luci
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Happy St Patrick's Day! ....more jokes...
« on: Mar 13th, 2005, 11:01am » |
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March 17th is just around the corner!
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"I've Lost Me Luggage"
An Irishman arrived at JFK Airport and wandered around the terminal with tears streaming down his cheeks. An airline employee asked him if he was already homesick.
"No," replied the Irishman, "I've lost all me luggage!"
"How'd that happen?"
"The cork fell out!" said the Irishman.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
"Water to Wine"
An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut.
The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car. He says, "Sir, have ya been drinkin'?"
"Just water," says the priest.
The trooper says, "Then why do I smell wine?"
The priest looks at the bottle and says, "Good Lord! He's done it again!"
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
"The Brothel"
Two Irishmen were sitting at a pub having beer and wat ching the brothel across the street.
They saw a Baptist minister walk into the brothel, and one of them said, "Aye, 'tis a shame to see a man of the cloth goin' bad."
Then they saw a rabbi enter the brothel, and the other Irishman said, "Aye, 'tis a shame to see that the Jews are fallin' victim to temptation as well."
Then they see a Catholic priest enter the brothel, and one of the Irishmen said, "What a terrible pity...one of the girls must be dying."
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Irish Predicament
Drunk Ole Mulvihill staggers into a Catholic Church, enters a confessional box, sits down but says nothing.
The Priest co ughs a few times to get his attention but Ole just sits there.
Finally, the Priest pounds three times on the wall.
The drunk mumbles, "Ain't no use knockin', there's no paper on this side either."
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Irish Last Request
Mary Clancy goes up to Father O'Grady after his Sunday morning service, and she's in tears.
He says, "So what's bothering you, Mary my dear?"
She says, "Oh, Father, I've got terrible news. My husband passed away last night."
The priest says, "Oh, Mary, that's terrible. Tell me, did he have any last requests?"
She says, "That he did, Father..."
The priest says, "What did he ask, Mary?"
She says, "He said, 'Please Mary, put down that gun!'
Happy St. Patrick's Day!
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