, lump for lump. Frantic, I prayed
that long skirts would stay in fashion.

It was 2 years ago when I realized my arms had been switched.
One morning while fixing my hair, I watched, horrified but
fascinated, as the flesh of my upper arms swung to and fro with the
motion of the hairbrush. This was really getting scary. My body was being
replaced, cleverly and fiendishly, one section at a time.

Age? Age had nothing to do with it. Age was supposed to creep
up, unnoticed and intangible, something like maturity. NO, I was
being attacked, repeatedly and without warning. In the end, in
deepening despair, I gave up my T-shirts. What could they do to me next?
My eyes began to remind people that they needed a new pair of Hush
Puppies. My poor neck disappeared more quickly than the
Thanksgiving turkey it now reminded me of.

That's why I've decided to tell my story; I can't take on the
medical profession by myself. Women of the World wake up and smell the
coffee!

That isn't really "plastic" those surgeons are using. You know
where they're getting those replacement parts, don't you? The next
time you suspect someone has had a face "lifted," look again! Was it
lifted from you? Check out those tummy tucks and buttocks raisings.
Look familiar? Are those your eyelids on that movie star? I think I
finally may have found my thighs...and I hope that Cindy
Crawford paid a really good price for them! I must say that last year I
thought someone had stolen my breasts. I was lying in bed and
they were gone, as I sprang from my bed I was relieved to see that
they were just hiding in my pajama bottoms. After reading this, I
will keep them hidden in my waistband.

This is NOT a hoax! This is happening to women in every town
every night. Warn all your friends. I feel much better knowing this is
happening. I thought I was just getting old!

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