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Metropolis Reality Forums Ť Leg 5b Recap: Use the Force, Brian! Use the Force! ť

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   Leg 5b Recap: Use the Force, Brian! Use the Force!

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Topic: Leg 5b Recap: Use the Force, Brian! Use the Force! (Read 836 times)

MK
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Leg 5b Recap: Use the Force, Brian! Use the Force!
« on: Apr 1^st, 2005, 8:22pm »

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The Amazing Race: Leg 5b Recap: Use the Force, Brian! Use the Force!

Hello everyone and welcome to my first ever recap! Ever! In my lifetime! So, Id be scared right now if I was you.

Anyway, lets move on to the recap.

Teams flew from one part of southern Africa to another part of southern Africa. Wow! Now I see why its called the Amazing Race!

Okay, seriously, now. Well, as serious as I can get. Teams started in Soweto, South Africa. Jonathan and Flo, I mean, Ray and Deana, opened the clue, where they learned they had to drive to a Lion and Rhino Nature Park. Boy, are these producers creative!

Next, comes Ron and Kelly. They say something, but I forgot what it was, so Ill just make something up.

Ron: I love Kelly, because she is hot.
Kelly: True that!
Ron: Oh, and Ive been in the military.
Kelly: True that!

The third team to leave is the almighty Brian and Greg. They open the clue, but seem to have trouble pronouncing Botswana. It comes out as Go home, give mom a big hug, and eat all her chicken enchiladas until you fall into a food coma. Or something like that. Im thinking they got reading lessons from Boston Robs first grade teacher. Anyway, with a little help from the producers, they soon discover they must drive to the nature park. So off they go as well.

Next comes Lynn Survivor Hater Warren and Alex Im with Lynn Ali. They say something that I forgot also, but it was probably something like this.

Lynn: I hate the Survivors.
Alex: Im with Lynn.

The next team to leave is Romber. He, er, she, er, it? Sigh. This is a grammar nightmare. Ill just be shortening this team to Rob, because it might as well just be Rob. Rob reads the clue and finds out that he must also go somewhere.

Then, its Uchenna and Joyce. This team really isnt that terribly interesting when you think about it.

The last to leave is Meredith and Gretchen. They lost everything except their clothes and their passports. Isnt that, in a way, an advantage? Anyway, they also leave.

Back at the park, Ray and Deana, Ron and Kelly, and Brian and Greg are all on the first shuttle that departs at 8:00 AM, while Lynn and Alex, Rob, Uchenna and Joyce, and Meredith and Gretchen are all on the 9:00 AM shuttle.

On the first shuttle, teams are told that they each person have been given a piece of meat. They are instructed to place these in the back row with Ray and Deana, so that hopefully a lion will come and eat them. Well, it wasnt in those exact words, but I bet thats what that man mustve been thinking.

Eventually, they finish the task, and the 9 am shuttle departs. Amber (remember her?) comments that she likes lions. Well, of course, Amber! Youre engaged to one! They finish too with little difficulty.

Okay, may I pose this question: what were the producers thinking when they designed this task? Were they hoping that a lion would attack Rob and that he would somehow bribe the lion into eating Lynn and Alex instead? Were they planning on a lion to jump on Ron and then that hed whip out a sub-machine gun and pulverize all the lions into bits while yelling, DIE YOU IRAQI #*@^*! at the top of his lungs? Ill never understand producers.

The next thing that happens is everyone heads for the airport. While the first three teams get there with no trouble, three of the last four teams, Lynn and Alex, Rob, and Meredith and Gretchen, have all decided that theyd rather visit the Eiffel Tower instead so off they go puttering down the highway. However they are told that the Eiffel Tower is closed and soon turn around to get back to the airport.

The flights they get on do not matter, because everyone needs to wait until 9 PM to get on the same train, meaning all the work that they put into the start of the leg, all that lion feeding, all that disappointment from not being able to see the Eiffel Tower, was almost utterly pointless. Isnt this just the most wonderful episode?

Back in Botswana, Team America and The Brothers are taking a taxi to a giant aardvark. I thought the giant duck in Amazing Race 5 was strange enough, but a giant aardvark?

Bushman 1: Aslkjskoieru! (Im bored.)
Bushman 2: Aslkjskoieru toualksjk! (Im bored too.
Bushman 1: Tw! (I know! Lets build a giant aardvark out in the middle of nowhere!)
Bushman 2: Jhuyredalskjdjf! (Okay! Lets do it!)

On another note, Team Rob wants to catch a ride with We Hate Team Rob and have a conversation that sounds like this.

Rob: Give us a seat in your cab or suffer.
Lynn and Alex: No!
Rob: You have extra seats!
Lynn and Alex: They are being taken up by our monstrous egos! There is no way you could fit in here.

Unable to argue with that piece of information, the boyfriends drive off into the sunset. Lets skip ahead to the giant aardvark, shall we?

Its a Roadblock. Whoever writes these Roadblock clues deserves to be demoted, because theyre always so devoid of any form of creativity. Who has strong arms and good eyes? Who is not a vegetarian? Who likes shoes? Who has the thickest skull? Im seriously considering making a contest where we can see who can think of a better Roadblock clue than the one given in the show. However, this week we seem to have been spared of any ridiculous Roadblock clues, and are moving straight to the task.

In this task, teams must choose a bushman and must hit a moving target with a spear. This should be easy for Rob, right? He must have done this all the time during immunity challenges out on the island.

Brian seems to be confused and thinks that he has suddenly been teleported to Geonosis. He chooses Yoda for his partner and then tried to throw his lightsaber into the heart of the nefarious Count Dooku. Thats it, Brian Wan Kenobi! Use the force!

It seems to have worked, because he is the first one done! See, watching Star Wars does help you in everyday life! Eventually, every other team finished, except for Rob. He doesnt seem to realize that the point of the challenge is to hit the bag with the SHARP end of the spear. He does manage to complete it by imagining that he is backstabbing Lex back in Panama and is soon off with the other teams.

The next thing they had to do was go out to Xau Xarra, a cattle post deep in bush country, in these four by fours. Ron and Kelly take an early lead, with Jedi Masters Brian and Greg close behind. But then, horror of horrors, their car flips over. Brian tries to use his force powers to flip over his jeep, but he is too weak. (Maybe he should join the dark side of the force.) Lynn and Alex come running to their rescue.

As the four boys are having their little pow-wow, Rob drives right past them. This makes Lynn angry that they didnt stop. But then again, everything Rob does makes Lynn angry.

Soon, its the Detour. The choice: Food or Water. Teams that choose Food, must grind corn and then fill a basket with their corn. This is, by far, THE most mentally disturbing task Ive ever seen performed on the race. Teams that choose water must drink water from an un-sanitized water hole and spit into 12 ostrich eggs. They must cover them in sand to ensure that no future generation of bushmen could possibly find them and get ringworms from the Racers.

Ron and Kelly, Lynn and Alex, Uchenna and Joyce, Meredith and Gretchen, Ray and Deana all chose to give me disturbing pictures for the rest of my life and chose Food.

Rob and Brian and Greg all chose to spit in ostrich eggs and chose Water.

Ron and Kelly and Rob all finished their tasks quickly and had a race to the pit stop. Ron was in the army, though, so he obviously beats out Rob. I think Robs horseshoe mustve stopped working.

Back on the farm, Uchenna and Joyce and Lynn and Alex grind their way to victory to earn third and fourth place respectively. Now, Meredith and Gretchen and Ray and Deana are struggling to beat each other in the Food detour. Right about now, the brothers come in, saying how theyre not quitting (TAKE THAT MARSHALL AND LANCE! ) and choose to take a risk by doing the other option. Meredith and Gretchen amazingly beat Ray and Deana in a physical task! The grandparents manage a fifth place finish. Everyone cheers!

Now it comes down to Ray and Deana and Brian and Greg. The two teams finish at the exact same time and off they go to the pitstop. However, the brothers beat the other couple because they have the power of the Force, eliminating Ray and Deana. Oh, the world mourns.

In their last words (which Im betting my computer on that were edited so that all of Deanas comments were removed), Ray basically complains about how inept Deana is, then says we need to find out whats holding us together and ripping us apart. Um, Ray, its you!

Final Standings:
1. Ron/Kelly
2. Rob/Amber
3. Uchenna/Joyce
4. Lynn/Alex
5. Meredith/Gretchen
6. Brian/Greg
7. Ray/Deana ELIMINATED

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Genius
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Re: Leg 5b Recap: Use the Force, Brian! Use the Fo
« Reply #1 on: Apr 1^st, 2005, 10:01pm »

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Oh my this is one of the best and funniest ever!

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Lana
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Re: Leg 5b Recap: Use the Force, Brian! Use the Fo
« Reply #2 on: Apr 2^nd, 2005, 4:57am »

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Yeah.. It was good...

Except for the part where the Loins are gona eat my team! Grin

« Last Edit: Apr 2^nd, 2005, 5:01am by Lana »

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I love Debbie and Bianca, Aaron and Arriane, Don and Mj, Ray and Deana & Charla and MIRNA!!!

Now, I love the Gaghans, Bransens and Schroenders..

MK
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Re: Leg 5b Recap: Use the Force, Brian! Use the Fo
« Reply #3 on: Apr 2^nd, 2005, 4:58am »

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I was thinking about you when I wrote the Ray and Deana parts. I kept thinking, "Lana is going to get so mad at me!" Wink

Oh, and can we get this stickied?

« Last Edit: Apr 2^nd, 2005, 4:59am by MK »

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Lana
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Re: Leg 5b Recap: Use the Force, Brian! Use the Fo
« Reply #4 on: Apr 2^nd, 2005, 5:15am »

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That's Heather's job I think..

It's okay.. I'm cool! And yes your recap is a bit funny...

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I love Debbie and Bianca, Aaron and Arriane, Don and Mj, Ray and Deana & Charla and MIRNA!!!

Now, I love the Gaghans, Bransens and Schroenders..

MK
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Re: Leg 5b Recap: Use the Force, Brian! Use the Fo
« Reply #5 on: Apr 2^nd, 2005, 6:29am »

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A bit? Lana, you're really honest! Grin

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Amber
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Re: Leg 5b Recap: Use the Force, Brian! Use the Fo
« Reply #6 on: Apr 2^nd, 2005, 7:32am »

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I was awesome!!!

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Kendra
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Re: Leg 5b Recap: Use the Force, Brian! Use the Fo
« Reply #7 on: Apr 2^nd, 2005, 8:55am »

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I love the part about how Amber is engaged to a lion..ROB lol..thats hilarious :laff:

I was laughing the whole time!

Awsome awsome awsome awseom recap!!!! IT'S SOO GOOD GOOD JOB! For your first time, it sounds like your an expert at this..! Cool

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Lana
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Re: Leg 5b Recap: Use the Force, Brian! Use the Fo
« Reply #8 on: Apr 2^nd, 2005, 9:04am »

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Yeah.. A bit.. Coz my smiling face turned into a frown when you wanted to let the lions eat Ray and Deana! Hahaha! You are worse than Ray! No, but it's actually funny Mon... I was really laughing at the True that True that part! Hahaha!

"To the island!" Grin

And what the heck?! TW means : I know! Lets build a giant aardvark out in the middle of nowhere! What language is that? Heehee!

« Last Edit: Apr 2^nd, 2005, 9:08am by Lana »

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I love Debbie and Bianca, Aaron and Arriane, Don and Mj, Ray and Deana & Charla and MIRNA!!!

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Kendra
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Re: Leg 5b Recap: Use the Force, Brian! Use the Fo
« Reply #9 on: Apr 2^nd, 2005, 9:05am »

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I don't really get the "True that" part Huh

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Syd a.k.a Hayden
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Re: Leg 5b Recap: Use the Force, Brian! Use the Fo
« Reply #10 on: Apr 2^nd, 2005, 1:33pm »

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That was really really really good, ya and hilarious!! Great job excellent recap, man myne is going to be boring compared to all of yours cause i dont have any interesting ideas im not creative, so if anyone has any ideas for m e, shoot! Grin

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Lucky
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Re: Leg 5b Recap: Use the Force, Brian! Use the Fo
« Reply #11 on: Apr 2^nd, 2005, 6:55pm »

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Ya your recap is really funny. Cool

I'm not as creative as all of you so I'm not even gonna attempt to write a recap.

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Syd a.k.a Hayden
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Re: Leg 5b Recap: Use the Force, Brian! Use the Fo
« Reply #12 on: Apr 2^nd, 2005, 7:03pm »

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lol its not creativity thats a part of it, so is accuracy , hey you wouldhave done a good job don't be so negative Grin

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Heather
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Re: Leg 5b Recap: Use the Force, Brian! Use the Fo
« Reply #13 on: Apr 2^nd, 2005, 8:09pm »

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Rob: Give us a seat in your cab or suffer.
Lynn and Alex: No!
Rob: You have extra seats!
Lynn and Alex: They are being taken up by our monstrous egos! There is no way you could fit in here.

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He does manage to complete it by imagining that he is backstabbing Lex back in Panama and is soon off with the other teams.

Poor Lex....

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Right about now, the brothers come in, saying how theyre not quitting (TAKE THAT MARSHALL AND LANCE! )

I have to do it! Marshall and Lance :smash:

LOL! That was the funniest recap ever. Grin

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Kendra
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Re: Leg 5b Recap: Use the Force, Brian! Use the Fo
« Reply #14 on: Apr 2^nd, 2005, 9:13pm »

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Yup, I agree with you Heather! That was the funniest recap ever!
And Lana's was the most creative!!! Wink

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