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   bloke Jokes...( for ladies only)

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Topic: bloke Jokes...( for ladies only) (Read 212 times)

bec
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I'm a pathetically happy person!

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Posts: 820

bloke Jokes...( for ladies only)
« on: Mar 18^th, 2005, 10:35am »

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Harsh things a woman can say to a bloke......

1. Wow....and your feet are so big!

2. I guess this makes me the early bird!

3. but it still works ...right?

4. are you cold?

5. Maybe if we water it ..it will grow?

6. why don't we just cuddle?

7. Why is god punishing me?

8. Maybe it looks better in natural light!

by the way...in aussie speak...Bloke= Man and Bird= woman!

SEMINARS AND SELF HELP GROUPS FOR MEN:

1. Combating stupidity
2. Understanding your financial incompetence
3. Reasons to give flowers
4. How to stay awake after after sex
5. why the weekend and sports are not synonymous
6.The morning dilemma...if it's awake...take a shower!
7. How not to act younger than your children
8.The remote control....overcoming your dependency
9. How to take illness like an adult
10.YOU....the weaker sex! Grin

11. P.M.S.......learning when to keep your mouth shut!
12. YES...you too can do housework!
13. How to fill an icecube tray
14. We do not want sleazy underwear for christmas!

IF BLOKES SUFFERED PMS WHAT WOULD HAPPEN?

The government would allocate funds to research and study it!

cramps would becaome an acceptable reason to apply for permanent disability

There would be a holiday every 28 days

WHAT DID GOD SAY AFTER CREATING MAN?

"Surely I can do better than that"

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luci
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Re: bloke Jokes...( for ladies only)
« Reply #1 on: Mar 18^th, 2005, 10:53am »

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..........hmmmm, guess men are the same all over the world, huh? Wink

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"A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and
can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words."

bec
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I'm a pathetically happy person!

Gender:

Posts: 820

Re: bloke Jokes...( for ladies only)
« Reply #2 on: Mar 18^th, 2005, 10:53am »

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WHY ARE BLOKES LIKE COMPUTERS?

1. They have alot of data but are still clueless
2. A better model is always just around the corner
3. they look nice and shiny...until you bring them home
4. It's always necessary to have a back up
5. They'll do what ver you want if you puish the right buttons
6. The best part of having one is the games you can play
7. size does matter
8. They periodically cut you off when you think you've established a connection!c

What's the difference between a golf ball and the G-spot?
Men will always look for a golf ball.

What's the difference between a pig and a bloke?
A pig doesn't turn into a bloke after 4 beers!

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azure
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Re: bloke Jokes...( for ladies only)
« Reply #3 on: Mar 18^th, 2005, 2:01pm »

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HELLO EVERYBODY!!

rcs_mum
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Re: bloke Jokes...( for ladies only)
« Reply #4 on: Mar 18^th, 2005, 2:28pm »

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Colleen
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Re: bloke Jokes...( for ladies only)
« Reply #5 on: Mar 18^th, 2005, 3:05pm »

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bec
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I'm a pathetically happy person!

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Posts: 820

Re: bloke Jokes...( for ladies only)
« Reply #6 on: Mar 18^th, 2005, 7:03pm »

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Three blokes arrive at the gates of Heaven, and are greeted by St Peter. He says to the first man:

"have you been a good person?"
The first man replies..."yes. I've led a truly worthwhile life, and I've never been unfaithful to my wife" So St Peter gives him a Rolls Royce to aid his travels in Heaven.
St Peter then asks the second man if he's led a good life, the second man replies " well mostly I've been honest nad caring but I was unfaithful to my wife once"
"Very well" replies St Peter " you may have a ford fiesta"
He goes to the third man and asks him the same question to which he replies " well no, I've stolen from loved ones and I've not been faithful to my wife for more then a week" so St Peter gives him a bicycle.
A few days later the second and third man pass the first man who's in his gleaming Rolls Royce crying his heart out. The second man asks him" what's the matter, if I had your car I'd be the happiest man here"
"I was, he replied but I've just seen my wife and she was on roller skates"

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