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Metropolis Reality Forums Ť You Know You're An Extreme Redneck When.......... ť

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   You Know You're An Extreme Redneck When..........

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Topic: You Know You're An Extreme Redneck When.......... (Read 323 times)

luci
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You Know You're An Extreme Redneck When..........
« on: Mar 10^th, 2005, 2:58pm »

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1. You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at the
dinner table in front of her kids.

2. The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down
depending on how much gas is in it.

3. You've been married three times and still have the
same in-laws.

4. You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls
on a different night.

5. You wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms
so clean.

6. Someone in your family died right after saying,
"Hey, guys, watch this."

7. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.

8. Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.

9. Your junior prom offered day care.

10. You think the last words of the "Star-Spangled
Banner" are "Gentlemen, start your engines."

11. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house
exploded right off its wheels.

12. The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth
than your spouse.

13. You have to go outside to get something from the
fridge.

14. One of your kids was born on a pool table.

15. You need one more hole punched in your card to get
a freebie at the House of Tattoos.

16. You can't get married to your sweetheart because
there's a law against it.

17. You think loading the dishwasher means getting your
wife drunk.

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"A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and
can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words."

Insane 4 Survivor
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Re: You Know You're An Extreme Redneck When.......
« Reply #1 on: Mar 10^th, 2005, 3:10pm »

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Your yard has been proposed as a new landfill site.

Your kid's birth announcements include the phrase "rug rat."

Your pocket knife has ever been referred to as "Exhibit A."

Your sister has a "Soldier of Fortune" subscription.

Your wife is sister and your daughter

You've ever stood in line more than 1 hour to get your picture taken with a freak of nature.

Your bank checks feature pictures of dogs fighting.

You've ever stabbed someone's hand while reaching for the last pork chop.

On Christmas eve, you left Santa a beer and a Slim Jim.

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"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day."
Frank Sinatra